Crazy Grocery Custy Calling: I'll Serve Papers On You Right Now

Let me be the first to say (warn of, instigate terror with) Happy Fucking Holiday Season RHU!

It seems 'tis already the season to be grumpy. Customer Service Slave paged me this morning.  She said the guy on the phone was cussing at her and when she asked what it was about (because she is kind enough to do that when somebody asks for a manager) he said "Garble garble I'll serve papers on you right now!"  

How could this not be a fun phone call?

So I greeted him and asked how I could serve him on this fine autumn morning.  Or something along those lines.

"Yeah, why are you telling people you aren't honoring the prices in your ad?"

"I wasn't aware we were doing that, what specifically are you referring to?"

We have this funky sale this week, and it includes 2 liters.  But it doesn't include the main brands, Pepsi, Coke, etc.  It's the varieties (root beers, ginger ales, etc.) that are on sale.

The ad does not say "Pepsi and Coke are not included", but it does list four specific varieties "and many more!"  It also pictures several varieties, none of which are the main brands.

"You're the manager, right?"

"Right."

"You told three people yesterday that you wouldn't honor the price in your ad on two liters."

I know two things.  

1.) I was the only manager yesterday, so this is not a case of mistaken identity, and B.) This is the last day of the sale and I haven't heard a single word from a single soul about 2 liters all week.

"No, I haven't told anybody that."

"Well I have three people ready to testify that you did."

"Well that would be false testimony because I did not."

"This guy is fairly well known in the community..."

So which is it, three people or one well known person?  And for that matter, I went to the hardware store the other day and somebody recognized me from work, so guess what? I can say I'm fairly well known too, jackass.

Eventually I somehow I divined that he was talking about the main brands.

"I'm looking at your ad right here. Your ad says 'and many more'".

"I'm looking at it too. Yes, it says Soda A, Soda B, Soda C, Soda D, and many more.  It also says 'citruses, ales, and root beers.  A, B, C, D, and many more."

"Are you saying Pepsi and Coke aren't included?"

"Yes."

Pause.

"You have a good day." *Click*

Thank you for calling, please take this opportunity to fuck off.

The only logical thing that I can think happened is that three people this guy knows, real or imagined, shopped yesterday, assumed that the main brands were included in the sale, and were informed otherwise.  This poor excuse for a Ralph Naderite took it upon himself to scream "FALSE ADVERTISING!!!" to the heavens, trying to influence me with the threat of bad publicity from "a well known community figure" and got shot down.  I hope he gets the magical 2 liter with a mouse in it and gets catastrophic diarrhea.

Until next time, take a swig for me, and stay classy, RHU!

--Riferous

 

Comments

[NC Tony]

So what exactly was this guy trying to achieve? My head hurts from trying to follow his "logic".

[Karebear]

Just have to say, I love that you went from Point 1 to Point B. Not sure if it was intentional, but it gave me a giggle, and I don't know why. (I must be overly bored at the moment.)

Also, eesh to that guy. I have had similar experiences and usually just say "Ok...see you in court then?"

[DrillBoysGirl]

Ugh. I hear that kind of crap far too much where I work, because people don't read the fine print.

[The Last Archimedean]

My response the second he said anything about suing would be "OK, sir, let me transfer you to our legal department" and I'd do so before he had a chance to say another word.

[Spritzy]

And this is why I hate "select varieties" type sales...cause few people take the time or have the awareness to notice which kinds do or do not count...and with enough weedleing any kind can be misconstrued as one of the select varieties due to unclear or non-specific advertising.
And even if the sale is relativly specific, a lot of people will just see"Item on sale" and not "only type A, B, anc C"

[candieaddict]

I kinda see why they'd be upset if it says "Type A, B, C and many more!" that doesn't necessary say one way or another that main brands aren't included.

That said, serve papers? Wow! I wonder if his people were real or not.

[TechTiger]

When I worked for AOhelL, we regularly got 'threatened' with being sued. One guy claimed he was losing thousands of dollars on ebay because he couldn't get to his auctions. After I stopped laughing, I pointed him to the terms of service that said 'entertainment only' and amounted to the only thing that AOhelL guarantees is that they'll charge you each month. He said he was going to sue, which was the magic word to make himself disappear. We were specifically not allowed to talk to them after that point, and I rattled off the legal department's address and hung up.

I loved that part. :D