Black Friday LOL: Funniest Customer Lines Ever

Hi Womens Retail Slave here writing to you after all that mess we call Black Friday.

I had a pretty easy going day, which really scared the hell out of me. However like always there are a few people who live in a dream land and have expectations that cannot be met ever.

So climb down from your pedestal and I'll try to meet you half way. Put on that fake smile and grit them teeth.  Much like many stores out there we had doorbusters and free gifts, and coupons, and all that jazz.

Here are some doozies I heard this Black Friday and Saturday.

-"Can you hold one of the free gifts for me, I'll be in around 3pm. Its way to early to shop."

-"I work in the mall. You can give me your discount.*WINK WINK*" <--no

-"What do you mean you're out of the doorbusters? That's bait and switch. I am a lawyer. I'm going to sue you for false advertising."

-"Since you're out of doorbusters, can I get this twice as expensive item at the same price?"

-"I want you to hold these, I'm going to see what your competitor has to offer. Oh, I still want them at the price that ends in 30 mins"

-"I'm shopping with my family of 6 with includes 4 children under 8. So that means I get 6 free gifts right?"

-"I can't believe I had to wait outside in the cold for you to open!!" <-- this was the top dumb comment since we are INSIDE A MALL

-"Why did the store across the way close?" Where is it?" What were their Black Friday sales?" 

-"Why isn't xxxx store open. I really wanted to shop there."

-"So I have a 20% off coupon. If I use it on stuff that's 80%, it should be free."

-"I found this on a 50% off rack. Is it on sale?"

-"I found this on a 50% off rack. How much is it?"

-"The tag said it was $40, but I found it on a 50% off rack. How much will it be with the discount?"

-"Oh you poor thing had to be here at 2am. Who would come shopping at 2am?" <--- um, you. You came shopping at 2am.

-"How could you already be out of the free gift its only 8am. You only opened 2 hours ago" <---um no we opened 8 hours ago

-"I was here 6 hours ago during your doorbuster sale. I want more at the same price."

-"If I return my free gift, how much money can I get?"

-"Can I return my free gift and get something different?"

-"This doorbuster was on sale for $10 but the tag said $40. So I should get $40 back on my return"

-"This rack said 40% off ALL COATS IN THE WHOLE STORE. Does that mean just this rack?"

-"So ALL COATS? What about this one? What about this coat? What about this one? What about this one?" <---- isn't that the webster's dictionary definition of insanity?

-"Blah blah, I hate this store, you never do anything right. Are you hiring? I should work here to get a discount" <-----wait, what? You hate us, but want to work here?

-"I can't believe you were closed yesterday. I came here and all the lights were off and the doors were locked to the mall" <--- did the empty ass parking lot NOT tell you something?

-"I deserve another free gift since I was upset by (not telling me merry Christmas vs happy holiday)(you didn't thank me sincerely enough)(I had to wait in a line)(my card declining)(my lack of social skills when interacting with another customer who wants the same item)(store lighting/temperature/music choices)(the smell of your store/my allergy to perfume that you sell/other people wearing perfume)(the act of bending over to get something off shelf)(walk from my car to your store)" Seriously. No seriously.

All in all I had a fairly fun day. Most crustys were nice enough, some were a little bat-ass crazy due to lack of sleep or sunlight.

I did have 1 crusty derailed my whole happy train with one comment. But she's a whole catagory of beeeotch that I won't go into detail, since I can't mask the comment that she made or the backhanded apology that I gave back to her. That's all for now, I am truly counting down the days until Xmas and the breath of fresh air called January where vacation is all new and reset and exciting!

Good luck and God speed to those fellow retailer's out there.

P.S what is happened to the youth of society. I have gotten more phone #-less job applications in the last 2 months than I have ever in the 15+ years I have worked in retail. Also booty-shorts, tube tops, facial gang tattoos, cell phone dependent, pajamas, and scuzzy flip flop feet are not acceptable EVER for job application pick up, drop off, job interview or onboarding EVER. More stories about applications and the people that turn them in later!!

--Womens Retail Slave

 

Comments

[Sales Agent Guy]

From what you posted:

-"So I have a 20% off coupon. If I use it on stuff that's 80%, it should be free."

Not at my store. Our coupons for discounts like that can't be used on promotional items of any kind. Unfortunately, people don't always realize that, and then they whine that they didn't know it was on sale. Well, if you want to pay full price for it just so you can get 20% off of it, then I have to wonder what happened to your common sense!

[Larry Berry]

On stories about applications and the people who turn them in. A friend of mine went to temporarily manage a store in a bad town. A gang was harassing the customers, and threatened her with a bat. She actually grabbed the bat out of his hand and ran them off with it. A week later the kid she grabbed the bat from applied for a job. She totally berated him "you didn't think I would recognize you.... By the way I still have your bat".

[Nomnom]

Oh my, the one about waiting outside when you're in the mall. Last Black Friday (not this past one, last years) my sister and I did the whole go out early thing to Pennies, and since they are commonly a mall anchor it had outside and inside entrances. There was a line around the corner of the building outside to get in. My sister and I went in a normal mall entrance and went in to Pennies from the mall entrance - no line at all. We were like lol wtf.

This year I insisted on going out at a normal time and all their $10 jeans were totally gone. My sister was miffed.

[Chicajojobe]

@SalesAgentGuy,

At The Baby Store, we could do double discounts. That just depends on the store, but even if they'll double the discounts 20% off an item that's 80% off isn't free! Apparently that custy failed 5th grade math.
$100-80%=$20
$20-20%=$16.