I happened to work at an adult novelty shop chain (think: adult toys, lingerie, movies) and for those of you that have never worked at a shop like that... it sucks worse than regular retail. Not only do you get entitled custys, but we also had to deal with some of the most disgusting things while being paid bare minimum wage. A few examples:
1. We usually had a sales competition going on in between the employees at any given point. BESIDES the fact that no one ever won anything, I usually pulled to the top sales week because, well, you find strange talents in strange places. Mine was selling plastic dicks.
There was a regular that would come in about every two weeks and buy about $600 worth of toys for him and his woman. I guess being nice to him (gotta get those sales!) made him think I was interested... because he started showing up, parking, and waiting until he made sure that I was working to come in. He started calling the store when I was working and then hanging up. Calling. Hanging up. Calling. Hanging up. My manager had warned him to stop or he would get banned. He finally got banned when he whipped out his cell phone for me to play 'identify this toy I saw online.' And it was him and his woman in a compromising position. Nothing quite like seeing a 300+ lbs good 'ole boy and his similarly large wife stark naked.
There is not enough eyebleach in the world.
2. We rented movies out and I'm sure I don't have to tell you the condition some of them came back in. Generally, we warned the customers that next time they would have to pay for the entirety of the movie if it came in with lube/etc. on it again. I have had people literally scream into my face that I must have put that there and that it was 'something in their pocket' when, uh, no, it was on the INSIDE of the case. Quit being disgusting and return your movie cleaned.
ATTENTION PREVIOUS CUSTYS: We did NOT put those months of late fees on your accounts. You literally did not return 'Big Booty Bitches 4' for all those months. It also makes you look like a jackass when you say you've returned the movie and scream at the underpaid porn shop worker that they must've lost it, then come back a week later and slam the movie down on the counter.
3. I can't tell you how many times people actually tried to return toys. You read that right. I have all kinds of excuses ranging from 'I don't like the color anymore.' when they've had it for 3 weeks to 'the beads aren't long enough to...'
Besides the fact that it's against federal law to return things that have been used... uhm, EWW. What the actual fuck? I can understand trying to return a lingerie top that doesn't fit you, but toys?? Also, it doesn't fool anyone when a customer buys a stack of movies and then takes it home, and then comes back in three hours to return them. I know that they copied the dvds. I'm not stupid.
4. There was a scam going around the last Christmas season that I worked which, I will admit, did get me. Customers come in, usually in a pair, pay for something small (or ask for change) and then, since our counter is unbelievably high, take the money in their hands where you can't see it, 'count it,' and say they were given the wrong change.
The first time it worked on me. I was young and naive, what can I say? I gave them $10 because they said I only gave them a $10 when their change was a $20. Lo and behold, I was ten dollars short on my drawer that night. I got written up for it and trained on how to handle it next time.
Christmas Eve we were still open and they pulled into the snowy parking lot in their beat up pick up truck. This time they didn't even bother to turn off the truck! At first I didn't recognize them since the old man was the one that ripped me off to begin with, but this time he came with a man and a woman- both wearing similarly stained white t-shirts. I kept a close eye on all of them because we got a lot of thefts around the Christmas season. They all kind of just milled around for a bit, did not really look at anything just made a loop in the store- at which point the old man left to get into the truck and the other two approached my counter. They asked for change for (large amount) and I give it to them. They do the same thing the older gent did previously and take the money where I can't see it, and this time claim that I did not give them something like $40.
As per my manager's training, I tell the gentleman that I am sorry- that means that I will have to count my drawer and, if I am over my mark, I will give them their correct change.
The two look at each other and the man asks "Well how long will that take?"
I reply with, "5 minutes."
At this point they know they have been caught and he gets into my face screaming that they don't have that kind of time. He snatches his 'incorrect change' out of my hand, and launches a container of lube at my head screaming "MERRY F*CKIN CHRISTMAS" and they take off, peeling out of the parking lot.
I did count my drawer after they left; the drawer was even.
Thank you for reading! You guys keep your heads up, it does get better! I think that all my karma from being a retail slave must have paid off, because now I work for an awesome company.