Black Friday Walmart Custy Attacks Other Custys For Their Shopping Carts, Gets Tazered By Cops and Looses Her Black Friday Loot

So I’m not sure what this qualifies as, but it made me giggle.

Foofy Sparklepants LOVES her some Black Friday. She went around our giant retailers and managed to make it out without getting anyone trampled this year (A different story for a different day) and with a couple of funny stories.

At Bullseye, they had this sale they didn’t advertise. One of those ‘Hey! You made it! You braved the crowds and didn’t die! Here’s an awesome sale JUST FOR YOU!’ things.

It was a home speaker set that was something like $398.98 that was marked down to $40. She grabbed one for herself and then another for a lady behind her. That’s when this old bitch began punching her in the ribcage to make her let them go. Foofy elbowed her in the eye and ran down the aisle with the other lady following her, using the boxes as battering rams to move people out of the way.

And then at Hellmart, there was one custy who would physically attack people to be able to rifle through their carts and run. She’d punch them or kick them or scratch them… anything to move them from their carts long enough to grab and go.

That’s when they called the police on her.

As was told to me (since I was smart enough to sit at home all day and not go out into the world of crazies) the cops showed up and got to the lady and tazed her. They tried getting her in the neck, but she moved around and they got her in the face. The lady got tazed in the FACE! She fell to the ground and peed on herself and everything, and by this time, a large circle had formed around the cop and the woman. Everyone knew she was getting taken out of there, and her cart was up for grabs.

No one moved a muscle. No one dared make the first move. It got quiet in the area, and the only thing you heard was a loud, shrill voice.

Foofy: (To a friend) GET MY CART!!!!!

Foofy ran into the center of the circle after the cop got the woman up, grabbed the woman’s cart of ill-gotten gains and ran off with it to the sporting goods section with her friend to divide the plunder.

Regardless of it all, it made me laugh.

--Terah

 

 

Comments

[Chicajojobe]

Okay, that is freaking insanity!

Even the first story about Bullseye. Someone punches me in the ribs over a set of speakers, I'll probably be the one being arrested because I'm gonna strangle a bitch! Someone else can take my speakers while I'm distracted, it's the principle of it at that point.

What the hell is wrong with out society? Are we really so greedy and materialistic that we squabble like animals over cheap junk?

[NetStormer]

@Chicajojobe: Yes, yes we are. There's a video up here: http://cheezburger.com/44924673 that shows just how stupid it can be. It is SFW, but you might want to watch the volume.

The one word I would use for that video is: 'Disgusting'

Thankfully, I'm Canadian and Black Friday hasn't completely corrupted our society... but it's slowly coming... and for that I'm afraid.

[Nic]

There would have been no more elbows or claws, just a bitch laid out unconscious in the middle of the floor, possibly bleeding from the ears. I had to brave a smaller-town Hell-mart Thursday night just long enough to get some Benadryl for my dumbass MIL. I only had to yell at one group of people, thank Jeebus.

[NC Tony]

Yeah, if anyone punched me, I'd punch them until they stopped moving. If I didn't have to work Black Friday, I would have stayed home.

[Nocturnesthesia]

Canadians seem to be a little more civilized about this kind of thing. There were 3-day sales and they made sure to stock a ton of the 75% off deals, no one got pepper sprayed or tazered, and even on Boxing Day no one really lines up before the places open.

[Skittles]

Part of the problem is the amount of pressure people are under right now. The economy is awful the press is fearmongering they get unrealistic ideas of how christmas should be perfect from tv. So when their comes a point that people are encourage by media to uncork that pressure it all comes out in a blast of stupid mania.