Credit Card Call Center Hell

Greetings, Retail Hell. I've been enjoying your content for quite some time, commenting every once in a while to express my deepest sympathies.

I've never worked in retail, so I've never submitted a post before...but I don't know where else that I can vent about the headache-inducing stupidity and arrogance of my "customers."

I'm too tired right now to think of a clever nickname; maybe you guys can help me with that.

I recently started a new job in a call center for a large financial institution. Specifically, I handle incoming customer service calls for existing credit card customers. There is also a sales component because we are expected to up-sell "products" and services on every call. I completed the 5 week training program last Friday. Today marks one full week that I've actually been on the floor, and I've already had enough.

I. am. over. it.

I've already received a negative survey from a cardholder who called in on my first day and claimed that I became exasperated with him and was unable to help him with his account, to the point that he had to end the call.

I remember that assclown. I was so nice that motherfucker! I offered him multiple options to resolve the issue. He declined every one of them and said that he would make the changes online. He was a complete idiot who was completely clueless about every detail of his account. Here's a clue: if you are the primary cardholder, maybe you should be more careful of who you authorize for access to your account. BTW, they have access to your entire credit line as well...

I have had people yell at me during the identity verification process, daily. I'm so sorry that we are trying to protect your account from unauthorized use. Oh, you wanted to use the automated system? Well, that's too bad. You're stuck with me...and trust me: I'd rather not be talking to you, either. Next time, why don't you call from a phone number that's attached to your account? It might also help if you had your card; that security code on the back sure comes in handy!

I had a woman decline to make her payment over the phone because an actual human had answered the line. "I don't feel comfortable giving out my checking account information to a person...it's too dangerous." Bitch, if I wanted to steal your identity and rack up a bunch of credit, I'm already looking at your full name, address, phone numbers, SSN, DOB, and the full account numbers of every credit card you've ever had with this bank, including the one you don't want to pay right now. They fingerprint us through the FBI database for a reason.

I had a doctor call in and immediately ask me to hold...because he was in the middle of treating a patient. I would be so super pissed if my doctor stopped in the middle of my appointment to call and activate a credit card! He verified the account and asked me to speak to his wife, who snottily asked me what else I needed.

Umm? You called me. "We only wanted the card activated!" (cue saccharine sweet voice) "I apologize ma'am...your husband didn't mention that!" Fucking idiots...see you next Tuesday, bitch. Oh, and did I mention the dentist who called while he was drilling someone's teeth in the background? Nice.

People get angry because they are traveling and their card gets declined because they never notified us and the charges get flagged by fraud prevention for the protection of their account.

How pissed do you think they'd be if we approved every single charge that came through if the card had been stolen? Oh wait, we have a zero fraud liability policy...It takes 3-5 minutes to call us and let us know that you're going to be traveling, or that you'll have an unusual purchase amount coming through. You don't have time for that, yet you have time to scream at me for 20 minutes after the fact? Fuck you, too.

You know how people act all bad-ass on the internets (the comments sections on Yahoo and Youtube alone have made me lose my faith in humanity) because they're really a sad loser who's stuck alone at home on a Friday night and you just know they would never say that shit to anyone's face in real life?

I talk to those people on the phone all day long.

That's enough for now...next time we'll talk about how stupid people can be when I try to "add value" to their account.

Good times, I promise.

--

Comments

[Spritzy]

I dub thee...Headset-Hellion!

[Book Baby]

Spritzy, that's waaay better than what I could come up with!

[Karebear]

I'm usually doing the happy dance when I get a human on the line rather than a computer/automated thingy. Everytime I call my internet people, I sit there having to shout no into the phone for the computer cause it didn't "hear me" the first 2 times. Argh. Give me a human anyway and I'll talk sweetly and nicely and send you telephone hugs and kisses. (Ok not the hugs or kisses, but I'll be nice.)

I also vote for Headset-Hellion.

[Crazy Cashier]

I gotta wonder sometimes if they write down the stuff . Because when I was going to study abroad (for a significant time) I called both my bank and my credit card(about a month or so in advance). And told them I"m leaving on such and such date and will be there to such in such date. And I still got calls (or I would have(parents answered them) , had I been in the States when they had called) asking to verify it . (multiple times )

[Queer Geek]

I can so relate to your situation. Part of my office job at the Big Fancy was handling custy accounts and resolving issues. You can't imagine the sheer dumbass idiocy of people. If I wanted to steal your identity and rack up purchases on your account, you better believe I would go through all the trouble of getting all your personal info just so I can go prison for it! Bascially if you can't resolve your credit problem yourself, you apparently shouldn't have called.

[Fortune Cookie]

I know that feeling. I work for a big bank here as well. OMG, the stupidity of people...

[Book Diver]

Headset Hellion is pure awesome. I hear you about getting yelled at about the verification of identity. (Bank in my case.) Sorry for trying to protect you! I also enjoyed getting screeched at by spouses who weren't listed on the financial information which meant that legally I couldn't talk to them. I have no way of verifying that you're really this person's spouse, angry family member, or jerk who got cut off by them on the highway and wants to take revenge.

[Headset Hellion]

Headset Hellion here...I love it!

Crazy Cashier, I can't speak for your bank, obviously, but when people call us for travel notifications, we're required to note the dates and locations in two different areas of the system, read you a disclosure about travel protection strategies, and educate you about any applicable foreign transaction fees...but we also notify the customer that there may be times when the card won't be approved and you may have to contact us for authorization (you can call collect from overseas).

Book Diver: yes! Thank you! How am I supposed to know that you are so-and-so's wife? Maybe it says something about your marriage that he doesn't have you authorized on his account! This also goes for "secretaries": you know you can set up a business account and authorize your employees, right?

[free credit check]

credit card will make it more comfortable and secure to carry the money. For example, if somebody want to buy a new car that cost about fifty thousand dollars, he have to take all the cash to the car shop which might be rob while travel.

[loans with no credit check]

why don't you call from a phone number that's attached to your account?