Dashing through the mall
8 PM Thankgiving Day
Through the stores they go
Charging all the way
Bells on registers ring
Make sure to ring them right
‘Cause angry bitch will pepper spray
Everything in sight!
Jingle bells, shotgun shells
Redneck rampage all the way
Hear the bash, the door doth crash
And then we start to pray
The gate is bent, Security went
To grab riot gear in Bombay!
Oh how we pray that we’ll survive
This curse’d holiday!“I need new batteries!”
“I need to please my bride
Do you think she’d love
The whipsaw hanging by my side?”
“My kids just tipped the tree!
But not MY fault you see!
Nothing broke, but this store’s a joke
So it all should be for free!”
Jingle bells, shotgun shells
Redneck rampage all the way
Hear the bash, the door doth crash
And then we start to pray
The gate is bent, Security went
To grab riot gear in Bombay!
Oh how we pray that we’ll survive
This curse’d holiday!
They go to work each day
Making money left and right
So they all can come down
To kick and scream and fight.
Gushes crazed Gram,
“Sorry you have to work tonight!”
“Well it’s not like I had family
To make my evening bright.”
Where's a reindeer to run over a grandma when you need one?
Posted by: nate | Tuesday, December 11, 2012 at 04:13 PM