Favorite Crusty "Threats"

I love it when customers try to bully me into giving them what they want by threatening to cancel their orders.

Even if there is a problem on our end, all we'll do is waive our cancellation fee and offer a full refund. We're shipping out 3000+ orders a day--we offer the best customer service we can and if we've made an error we'll do everything we can to make it right. No one here works on commission and no one here will get in trouble because a cranky customer canceled on us.

Their next-favorite useless threat is "I'm going to dispute the charge on my credit card!" Go ahead. I've never once seen that work either, and if you do attempt it you'll waste your own time instead of mine.

Ask to speak to my supervisor? I love that part--it means you're almost done talking to me, and in an hour I can look at your order and enjoy reading over the list of empty threats you made before we canceled your order and blacklisted you.

My company doesn't ask me to take abuse from jerks, and for that reason I work a lot harder to satisfy the customers who ARE reasonable, even when they're justifiably upset.

--Hapax Legomenon

Comments

[The Last Archimedean]

I learned long ago to never have my mouth write a check my body can't cash.

These idiot crustys need to learn from the story of the lion and the bull. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and killed him.

The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

[Vega]

Word on the credit card dispute not doing anything.

Fun facts: When you dispute a charge, it goes to the fraud department. Fraud's sole interest is determining whether or not you authorized the charge (hint: buying something, then getting pissed off at the company and changing your mind doesn't mean you didn't authorize the charge! Who knew?). If you did authorize it, you get advised to contact the merchant because it's officially not the bank's problem.

Bonus fun fact: Any disputed amount is taken off the credit card bill while the investigation is happening. If the charge is determined to not be fraud, it gets added back on with back-interest for however long it was being investigated (or, as I call it, "sweet, sweet justice").