like every time we are out in public, usually the store or something, he says
or does something that makes me want to go "That's not my kid!" But
it seems to get the retail people smiling, so I guess it's not soooo bad.
First, we were at the library. He had already picked out a book to take home, and I was browsing the shelves. He would randomly say, "Hey mommy, what's this word?" or "What's this?" I was reading the back of a book that looked interesting, when he says, "hey mooooooom." I asked him to wait for a few seconds so I could finish reading the back, when all of a sudden he just yells "Mom! I got to pee and poop!!!!" Top of his lungs, in the quiet library, with at least a dozen people nearby. Eesh. We left shortly after he was done in the bathroom.
Second, we were at the store, buying some pancake mix cause I wanted pancakes the next morning. The cashier was a younger girl, with a boyish haircut, but well, she was rather large breasted. (I may have made the mistake of confusing her for a boy if it weren't for that.) Next thing I know, my son is asking, "Mommy why does that boy got big boobies?" Even though I was very red in the face and apologizing to the poor slave, she was laughing her butt off. (I'll never forgive my ex for teaching my son the word boobies years ago.)
Lastly, in a different store, stocking up on some bathroom essentials. (ie: toilet paper, soap, tampons - face it, I'm a girl, it happens, deal with it.) While ringing out, my son decides to get all curious and start asking what tampons are for. My usual "you'll know when you are old enough to know" answer wasn't enough for him. He asks, "Do you stick it in your ears?" then he went through mouth, nose, belly button etc. Til it dawns on him, "Oh no! Does it go in your butt?!" Red faced mommy again, trying to hush him going "Nooooo!" I pointed his attention to candy and he quickly forgot, but the cashier sure was giggling from that.
Next time I go out, I may just put a muzzle on him. (Okay, not really, but maybe I can introduce the quiet game to him.)