THE HOLIDAYS ARE RIDICULOUS (A Retail Parody of Jolly Old Saint Nicholas)
By Queer Geek
The holidays are now ridiculous,
The economy is in a rut;
Greedy corporations exploit their slaves
So to all you retailers: KISS MY BUTT!
Obamacare is coming soon;
Those greedy bastards live in fear,
Companies are cutting hours and benefits
By making slaves work 365 days a year.
Holidays no longer exist;
Slaves must give their last blood and breath,
Family time is frowned upon
The new retirement is now called Death!
Black Friday is now the norm
Mass consumerism is celebrated on what you spent,
As unemployment rises eight percent!
Walmart demolishes union efforts,
J.C. Penney replaces workers with automatons;
Sears and Kmart are closing more stores
While Target cracks the whip and the ownership baton!
High end retail continues to push luxury goods
While that poverty line does not bend,
Hurry up! You Apocalypse of 2012;
And make this rotten world end!