Halloween Night Retail Hell: Hellspawn Trick or Treaters Get Told By Queer Geek

Queer Geek Gets a Retail Balls Award for facing off with a mob of demon hellspawn on Halloween night:

Okay RHU, I’ve been labeled many things: asshole, jerk, dumbass, prick. 

Well you can add another name to that list:

CANDY NAZI! 

Allow me to explain.

Ahhh Halloween! The night for kiddies to rot their teeth and gain horrible stomach aches from all the sugary goodness they consumed. 

Well the city decides to host a Halloween Event for the locals and get all the businesses involved which was a cool idea for having something fun and safe for the children.  In turn, it helps generate extra business and everyone wins right?  WRONG!

It was holiday hell for any slave involved.  Sadly, the supposed extra business boost did not bolster increased sales because locals were not in the mood to shop but to get their hyperactive hellspawn out of the house.  Add sugar in the mix and you got a recipe for disaster.

Anyway, I was working Halloween night and since this was my first time handling the event I thought I would be handing some candy to a few kids throughout the night.  In addition, I was expected to sell merchandise, assist customers, and manage the store.

Well, the moment the trick or treating started, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!  It wasn’t a few kids in costumes. 

IT WAS A MOB OF HELLSPAWN DEMONS!

I mean the store was packed!  We had lines out the door full of kids wanting some sweets!  Many of which were blocking our register that we couldn’t ring up paying custys or help them when they asked questions or needed for us to look for stuff.  Adding to the fiasco was the fact that we were understaffed for the event which made it difficult for us to be minding the store, watching for shoplifters, and trying to maintain order.  It was like Hurricane Sandy had hit us!

To matter worse were the ungrateful little bastards acting like shits when were gave them some candy.  By this time, I turned into the CANDY NAZI and began rationing the amount of sweets for each little spawn. 

One in particular really pissed me off.

Me: *hands a few pieces* Here ya go.

Hellspawn: That’s it?  Can I get some more?

Me: Sorry, we got a long line going.  We gotta be fair to the other kids.

Hellspawn: But I like that candy.  Can I have some more please?

Me: *being strict* I’m sorry but you already got some.  Let the others have a chance.

Hellspawn: But you got lots.  I want some more.  I want some more.

Me: *pissed off by this point* Listen kid!  Candy is a privilege not a right.  NOW MOVE!

Hellspawn pouts and finally leaves but then I realize have a few more hours of this shit to deal with. 

During the next three hours, I had entitled parents cutting the line to get some candy for their hellspawn, a few brats bravely reaching in and try to grab the entire chunk out of the bowl, some kiddies returning to our place because all the other businesses had run out of candy, and a few bastards complaining that we were giving out the cheap crap.   

By the last hour of the event, I was over it!  The store was a wreck, real paying custys who could not be serviced left, and my coworkers and I frazzled.  With a bag and half of candy (which was of course the good stuff) left over, I put up the sign on the door that stated: SORRY OUT OF CANDY!  Sure enough the hellspawn took the hint leaving my coworkers some extra good sweets for the next day.  

THE CANDY NAZI HAS GOTTEN HIS REVENGE!  MUHAHAHAHA!

Ugggh RHU!  Halloween used to be my favorite holiday.  Now it’s like Black Friday and Christmas in retail. HELL ON EARTH!

And how was your Halloween?

--Queer Geek

 

Comments

[The Last Archimedean]

It's not much easier handing it out from home, QG.

I paid my GF a visit and tracked the number of kids who came by while she handed out the sweet stuff. She lives on a side street one block long, off the main roads.

SEVENTY-EIGHT kids. On this one little side street. Good thing she'd stocked up on candy.

And I wasn't trying to manage a store at the same time. I feel very sorry for you.

[Queer Geek]

Home is fine but try doing it while you're working. It takes the fun out of everything!

[Skittles]

This is why I hate holidays, except fot the getting together with friends and family. It seems that an ever growing number of people use these days to harass and torment everyone they possibly can with their entitlement and 'family values'.

[Soft Ice Girl]

Poor Queer Geek :(
Hopefully your Candy Nazi candy was delicious, though ;)

[heavy melvanova]

Almost no trick or treating here on LI, we were too busy watching the work crews cut up the fallen trees and praying for the power to come back on. We had ONE bag of candy and didn't even give it all away, maybe 2/3 of it.

[Kiddo]

We never get trick or treaters anymore. Between all the little Fall festivals and the Trunk or Treats the churches run, parents just take their kids there instead.

[CharlieWhiskyMike]

My Kids get a small bag with candy, chocolate and so on and the bag is standing here untouched. I think my husband and me will kill a few sweets and the other will be thrown away. I bet i will be the same with the sweets the hellspawns catched you describe. They will be laying around most will the parents eat them and many many will be thrown away uneaten.

1. What a waste
2. The retail slaves have been tortured for this sweets

[Sales Agent Guy]

I saw the term 'Candy Nazi' and I expected to see something along the lines of, 'NO SWEETS FOR YOU!'

But I digress.

Either way, I'm glad you were able to handle those hellspawn the way you did. I would've lost my mind!

[Luna]

My husband and I usually have a bonfire and give out hot chocolate in little cups instead of candy. Those neighbors that know us gladly accept and warm themselves by the fire. Some innocent kids will take the drink just because they're freezing. Then you get these paranoid strangers that think it's poison even though my husband and I are drinking it and demand candy, to which we reply, "Sorry, this is your treat."

[Toni]

For the last two years I have lived in a very rural area. There are no kids coming to our door. I kind of miss it, but I would be crazy trying to run a store and hand out candy to self entitled brats. May next year be more gentle.

[The Singing Library Clerk]

What the heck happened? There used to be a time when parents flat out told the kids to "take one and that's it. Leave the rest for someone else." Now they just let them demand as much as they want? If I had been that kid my parents would've spanked me then and there and told me how much of an embarrassment I was to them for being an ungrateful brat.

You take one and you say "Thank you" and move on, kids! Parents who don't teach you that fail at life.

[TechTiger]

'Spanked'. Nobody spanks kids anymore, and that's a huge part of the problem. People have been teaching their kids that being an entitled little prick is good. The more you whine, the more you get what you want, which is why you get crusties that demand a manager when they don't get what they want, and if the manager doesn't give it to them, they want a district manager, and so on.

Teaching kids 'don't be a prick' is somehow bad for their developing little minds, so they grow up thinking it's good.

[Daisy]

The mall in my city does trick-or-treating every year, and participating retailers stand in the front of the store and hand out candy as kids march in a line from store to store. The last 3 years, I was working at the popcorn store on Halloween, and I always loved it, but last year...

One kid who was plenty old enough to know better (about 10 or 11) and didn't have his parents with him demanded, "Don't you have the coloured popcorn? I don't like plain." I said, "Sorry, we ran out," and he replied with a scoff and a whine. The smile dropped off my face, I raised my eyebrows, and said, "I think you mean, 'thank you.' You're welcome," and promptly reached past him to give popcorn baggies to the little princesses behind him. All the parents standing nearby were staring at me in awe, and you can bet their kids were all super-polite and gracious!

[Char]

Trick or Treat was delayed due to Sandy, and it was last night in my best friend's town.

You'd be surprised. Despite the cold, the kids were great! We had a lot of candy, and wanted kids to take TWO. Most kids were AMAZED at getting TWO!

But I've seen brats at the flea market. And my other good friend has a terrible 6 year old niece that is SPOILED (lays claim to everything and screams when she doesn't get it. Even got a big pile of gifts at her BROTHER'S 1st birthday. And heaven forbid the cookie dough incident)

We need to bring back Krampus, plain and simple.

[Nocturnesthesia]

I didn't have to hand out candy since I live in the kind of neighborhood that people don't let their kids Trick-or-Treat in. Most of the mall kids I saw were polite, or only a few months old and the parents want an excuse to show off Junior's awesome homemade superhero costume.