Three Stories For RHU: The Cool Custy, The Coworker Prank and the Drunken Tantrum

Hello, RHU, it's Eve Dallas once again. With a couple of stories I hope will cheer you up. The first one being a little bit odd. Something that happened whilst I was in an establishment that a friend of mine, who shall be called Starbucks as that is where we meet for chats, works in.

This place is a very well known bookstore, and myself, Shepard and his friend Garrus [For obvious reasons] where browsing. I knew Starbucks was at work so I set out to find her. And find her I did, among the stacks, whereby we started chatting. We were interrupted about three times by customers asking for things [It was two weeks before Christmas, so it was understandable] and as she walked away to help yet another customer, I get a tap on my shoulder. Expecting to see either Shepard or Garrus, I am confronted by an old woman of about seventy. She smiles up at me and points at my hat.

Now, my hat is something that only comes out during Winter as it is a Trilby hat and I like the look of it. It looks stylish and suits the long coats I favour during the colder months. This year I decorated it with a fake, red, glittery poinsettia as it is Christmas time afterall.

Slightly bemused at the situation, I smile back. The following conversation ensues.

Old Lady: I like your hat, very clever.

Eve: Thank you, I like it too. It's Christmassy

Old Lady: Never take it off. Never give in to the nay-sayers! Fight the power! Stay a rebel!

Eve: O...k. I will, I promise.

Old Lady: You make sure you do. Never become ordinary!

And with that, she strolls off with a little strut. Shepard has heard the last part of the conversation and adds his weird look to mine.

Shepard: Who was that?

Eve: I don't think I want to know.

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Now, for the promised prank.

Picture the scene. It's about ten o'clock at night. The corridors are silent in the nursing home, everyone asleep. Me and my partner Nadine [after Nadine Furst, because my partner in this is a knockout when she wants to be] have just entered a room to help a resident. I walk to the window, put my back to it as the residents bed is parallel to the window. I don't realise that the top part of the window is open, since the curtains are shut. Nadine stands directly opposite of me, and we both prepare to help the resident.

Halfway through, Nadine looks up to just past my shoulder, pales, screams, and runs out of the room. I turn, look up and scream. 

There is something pushing through the curtains. And it looks like a GODDAMN HAND! I yank the curtain back and shrink into the corner beside the bed, expecting an axe murderer or crazed psychopath. And there, revealed by the light from the room, is Charles, my favourite nurse, pissing himself laughing.

He had gone out for fresh air, heard us, and decided to have some fun. I start giggling, back comes Nadine and we both laugh out of relief. It takes our hearts about an hour to fully calm down once again. To this day I still tease Nadine about how she left me to die at the hands of the 'Curtain monster.'

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Now, finally, for something that happened on a train.

Me and Shepard had just seen the Avengers Assemble movie in 3D in our local Odeon [I say local, it takes half an hour by train. But boy, was it ever worth it.] Unbeknownst to us, the football team of that particular city finished a match at the same time the film was ending, so all the footy supporters living in our area where heading home.

Very drunk, very angry supporters.

The team lost that day. Me and Shepard are not big fans of football. I have always enjoyed figure skating more, and a few other sports. I don't like football mainly because of the fans. They take a game so seriously that its almost a religion, and they will start fights over anything.

We are sat among a particularly quiet group. Until Drunk Blonde starts chatting to Bald Guy. Now, Drunk Blonde has a boyfriend. Said boyfriend is a prissy looking idiot with enough hair gel to make One-Direction squeamish. He shall be called Drunk Child.

Drunk Child takes offence to his girlfriends flirting and starts shouting and swearing at Bald Guy. Bald Guy is not nearly drunk enough to shout or start a fight so he immediately suggests that the guy calm down, and even says that he will leave the carriage with his mates so the situation can calm down. Drunk Child doesn't take kindly to common sense and starts getting into the guys face, really having a go.

Drunk Blonde tries to calm him down by hugging him and, with the help of Drunk Child's mates, drags him off the carriage and to the next one. He is still in sight, and takes advantage of this by GLARING down the carriages at Bald Guy like a five year old denied chocolate. The dude literally stamps his FOOT, crosses his arms and pouts like a child at Bald Guy who is rolling his eyes.

Big mistake, as Drunk Child takes this as an affront to his masculinity and starts FLEXING HIS MUSCLES and putting up his fists like a boxer in a ring.

Eventually, we arrive at our destination and both me and Shepard practically bolt for the car park to Vera, my lovely red car, [props to those who get the reference. If you don't, I won't hold it against you] and we both breathe a sigh of relief as we drive home.

Avengers was amazing, but I could have done without the drama on the way home to be honest.

Anywho, goodbye for now, I am off to keep the city safe once more.

--Eve Dallas

Keeping New York safe in 2061

Comments

[NC Tony]

Sounds to me like Drunk Child was lucky to avoid getting his lights punched out.

[The Last Archimedean]

That prank sounds frightening.

But funny after the fact.

[Eve Dallas]

Trust me, Archimedean, it was goddamn scary. But i still laugh about it, as its rare to get laughs in my place of work.

[Mollywobbles]

This has a name! I call her Vera.

Stay shiny, Eve.

[Sarah Park]

That was quite scary huh? Glad it was only a prank.

[Avilator]

Your car's name is Browncoat approved.

[Queer Geek]

I can so relate to the train incident. Since the train I take to work sometimes has drunken idiots riding it, there is going to be some conflict that ensures.

As for the lady admired your hat, that was a cute story. I love custys who put a little ray of sunshine in a retail worker's day.

[Eve Dallas]

Loving the Firefly fans, Shepard was the one who picked the name after he showed me the show and the movie. I cried when Wash died.

[Damn Yankee]

Eve, who the hell DIDN'T? Especially the people who watched the show too, and were more emotionally invested in the characters!

[Hellbound Alleee]

That old lady sound awesome! She would definitely be someone I would want to get to know. Think about it. She's seventy, so when she came of age, it was the fifties. She lived through a lot, and has probably seen a lot. And here she is, being a non-conformist. I suggest you heed her words, and say Hi next time you see her.

[Mr. Misanthrope]

Firefly, In Death, and Mass Effect references? <3

I'm glad -- surprised, but glad -- that things on the train didn't become more ugly than they did, and thank you for the lightheartedness of the other two posts. Awesome co-workers and dotty customers can make the world a better place.

[Soft Ice Girl]

Wow, the old lady sound AWESOME!!

[Skittles]

The majority of old people rule, they have gotten to the point that they just don't care what they say and are oft times hilariouslly honest.