Gift Store Hell: Abused By Hellspawn

Oh Lord RHU! 

There’s a reason why I choose not to have kids!  When we discuss Hellspawns, there are just cause why I support pro-choice decisions.  Some little bastards deserve to be aborted so I’m all for drowning these kittens in the bathtub.  Here’s how it went down.

Now many of you know I work in a tourist gift store in the city which requires us to stay open late for all the homeless, club patrons, and any wacko off the street to hound us.  Anyway, we carry casual designer clothes that are popular with skaters and surfers that frequently shoplifters try to steal so we have to keep a close eye on the merchandise.  So it is ten o’clock at night and we have a huge group of customers shopping in our store when these group of middle school kids with backpacks come in.

Immediately, red flags rise for several reasons. 

One it is school night and a bunch of middle school age kids are way past their curfew to be hanging out in the downtown area.  Two, the little bastards decide to head in as a group toward the designer clothes.  Lastly, the store is busy leaving the perfect time for anyone to boost whatever they want from the establishment.

Right way, my coworkers and I watch them like a hawk and do the usual May I help you?  spiel.  The kids sensing us following them get pissed and start tearing up the store trying on clothes and making a huge mess.  Finally a group corners me and one of the little shits asks me the following question.

Hellspawn: Excuse me mam?

Me: I’m sorry.

Hellspawn: Excuse me mam?  Do you work here?

(Read the nametag dumbass!)

Me: Yeah, how can I help you?  And the right address you need to use is sir.

Hellspawn: *gets dramatic* Oh I’m soooorry, sir.  I thought you were a woman especially when you look like a transvestite.

His cohorts snicker and I shake my head at their idiocy.  They finally decide to leave.

Okay, here’s my rant.  The little fucks were trying to be funny by calling me a transvestite!  Well here’s what I should’ve told that little Hellspawn.  Ahem.

Take your Justin Bieber wannabe, emo haircut and your dumb fuck comments and shove them where the sun don’t shine you little, high school dropout, future crystal meth making, minimum wage burger flipping, welfare food stamp cheating, dead beat dad career making fucking loser!  See yourself in ten years when another little dumbass decides to bitch call you out at your dead end job and decides to annoy the living shit of out you!  Muahahaha!

Thank you…and scene!

--Queer Geek

 

 

 

Comments

[Wmdkitty]

Yeah, I'd be pissed off if I were profiled on walking into a store. Just because they're teenagers, they're, like, totally going to steal stuff?

Riiiight.

[Karebear]

>.< I fully believe all parents should go through a 9 month parenting course while they are pregnant so we could avoid stupidness like this.

Then again, may not help. Sorry that this happened to you. *hugs!*

[photoslave]

@Wmdkitty, certain behaviors raise red flags. This clearly was NOT profiling. The crotchspawns behaved suspiciously and were treated like potential shoplifters. Have you ever worked in a store that attracted a lot of shoplifters?

[The Last Archimedean]

I'm sorry you went through that, QG, but unless these fuck-trophies straighten their lives out you are right that karma will come back to bite them in the butt.

[Jami]

@Karebear - The problem is that parents who raise kids like that never listen to advice. They think their non-parenting is the only way to parent.

[Kristina]

CG why do I have a feeling you live in my hometown? If you do you have my deepest sympathy even though living in the greater white north is making me miss that place. The people on the other hand not so much, especially the shit head kids, because i was never like that, but they made it hard for those of us who did hang downtown to not be given the stink eye from various adults.

[Skittles]

Yeah WMDKitty they were profiled and you know what profiling is an incredibly effective tool. It's not like QG was saying they were black they must be thieves, he was noting that they were junior high aged, out at 10pm on a school night, all carrying backpacks, and headed directly to the most expensive merchandise in the store. There is nothing wrong with profiling done correctly as this was. Profiling only breaks down when it is done in a racist or sexist way. Otherwise it is incredibly accurate, and very efficient.

I probably would have said something to the affect that it was nice to know he had seen me in my off time but no freebies. Of course I don't think I would still have a job after that but sometimes my filter is broken.

[Queer Geek]

It's ageism profiling and I have no shame in admitting to it! Seriously, when is it okay for middle age kids to be out at all hours of the night? 10:00 on a school night is something I don't get! My parents were strict and wanted me home by dinner and you wonder why there are issues with little shits getting into trouble with the law.

Anyway, these little shits KNEW what they were doing. Not only that they were purposely becoming piggy custys just to piss the slaves off because we wouldn't allow them to steal shit. Sorry, I work damn hard for my paycheck and no five finger discount snot is going to make me lose my job because I decided to turn the other cheek and let them rob us blind!

Fuck no! I'm waiting for karma when they start making minimum wage! Hahahaha!

[Nocturnesthesia]

Transvestite? Dohohohoho that's witty.

Personally I'd raise the abortion age to 16 or so, but people usually compare me to Stalin when I suggest it. Let's hope some of the little bastards have parents that set their shit straight after they get arrested for shoplifting.

[WMDKitty]

So, QueerGeek, I take it you've never gone into a store just to look at stuff, then? You know, because that's exactly what these kids were doing, and you apparently think that's "suspicious"...

[cashykat]

Geez wmdkitty dont you think you're being a tiny bit naive? those little snots were trying to steal crap. maybe you haven't seen brats doing just that in youtube videos. they come in herds with backpacks, make a mess and steal shit.

[RetailBird]

@WMDKitty, yeah. young minors, out past curfew, on a school night, with back packs is suspicious as hell. Half the reason curfews exist is to protect the rest of the citizenry from these brats who's IQs drop at least 10 points at sundown. They lose at least another 50 points collectively in large groups.

[Michael Chandra]

WMDKitty: Wandering through a shop alone is one thing. In a group, later than you should be out, with backpacks and going straight for the shoplifting-gallery? That is entirely a different thing. Now if you yourself believe that's not suspicious, that's one thing, but making a rubbish comparison to make your point rather than properly stating a reasonable argument, that is entirely a different thing.

[Slave of Arch]

If they didn't have the backpacks when they walked in, my guess is they'd have been treated a little less like potential thieves (cuz it'd be harder to steal stuff), but the fact is, they had backpacks, which is kinda a dead giveaway.

[Jami]

@QG - While I'm sure you're right about them being shoplifters, sadly a lot of parents don't care anymore. Our neighbor across the street doesn't care if her elementary age son is out on the streets at 11 on a school night. She's too busy flirting with the firefighter next door to be a parent. (Nevermind she's 1: Married, 2: Way older than him. 3: MARRIED. 4: A hag. 5: MARRIED! Did I mentioned she's already married?)

And she's just one example. There's so many parents I've seen who let their young kids wander. Kindergardeners walk home from school even though if you check the Megan's Law website you'll find that pedophiles - many guilty of raping kids as young as six - actually live across the street from the school. (It sucks I'm not allowed to post the information for parents to read but apparently even pedophiles have rights. Bah!) They leave their preteens at the library and don't pick them up until ten minutes after closing - we have to stay with them until then and call and let their parents know if they don't pick them up by 9:15 we have to call the police. You can guess how well that goes over.

And none of the parents really care what their kids do as long as they're not bothering them.

Obviously this isn't all parents, but I'm betting these are the kind of parents the teens you had to deal with have.

[Karebear]

At some point in time, you gotta be getting warning signals. If no one paid attention to their gut, half the store could be robbed. Anyone with backpacks is a major red flag for me, unless they ask to stash it somewhere up front while they shop. But then again, I used to watch everyone like a hawk, regardless of race, gender, and age. Never know in these times!

[Queer Geek]

@WMDKitty

There's a difference between shopping, browsing, and being complete turds. When a group of teens come in late a night and LITERALLY start pulling shit out and making a mess. I mean they were laughing and destroying displays and rearranging shit and leaving things in places where they shouldn't be because they thought it was funny! I'm sorry but I'm going to age profile that little brats. Unless you deal with these fuckers frequently then you would know the potential for theft to occur. Now my store does not have a security on guard and part of my job is to prevent shoplifting from happening so I make no bones of doing my job. I probably bet if you were in my shoes you would be doing the same.

[Raven]

Yep, I'm with WMDKitty here. It's ridiculous how much age profiling goes on in retail. If I notice someone is following me around because I happen to be in a "suspicious" age bracket, you're damn right I'm going to get pissed with them.

[Jami]

Well, I'm with QG. I think it's pretty obvious they were thieves. You'd have to have an IQ lower than Snooki to think otherwise.

And that's coming from someone who has been treated like a thief.(And that was as an adult when I was with my mother, no less!)

[Kristina]

@Raven age is only part of it, its overall BEHAVIOR. At the end of the day if you don't act suspect you won't be treated as such. Unless you happen to be black/brown and walk into a store staffed with bigots. BTW there is a difference between getting pissed and being a destructive asswipe. There is no excuse for what those brats did and dollars to donuts they would have tried to jack something if no one had been paying attention. They also would have bragged about it given the chance.

[NC Tony]

Following up on what Kristina said, they would probably have been dumb enough to brag about it on Facebook.

The parents that pay no attention to their kids are the same ones that turn around and cry "He's such a good boy." when the stupid kid gets in trouble multiple times with the law.

[Queer Geek]

Hence, I'm glad I'm never having kids. I'm happy my sperm ducts are shooting powder now!

[The Last Archimedean]

I was married to my ex for long enough before we decided to bring progeny into the world that I knew she would beat the living hell out of my kids if they even thought about being a shoplifter or a vandal. They rightfully fear her if they get in trouble... so they don't get in trouble.

Actually, she wouldn't physically beat them. Just keep them locked in their room for a year except for the hours they're in school and take away all their fun things. They know not to misbehave.

[Kel]

Om gonna go with the minority and say its not so much that they are young. They were just assholes. Would you have followed them so much if they were elderly this is a point because statistically people over 60 are more likely to steal then kids. They "know" they wont be stopped or harassed about it. Also people don't watch them. I have seen it time and time again on surveilince cameras. While some kids are little shits that need to be taken out back and beaten with a rubber hose.... theese kids apply for you QG This isnt true for all of them. Please don't judge all kids for a few bad experiences. :(

[Queer Geek]

@Kel

No I don't judge every kid in such a manner. My posts are complete satire. However I'm sticking to my admittance that I don't EVER want kids. Plus I have no problem with bitch calling little shits if they're acting like one.

[Kel]

Fair enough QG Fair enough. I stand by my rubber hose statement!