Burger Bitch Needs To Rant

Have I mentioned how much I fucking hate people? I have?! Well, let me tell you again, I fucking HATE EVERYONE. Let’s start with my coworker who’s a complete turdwagon.

As most of you know, it was Thanksgiving this past weekend in Canada, and since Burger Bitch is Canadian and likes delicious Thanksgiving food, I tried to partake in some of the tradition. Well, I had to work most of the weekend, but I managed to go to my mom’s house for a nice Thanksgiving lunch before I had to go to work at 3PM. At 11:30AM, I get a text from my supervisor saying “Cunt McLardass wants to know if you want to come in early. Feel free to call and tell her to eat shit.” Now, does everyone remember Cunt McLardass? She’s my coworker who never shows up on time, spends her entire shift eating, smoking, or in the shitter, and whines constantly. Everyone’s memory jogged? Good.

I told my supervisor that I was visiting with my mom and my step dad and we hadn’t even eaten yet, so no, Cunt McLardass could work for once in her fucking life. Supervisor was completely ok with this considering she probably hates Cunt even more than I do. Now, if it were for anyone else, I would have tried to cut it short and come in early, but nobody else would have fucking ASKED on Thanksgiving. Plus, Cunt VOLUNTEERED to work a full shift on Thanksgiving, so she shouldn’t be fucking complaining!

I get to work around 2:45PM and the minute I walked through the door, Cunt looked at me and said “You REALLY couldn’t take an hour out of your life to come in early? My throat hurts.” Uhm, excuse the fuck out of me, bitch!? So I told her “No, because I have family that actually wants me around” and walked off to the back to get my uniform on. Not even a minute later, Cunt shouts that I have customers to serve. At this point, it’s not even 2:50PM, she still has ten minutes. I looked at Supervisor, who told me not to serve the customers until three.

Cunt then CASHED OFF and fucking walked away! So I had to serve customers before I even had the chance to put on my uniform. Even my manager is getting sick of her. When I went into work today, she told me to purposely not do anything, just to piss Cunt off. I loved it.

But now, onto the idiot customers, and believe me, I’ve had a lot.

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I have no fucking idea why a parent would send their child into a store to get something for them, honestly. Because let me tell you, if you’re a parent, there’s a decent chance that your child is 100% more retarded than you believe.

Twice this week, I’ve had to serve a 6-10 year old kid who knows jack fucking shit about what to order or the value of money. So keep your kids in a cage or something and come in and order yourself.

(Yes, I hate kids. Thanks for noticing.)

But in all honesty, your kid doesn’t know what you want. So just get off your fat ass and come in yourself.

Then, just earlier tonight, I was almost hit by a car. How, you may ask? I was changing the garbage in the DT, right by the menu, and some dumb bitch just pulls right up and comes about two inches away from me. Are you fucking kidding me? If you see someone changing a garbage in the Drive Thru, just go INTO THE FUCKING STORE. Then the lazy cunt got mad at me because I was taking too long to take her order, to which I informed her that if she went in, someone would be glad to help her while I did my job and changed the garbages.

Now, the final thing that’s really starting to get on my nerves; Customers asking me if I have “Fresh coffee made.” I work in a fucking coffee shop, so no, but I have fresh motor oil and abortions ready for you. What the FUCK do you think!? I’m actually starting to answer them with “We ALWAYS have fresh coffee, it’s a coffee shop.” And seriously, we do. We get in crazy shit if we leave the coffee sitting there for over half an hour, so we ALWAYS have fresh coffee. Fucking dipshits.

Thanks for letting me rant guys. In case you’re wondering why I’m more angry than funny in this post is strictly due to stress from school, work AND having idiot roommates. But thanks for letting me have a place to bitch.

A good thing though, a regular told me that I reminded them of Randal Graves from Clerks. Because he saw me tell off a rude customer. Best compliment ever? I think so!

I swear to make more dick jokes next time.

--Burger Bitch

Comments

[Sales Agent Guy]

How the hell is it that Cunt McLardass hasn't been fired yet?! She's like Mr. Lazy, only with a hell of a lot worse attitude.

[The Last Archimedean]

BB, I love your rants even when they're not peppered with humor.

And I'm sending positive thoughts to you, hoping you do well in school and your roommates grow brains that work.

[trekkiebabe]

I agree with Sales Agent Guy, how in the heck has CML not been fired? Good luck in school, BB!

[LaserSpawn]

CML needs to actually work instead of pretending like she does the hardest shit ever when all she really does is eat dick.

[Lady Red]

Hopefully CML is close to being fired if even the manager is getting tired of her not doing her job. I’m surprised she hadn’t already been fired, given it doesn’t sound like she does much of anything besides give attitude when its not necessary.

[froggadelic]

"37?!"

[The Last Archimedean]

Yeah, I'm shocked Cunt hasn't been canned yet. Hopefully it's coming.

[WMDKitty]

CML... fuck, I don't know her, I don't work with her, but I have a sudden urge to smack her with a Clue-Bat.

Can't she at least try to be useful?

[Slave With No Name]

I wish there were less people like CML and more like you BB! I actually thought to myself before coming onto RHU that I hope you were going to post something soon! Sending good vibes to yah!

[heavy melvanova]

Here comes Randall, he's ... a berserker ...

Damn, now I have that movie running thru my head ...

[NC Tony]

I'm also wondering why Cunt hasn't been fired yet. Of course if it were me, I think I would have shown up five or ten minutes late just to piss her off even more. And to answer her question I would have said "When it comes down to my family vs you, my family will ALWAYS win out." or something similar to that, letting her know that her very existence means nothing to me. I'm eagerly waiting for the post where you tell us she was fired.

[Soft Ice Girl]

Wow, I hope you can manage to not strangle Cunt until she is fired.. what a bitch.
As for the children, though, I disagree. Of course, an 8 year old does not know everything about shopping, but I think that children should be fit to buy some bread or milk or so, and I don´t see the problem with sending them in to buy some. Of course, you have to practise it with them first (as in: you shop yourself, dear, and Mom is going to follow you watching, and can help if you need it.).
When I was little, I would go to shop quite often and there has never been a problem.

[Nocturnesthesia]

^ I acknowledge the fact that I hate children and try to be as fair and tolerant as possible. But having some little fucknugget stand there with his thumb up his ass for 10 minutes before handing you a drool-covered pile of coins before unintelligibly mumbling changes to his order four times to find something he has enough for... especially in a fast-paced retail environment... it's fucking frustrating. Even then, it doesn't really burn my ass until I see their useless lardass parent come in and yell at them for taking so long.

I feel your pain, Burger Bitch. School+work is extremely draining, and definitely gives you less patience to deal with human stupidity.

[CashierBtch]

Wouldn't clocking out before your time be considered walking off the job? Was she given permission to leave by the manager? Or are you not as strict about that?

And the thing with the kids. why would you let them out of your sight like that? Do you know what happened to that little girl in Colorado? And not even a week after her kidnapping, a girl in the next town over from me was almost kidnapped because she was outside by herself. There was also that Albertsons incident in Washington or some-such. If a kid hasn't been kidnapped because of lazy parents yet, Thank God! It should be a policy that kids cannot leave the building without the supervision of the adult they walked in with. Even today, I say a little guy, barely even two, still had a binkie in his mouth, almost walk out of the store WITH THE WRONG ADULT! That fucking scares me. I don't have kids, but it scares the bejeezus that someone so little could have just disappeared like that!

Sorry... guess I needed to rant too. I see too many kids unattended and it is really frightening because you never know what the other people in the store are like!