Not-Listening-Man Is Really Not Listening

Volunteering with Wonderful Lady at the hospital gives me a great deal of experience in dealing with many kinds of people, particularly prospective volunteers.

Our 'hiring' process goes thusly:
1. You submit a completed application
2. We immediately send out a background check, which can take a week, and contact your references through a mail survey.
3. If the background check clears, we call you for an interview.
4. You have your interview, as well as some paperwork to fill out. You are told during the interview that you need to complete two tuberculosis skin tests (TST's) or have proof of having them within the last year from your doctor.
5. We schedule an orientation, which includes a tour and the option to choose the department you wish to volunteer in. You get your photo taken for your badge and you receive your uniform shirt. We reiterate the need for your completed TST's before you can start.
6. When you turn in your TST's, (before or after orientation) have your badge and your uniform, you can begin volunteering.
7. If any of these hoops are skipped, we call you to see if you can complete them in order to let you volunteer.

If you've never hand one, a Tuberculosis Skin Test involves injecting a tiny bit of the purified tuberculosis protein just under your skin (not into veins or muscles). If it stays flat, you are negative for Tuberculosis.

If it swells like a mosquito bite, turns bright red and starts itching like mad, you are positive for having been exposed to it. At this point, they have you do a chest x-ray. If your lungs are free of lesions, they know you were exposed to it, but fought it off and are not contageous. You can still volunteer as long as you continue to have your tests once a year or so.

So we have a prospective volunteer who has completed almost everything except the TST test. I call him up to see if he's still interested. The man who answers has a heavy Middle Eastern accent but I can still understand him. He also has a strong tone of smug superiority in his voice that immediately grates on my nerves.

Me: Hello, my name is Ilia and I'm calling on behalf of the [Hospital] Volunteer Services.

Him: Yes ma'am.

Me: Are you still interested in volunteering?

Him: Yes ma'am. I had my interview and orientation nearly a month ago, but haven't heard from the hospital since.

Me: Okay well it looks like the only thing missing is your TST test.

Him: My what?

Me; I'm sorry, your Tuberculosis Skin Test.

Him: What's that?

Me: A test you have to have in order to volunteer.

Him: Where do I go to get one?

Me: You need to complete two. We gave you a sheet of paper in your interview packet-

Him: Yes ma'am

Me: -that has the hours that Employee Health-

Him: Yes ma'am

Me: ... that has the hours that Employee Health is open to give you free skin tests.

Him: Yes ma'am

Me: You need to go there and get both of your tests--

Him: Yes ma'am

Me: -before you can volunteer.

I'm beginning to see the pattern here. He talks over the top of me, says the same thing and doesn't appear to really be listening or understanding what I'm trying to tell him.

Him: So I cannot volunteer without these tests?

Me: No, sir, we cannot move forward--

Him: Yes ma'am

Me: -until you are cleared.

Him: Oh, uh, I've already had those tests.

(I highly doubt that!)

Me: Oh good. Then all you have to do is go to your doctor and-

Him: Yes ma'am

Me: -ask him or her to print out a sheet. It takes only a few seconds and doesn't cost anything.

Him: He's in Pakistan. I can't get those papers.

Me: Then you'll have to re-take the tests.

Him: I have to re-take the tests?

Me: Yes sir.

Him: Why didn't the lady call me to tell me this?

Me: She told you this in the interview AND the orientation-

Him: Yes ma'am

Me: -sir. After that, it's up to you to-

Him: Yes ma'am

Me: -get the shots done and get us the paperwork.

Him: Yes ma'am.

My eye is twitching by now, and I'm normally very patient, but his interruptions are getting on my last nerve.

Me: So get those tests to us and we'll get you started volunteering.

Him: Yes ma'am. So I cannot volunteer unless I get these shots?

Me: They're not shots sir-

Him: Yes ma'am

Me: They are skin tests.

Him: Yes ma'am

Me: And no. You can't volunteer until you complete them.

Him: Yes ma'am.

Me: Have a good day sir.

I hang up during his final "Yes ma'am" and facepalm into both hands with a sigh nearly deep enough to throw out my back.

Wonderful Lady: What seems to be the problem?

Me: Wonderful lady... I don't want to seem racist...

Wonderful lady: Oh don't worry about it hun, you are the least racist person I know. Just tell me what you're thinking.

Me: I... I really don't think we want him volunteering with us. He barely understands English, he has a heavy accent and he interrupted what I was saying every other word. I think he was either not listening because I'm a woman, or else just really doesn't undestand what I'm saying and is trying to cover it up by constantly saying "Yes ma'am" over the top of me. I have a sneaking suspicion that any female volunteers he works with will throttle him before the day is out.

Being that our volunteer staff is 3/4 female, there really is no place we can put him that won't have him running over or otherwise offending the female volunteer staff. This is particularly worrysome because every department but one has a female Head of the department. These women are strong and experienced, with an air of authority. His superior attitude and inability or unwillingness to understand would make him impossible to work with.

Wonderful Lady takes my concerns seriously and says that since I have done what I can, she'll handle the rest.

In the end, the man never showed up for his shots, and was inactivated.

May all your customers be nice,

Comments

[Sales Agent Guy]

I absolutely HATE people like that, who interrupt you and are smug like that. I'm so glad he didn't volunteer there.

[Spritzy]

I'm thinking it's more likely that he just didn't understand you. Saying "Yes Ma'am" at random intervals because he didn't know when your statements were finished. And yes, it's possible that there was a bit of misogyny as well, since it's common in a lot of Middle Eastern cultures for men to behave superior towards women.

[trekkiebabe]

Could be a mixture, but I've had Middle Eastern male customers that do the same thing. It's annoying because as a woman, I highly suspect that they're looking down at me based on their actions and tone, but they're never out and out rude about it.

[Eccentric Lady]

That is annoying.

When I was stationed in Turkey, it was a real eye opener for some conscripted troops to see an Air Force officer dressing down another officer - and the ranking officer who was getting on the other officer's case was female. They held their mouths like they turned into instant goldfish or something.

It's common it seems for them to look over the women and go straight for the male partner for orders at a restaurant, etc., too - often Americans stationed there circumvent it by having the ladies order first.

[photoslave]

Try being a photographer for a group of men that think women shouldn't be allowed in public. They barely acknowledge you and refuse to let you pose them.

[Nocturnesthesia]

Yeah, I had a Turkish roommate once who thought living with a couple of girls meant he had free servants. Besides being a slob, he'd pretend not to speak English when I'd confront him about it (despite taking classes in English and Skyping loudly in English all the damn time).
On the other side I have a couple of Indian coworkers who are completely over-the-top polite and afraid of saying something wrong to a white woman. That can be frustrating in its own way but I appreciate the effort.

[m.]

Seriously? A guy says "Yes ma'am" too much and that means he's an asshole? When my mom was starting to learn English she would say that a lot too. It was her way of showing that she WAS keeping up with the conversation. She later became a news paper reporter. Good thing no one complained about her saying "yes ma'am" too much.

[TechTiger]

Holy bold inflation, Batman. (rubs eyes)

M, It's not 'saying it too much', it's 'not listening and interrupting constantly with it'. He was interrupting the information he needed to get done what he had applied for, and it had to be repeated (with more interruptions).