There’s a reason why I choose not to have kids! When we discuss Hellspawns, there are just cause why I support pro-choice decisions. Some little bastards deserve to be aborted so I’m all for drowning these kittens in the bathtub. Here’s how it went down.
Now many of you know I work in a tourist gift store in the city which requires us to stay open late for all the homeless, club patrons, and any wacko off the street to hound us. Anyway, we carry casual designer clothes that are popular with skaters and surfers that frequently shoplifters try to steal so we have to keep a close eye on the merchandise. So it is ten o’clock at night and we have a huge group of customers shopping in our store when these group of middle school kids with backpacks come in.
Immediately, red flags rise for several reasons.
One it is school night and a bunch of middle school age kids are way past their curfew to be hanging out in the downtown area. Two, the little bastards decide to head in as a group toward the designer clothes. Lastly, the store is busy leaving the perfect time for anyone to boost whatever they want from the establishment.
Right way, my coworkers and I watch them like a hawk and do the usual May I help you? spiel. The kids sensing us following them get pissed and start tearing up the store trying on clothes and making a huge mess. Finally a group corners me and one of the little shits asks me the following question.
Hellspawn: Excuse me mam?
Hellspawn: Excuse me mam? Do you work here?
(Read the nametag dumbass!)
Me: Yeah, how can I help you? And the right address you need to use is sir.
Hellspawn: *gets dramatic* Oh I’m soooorry, sir. I thought you were a woman especially when you look like a transvestite.
His cohorts snicker and I shake my head at their idiocy. They finally decide to leave.
Okay, here’s my rant. The little fucks were trying to be funny by calling me a transvestite! Well here’s what I should’ve told that little Hellspawn. Ahem.
Take your Justin Bieber wannabe, emo haircut and your dumb fuck comments and shove them where the sun don’t shine you little, high school dropout, future crystal meth making, minimum wage burger flipping, welfare food stamp cheating, dead beat dad career making fucking loser! See yourself in ten years when another little dumbass decides to bitch call you out at your dead end job and decides to annoy the living shit of out you! Muahahaha!
Thank you…and scene!