Heads Up RHU, this one's a doozie of an entitled, assholic douche!
The Irvine Chamber of Commerce and Costco's Irvine Spectrum location will have a special ceremony on Thursday, Nov. 16 to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the store at 115 Technology West.
The public is welcome from 9 to 10 a.m.; a ribbon cutting is scheduled for 9:30 a.m.
Seeing this calendar item from the Irvine Chamber reminded me that I wanted to write about Costco.
I have a Costco membership and go a few times per year. However, I am not an avid discount warehouse shopper like a lot of other people I know.
Specifically, I do not appreciate being asked to show my card on entry and then my receipt upon exiting. In fact, I ignore these requests every time. Anyone who has been with me on a Costco run is either entirely amused or very embarrassed by my behavior.
It all starts as I take several sanitary wipes from the dispenser at the entry door so I can sanitize the handle of the cart. (Studies show that shopping cart handles are home to everything from the common cold virus to microscopic particles of fecal matter.)
Then I push my cart, with purpose, through the entry threshold. This is usually when a card checker says, "Sir, I need to see your card." I ignore him or her and press forward.
With two or three more attempts at getting my attention, and with escalating decibels of "Sir!" being shouted, another member will usually tap me on the shoulder to let me know the card checker needs to speak with me.
I thank them politely but continue on my way. The member, who thinks they were being helpful, oftentimes acts befuddled and gives the impression of feeling slighted that I didn't hurry back like a good little sheep would do.
Once I am in the store, no one bothers me. I make my way through the aisles, filling my cart as all the other shoppers do until I am uneasy about having enough money to cover the cost of what I am buying.
After checking out, I deliberately leave the receipt at the register. Sometimes the assistant to the checker will hurriedly bring it to me. I refuse it. This is an important step in the process of keeping the honor of free people everywhere.
After paying, I head for the exit and once through the bottleneck created by the receipt checkers, I just push my cart forward and proceed to my car.
This is when things get fun. Costco's policy of checking your receipt before you leave is, to me, unacceptable. And therefore I will not adhere to it.
There is a good chance I will lose my membership over this column, but I am OK with that because I feel like it will give aid and comfort to other receipt checker dodgers and perhaps start a movement that will overwhelm the system and break Costco's idiotic policy.
They claim it is as much for your protection as it is for theirs. This is ridiculous. Other than perhaps a candy bar when I was 10, I have never stolen anything. So don't treat me like a criminal.
Getting out of Costco without showing your receipt is much more dramatic than entering without showing your card. Upon exiting, the staff will follow you or send security after you.
I know my rights though. Once I paid for it, I get to leave. You can't hold me hostage.
If you want to join me on this little effort, know full well that you are within the law and any attempt to physically stop you is not only wrong but likely either false imprisonment or assault or some other crime that Costco doesn't want its employees charged with.
Frankly sir, you should be ashamed of yourself. It's immature brats like you that make websites like RetailHellUnderground.com and NotAlwaysRight.com necessary for us poor workers to vent. You owe the people of CostCo a HUGE appology. If you're a real man you would do that and then never darken their doorway again. Your parents did a horrible job raising you.