The Holier-Than-Thou's Have Begun

--------------------------------------------------------------

This is going around Facebook, and it irks me to no end because I've had Crustys give me this rant while holding up a line just to get their point across. So here's my response, and it's still nicer than what I wanted to say at the time:

A holiday is a day fixed by law or custom on which ordinary business is suspended in commemoration of some event or in honor of some person. So, yes, actually, Christmas is a holiday, as is Thanksgiving and Easter. We say "happy holidays" in retail because we don't know which holiday you celebrate and there are several celebrations that take place in the same month. How am I supposed to know whether you are Jewish or Christian? Should I assume that because you're black that you celebrate Kwanzaa, while completely disregarding the fact that you may, in fact have been raised Catholic?

You wouldn't appreciate it if I asked you your religion first, and a lot of people get angry at us if we are mistaken enough to assume that you celebrate Christmas instead of some other holiday. You claim to 'respect' other holidays, yet you are offended because we are trying to open our minds to all holidays by wishing you well, no matter the holiday you celebrate. Please stop sneering at us for that, as we cannot win no matter which holiday we bless you on.

And while yes, corporations need to include more celebrations in their decorating and celebrating another year of corporate greed, retail workers say "happy holidays" because it sounds nicer than "happy what-ever-the-fuck-you-celebrate."

Comments

[Soft Ice Girl]

I honestly don´t think that this text refers to retail, but rather to neighbours and people you actually know, because some people tend to be all "hey, you shouldn´t say Christmas, what about other people?".
Of course, I absolutely feel with you concerning these mouthbreathers who stink up the place with their moanings about "holidays" instead of "Christmas".
Luckily, here in Germany we don´t have that problem. the vast majority is christian, so we all say "Frohe Weihnachten"- if you happen to say so to a Muslim or Atheist, they just say so without being insulted and you go "oh, then have nice free days and have a happy new year!". No problem.

[LegendaryOdin]

^This is one of many reasons I want to move to Germany T_T Of course, anyone who gives me this rant I just smile and reply, "Yeah! And it's Osiris' birthday too! And a bunch of other deities so...woo!"

*Muscle Man voice* "You know who else was born on December 25th, had three symbols and were born near a symbolic star? HALF THE WORLDS DEITY FIGURES > : D "

[Hiedi]

I say Happy Holidays. Mainly because I have a lot of friends who celebrate Kwanza, plus some Muslim, Jewish and Sikih Friends who are almost always celebrating something or other this time of the year. I was raised Lutheran, Hubby raised Mormon (since left the faith) and we attend a Unitarian church with our kids. And let me to tell you, I kid you not when I say we celebrate everything. Yes, everything. One year we literately celebrated Rosh Hashanah, Eid al-Fit, and the Celebration of the Guru Granth Sahib on the same night. So happy holidays works best for me.

[insanecashier]

Where I work, you can say Happy Holidays, or you can say Merry Christmas, or you can say Happy Hannaukh, whatever. I always say Merry Christmas (haven't started it yet this year. I absolutely refuse to acknowledge anything Christmas related until December 1st. I even go out of my way to avoid hearing Christmas Music, and I try to keep my eyes away from looking at houses when driving in my neighborhood at night).

Anyways, I look at it this way: What's more offensive?
A. Being told that someone may find the name of the holiday you celebrate offensive?
or
B. Being wished a happy (insert holiday you don't celebrate here)?

I'm Christian, but I'm not going to get offended if someone wishes me a Happy Ramadan or a Happy Hannaukh. I'll take it as a gesture of good will and friendliness.

[insanecashier]

Sorry, I meant Kwanza, not Ramadan.

[Framer-Fatal]

I say Happy Holidays. If someone gives me a look I apologize and wish them a Good Festivus.
Because I'm not allowed to say "Merry Go Fuck Yourself."

[AvidReader]

When I worked in retail, I always said Happy Holidays to people. The only time I said anything different was when they would specify first.
I do think it's silly for some things to be referred to as "Holiday [insert item]" (though I certainly wouldn't fuss about it to some poor unsuspecting slave). Christmas trees, for example. To my knowledge, the only holiday that uses them is Christmas. You don't see us calling the Menorah a "Holiday Candlestick", so lets keep Christmas Trees.

[Larry Berry]

"Christmas trees, for example. To my knowledge, the only holiday that uses them is Christmas."

Well technically they're pagan trees coopted for Christmas, so calling them Christmas trees is more an offense than not "keeping" them christmas trees. If you can take the pagan ritual symbol and call it a Christmas tree (and then insist that it is) I can just as readily call it Satan's tree.

[lamer]

I say mele kalikimaka. In the past I said happy holidays. My excuse? Merry Christmas and a happy new year is too long. If people throw fits, then I say it another language. :-D Feliz Navidad!!

[photoslave]

I'd like to wish people a happy "Grianstad an Gheimhridh" just so I can see their WTF faces. (By the way, that is something I will celebrate with my Neo Druid friends this year.)

[NC Tony]

I say Merry Christmas because it's what I've always said, and if people get offended because I didn't say Happy Holidays, that's their problem, not mine.

However, ever since The Mighty Thrognar showed up. I think we should wish each other (retail slaves that is) a Merry Throgmas!

[Skittles]

Just get one of those fake grenades and hide it behind the counter, then whenever this comes up, pull out scream that you can't take it anymore pull the pin and set it on the counter. Sure you might get fired or go to jail but the look on that self righteous pricks face will be awesome!

[Michael Chandra]

We actually always say "happy " here, since Christmas and New Years Eve are that. Well technically the word here literally translates to party days, but you get the point. The term itself isn't tied to any kind of religion. Yet even here people now say happy days, out of bull P.C. >_> Still, merry holidays, what's wrong with that term? You got multiple days, both Christmas/whatever and New Years Eve, and Christmas IS a holiday. -_-

[perky]

I just say have a nice day or have a lovely afternoon, or have good evening year around. They can just shove it if they don't like it.

[Nomnom]

Larry Berry? Don't be ridiculous. They are Christmas trees now, so get over it.

Besides I think the only time I would hear it called "holiday tree" (or even "holiday candlestick" - that made me laugh) is in video games. I'm thinking specifically of games like Animal Crossing and Harvest Moon - where they try really hard to put in American holidays but can't come out and say Fireworks Day is totally the 4th of July.

[RetailBird]

I wish everyone a happy holiday, because we don't walk around with signs shouting our religion or lack thereof. I very rarely get any grief from atheists about it as most recognize the well meant sentiment behind it.

The problem lies in entitled, holier than thou bug-eyed Christian B!tchs (real Christians, you know, the sort that actually follow the teachings of Christ and care about the less fortunate, tend to have no problem).

When they give me the stank-eye I smile sweetly and wish them a very Blessed Solstice. It's fun to watch their heads explode.

[Larry Berry]

Nope they're Hanukkah trees now (or Holiday trees), so get over it. Don't be ridiculous! Seriously, how is one holiday able to take something over and another isn't? If Christmas is able to take a pagan ritual and make it their own, you can't claim exclusivity, another religion or holiday can equally also take it. If Christmas can take the tree worship as their own to entice the pagans over, then Hanukkah can take it to entice the Christians over to their side. Or just for fun.

The funny thing is that "Happy Holidays" wasn't even started to be inclusive (or not offensive) of Hanukkah, Kwanza, etc. It was to cover Christmas, New Years, the holiday season (12 days of Christmas).

[The Last Archimedean]

I personally prefer to celebrate Beethoven's birthday. :)

[Shywriter]

My mom is one of these people. She thinks 'happy holidays' is taking away what Christmas really means. I asked her how Jewish people might feel about the fact that my store has a tiny Hanukkah section and then hear 'Merry Christmas' as they leave, and she said "At least they have a section." She also finds it offensive that non-religious people celebrate 'Christmas' just with Santa and presents.

[Hellbound Alleee]

Yeah, how dare we pluralize and encompass all holidays with one word! The nerve!

Come to think of it, maybe if we put a fucking Jesus in every store with a big grin pointing out the great price on chicken stock, those people will shut the hell up about it.

[TechChewToy]

I say Happy Holidays.

I've had one client ask me, with a smug little grin, "Don't you mean -MERRY CHRISTMAS-?"

I said, "No." Smiled back politely, and walked back into the back of the clinic.

It all goes back to that thing that gets brought up anytime religion gets brought up here- "It's great to have religious belief, but it's kind of like a penis. Be proud of it, but don't wave it around in people's faces and don't try to shove it down people's throats."

[v]

People should say what they want *and* not bitch about what gets said to them.

Seriously, it's not rocket science.

[Chicajojobe]

As Jon Stewart pointed out: Christmas is supposed to be a birthday. Christ wasn't actually born in December, but that's a separate issue, it's still the celebration of birthday. Therefore, you say "Merry Christmas" on December 25th, Christmas, not every day during the month.
Saying "Happy Holidays" all days before and after that means Christmas and New Years if you celebrate Christmas, and Holiday of Choice and New Years if you celebrate something else.

So I will be saying 'Happy Holidays' in lieu of 'Go Fuck Yourself'

[Daisy]

I'm so glad I've never had this problem. I just say "Merry Christmas," because it is, and I've never had anyone upset by it. If they ever were, I would just say, "Well, have a very nice regular day then!" :) (Or whatever they celebrate, if they specified.) I don't understand why people on either side of the fence get so offended.

Personally, I don't celebrate New Year's (what? I think it's a stupid holiday!), but if someone says "Happy New Year's!" I smile politely and say "Thanks, you too." Like a normal human being.