What the fucking fuck?
Early in shift today, we had an older lady come in with one of the E-Cigarettes. It looked like a disposable one and she’d obviously had it for a long time. The filter end was chewed on something terrible, and when she came up to me, she said she’d bought it that morning, but it didn’t work and she wanted her money back.
Terah: Uh… this isn’t one of our E-Cigs.
Lady: (Suddenly flipping out) I BOUGHT IT FROM THE OLD LADY THIS MORNING! It is one of yours and it doesn’t work! I want my money back NOW!
Terah: Ma’am, no just… no. This isn’t a brand we carry. All of ours have the brand names on the batteries, this one has a crocodile.
Lady: I HAVE A RECEIPT!
Terah: Okay. Let me see.
She walked out of the store to get it, and I grabbed Shift Leader 2, who was waiting when the woman got back. Sure enough, she had the packaging to one of ours, and a receipt from this morning, but the E-Cig in her hand was clearly a different brand. I’m convinced that she accidentally grabbed the wrong one, but when we asked her if this was possible, well of course it’s not. We got her sent on her way with her promising to get us in trouble with the manager.
Was that the end of it? NO!
There was a hit-and-run in the overflow lot next to the building! One of the Banana Cops was out in Overflow and all at once we see an ambulance rush in. My new coworker, Rooster, and I ran outside to watch. It seems some FUCK struck this poor woman in the parking lot and hit the gas when he realized what he did! The Banana Cop said she would be fine, but wow.
Well, was THAT the end of it?
Foofy comes over to the Smoke Shop and all at once just bursts out screaming.
Foofy: That’s it! THAT’S IT! I HAVE HAD IT AND I MAY QUIT!
Now, you have to understand that when Foofy is mad, her voice pitch just gets higher and higher until only dogs can hear her. I will censor Foofy’s offensive language from this post, but it seems that a very large woman came RUNNING from the Casino, something about needing to pee. Rather than use the Casino bathroom, she runs all the way down to the gas station…
And doesn’t make it. Yes, RHU, this woman pissed on our floor while running to the bathroom. And then pissed all over the bathroom floor. And then walked through the store with a piss stain on her pants, ‘fingering the Little Debbie cakes, LIKE SHE NEEDS THEM!’ (Foofy’s words, not mine) and then walks back up to the Casino, still covered from the crotch down in piss.
It’s days like this I feel like taking up drinking.