When Mismanagers And Kiss-Ass Coworkers Team Up

My boss "Miasma," (recent winner of 2012 RHU Douchebag of the Year, against very stiff competition) has become BFFs with a recent hire, the incompetent and insane cashier, "Dyslexa." Weird relationship - on the basis of being a manipulative suck up to the emotionally insecure passive-aggressive store manager "Miasma," "Dyslexa" appointed herself imaginary Assistant Manager.

She doesn't do her own job, but bosses everyone else around. It's created nothing but problems for the rest of the employees, because, basically, there are two sets of rules - company rules, and the ones which "Dyslexa" chooses to follow and "Miasma" enforces in her case. When I talk to her as supervisor, and you have to take my word I speak to her politely and respectfully, "Dyslexa" will just walk away from me, or refuse instructions, saying she only has to listen to "Miasma."

The other day, "Dyslexa" told another supervisor, "Superdoopervisor E" - "I don't have to f***ing listen to you!"

This supervisor complained to "Miasma," who just said, 'Yeah, that kind of swearing has to stop' - and that was the end of it.

"Miasma" is dealing with "Dyslexa's" inability to get along with others by working all of their shifts together. Besides, these two partay gurlz have so much fun together! When they work together, they hang out, shop online for makeup, watch YouTube videos, joke around, and of course gossip and complain about how the rest of us don't do our work. Meanwhile, the two of them are the bitchiest backstabbing micromanagers of other employees. "Dyslexa" always has an excuse, or blames others for things she does wrong - like let a dead hamster rot in a cage on our sales floor for at least two days, when I eventually discovered on my shift when I walked past and noticed the stench of death.

Boss's BFF "Dyslexa" shows up so hung over she can't function, doesn't do animal care, stands around looking out the window for hours, lets customers wait at the register for the privilege of spending their money at our store, messes up register transactions, texts so much on the job that she wears down her battery and has to keep her iPhone plugged in at the register, but, ironically, she is hypercritical of her peers and supervisors. It's not enough for her to say, "Please take care of this;" she has to send someone on a downward shame spiral - :"LOOK AT THIS MESS! This is ri-dic-u-lous. Don't you pay attention to your work? You need to understand that I brought this to 'Miasma's' attention and she is very, very, v e r y disappointed in your performance. What do you think we pay you for?" It's absurd - totally ass-backwards.

I came in today after two merciful days away from this bullshit, having left 'Miasma' to "talk" to her BFF about "stuff." On a fairly busy Saturday, they were hanging out in "Miasma's" office watching "Hansel and Gretel" on YouTube. Then they blasted this really loud and obnoxious music out of the front office, which is right by the cash register area and the front door of the store. If that wasn't bad enough, they were loudly singing along, yelling across the store to each other comments about lyrics, and doing little dance routines. What an adorable pair! They're such cute comical cut ups!

Another employee, "Snake Guy," took me aside today and said, 'This is out of control and has to stop.' He said the day before, when he arrived, they were watching child beauty pageants on YouTube. Manager "Miasma" complained to him about what a terrible job another employee had done, and he said he would do his best to get caught up. He then heard loud music and whooping and woo hoos coming from the front of the store - they were carrying on like it was a party. He said they paged him to come to the front of the store, and asked him what special moves he knew, and he said he really didn't have any. They said, hey, watch what we can do!! - and proceeded to goof off for him by doing head stands and cartwheels. He said there were customers in the store, and in and out the door, and that it was embarrassing. The Store Manager, and the Controversial Cashier Everyone Hates, folks! "Snake Guy" also said he was talking to "Superdoopervisor E" today, and "Miasma" walked by and said, "Less talk, more work, please." Wha? Is she on acid? Does she think we're all on acid and have lost all powers of observation?

I gave "Miasma" weeks to talk to her darling pet, and despite her assurances to correct the serious problems, "Dyslexa" remains a poor performing and insubordinate bully. A week ago, "Superdoopervisor E" went so far as to talk to the owner about "Dyslexa." The owner who knows "E" well and what a superb employee she is (in fact he told me he wants her to become the new manager) - and he is concerned - in fact he said right out "Dyslexa" should be fired - but is waiting to hear what progress she made with trying to get "Miasma" to deal with it on a managerial level before he gets involved.

Here's hoping one of the customers who were in the store when they were doing head stands and cartwheels calls to complain. At this point I feel duty bound to tell the owner about the loud music and the monkeyshines. All the other employees are prepared to complain to the owner at this point, because clearly "Miasma" has an inappropriate relationship with "Dyslexa" which is effecting her judgement.

"Dyslexa" thinks it's good strategery to advance her own career with the company by pissing off all the other employees, and suck up to a manager who is quitting this May. Ooops. Here's hoping both these bitches get fired this week.

--Polo-Necked Strip Mall Monkey

Comments

[Mollywobbles]

Jesus Christ. How these two airheads haven't been fired yet is beyond me. I forget, does your store have security cameras, and if so, does Miasma have access to them? If she does and is deleting incriminating videos, I really truly hope that the two custies who saw her and Dyslexa dancing and whooping it up call to complain. That hopefully ought to be the final nail in their coffin. In the meantime, are you able to schedule any paid vacation time? If you are, for the sake of your sanity, do so very soon.

[CoG]

Ugh, I'm with Molly on this. Take some well-earned vacation time if you can, and if any of the customers so much as frown in their direction, suggest to them that they call the owner to complain. Because as we all know, the workers complaining will get them nowhere, but if a custy does it, that's the end of the line.

[The Last Archimedean]

Maybe you shoukld have a friend pose as a customer, walk in when the two goof-offs are messing around, and then complain to the owner. Better yet, 3 friends at 3 different times.

[Crazy Cashier]

If all the other employees are angered by these two maybe try banding together and talking to the owner all at once. Power in numbers. Also some documentation from each person of specific incidents probably wouldn't hurt either .

[Skittles]

@CoG that's not necessarily true. A while back my co-workers and I all began complaining about my manager, who then got transferred. She should have been fired or demoted but at least none of us have to deal with her, and her new employees have two managers one who is incompetant and one who does okay.

[NC Tony]

I mentioned this on your last post (and it's been mentioned above), to get your friends to come in and then lodge complaints to corporate about these two. Combine that with Crazy Cashier's suggestion of banding together with the other employees and using the numbers game to your advantage, and of course the 3D's.

Honestly though, I think if I was in your shoes I would have been fired for telling the both of them off using the most colorful insults I could dig up from the Big Book Of Insults. I'd be calling down the wrath of the Mighty Thrognar on these two fucknuts. While I would never hit a woman, I have no problem in laying a verbal smackdown on one who deserves it. These two wastes of space deserve it.

[Queer Geek]

I've read your previous posts about Dyslexia and I'm assuming this is a small privately owned business. Anyway, I would definitely have friends come in on three separate occasions witness both the store manager and her employee's behavior and direct the complaint to the owner. No one likes bad reviews and if you want to take it farther (even though I hate the site) have them Yelp their shared experience. Sooner or later, the owner has to see what is really happening in his business. Also, I want to ask is business suffering? If it is, usually the owner would look into who or what is contributing to the problem.

[LaserSpawn]

tony, though they have the required genitalia to be called female, i do not consider those to females at all. i'd totally high five them, in the face, with a sledgehammer.

[Polo-Necked Strip Mall Monkey]

Something else that is quite inappropriate: the two BFFs openly criticize the supervisors and other employees - out in the open, on the sales floor, and in front of customers.

Snake Guy told me he heard Dyslexa criticize me to Miasma, yelling at her from across the store, calling me "stupid" and "mean."

I worked there for over 3 years before Dyslexa came, and had to work with truly tough supervisors. It never occurred to me to not bother to do my assigned tasks, or refuse to do them, let alone go to the boss and tell her I thought the supervisors were stupid and mean. It never occurred to me that all I needed to do was tell my supervisor to "f*** off" if they were getting on my nerves. I would have been fired on the spot. That's how it used to be when rules, and civility, was enforced.

Miasma is too stupid to understand that allowing a low ranking employee cause chaos like this is bad.

Instead of talking to her BFF, all she says is she's "tired of the drama." There wouldn't be drama if her BFF was doing her job and treating her coworkers worse than she does the poor hamsters.

Dyslexa was civil to me for 2 days in a row, which was a major breakthrough, but she still isn't doing her tasks. I will ask Manager Miasma tomorrow if she has been granted permission not to do her tasks....and request that if Dyslexa has a problem with me, that she make her complaint in a professional manner, not yelling across the store how stupid and mean I am.

[PedanticTwit]

So is she 2 and a half and has been drinking too much juice? No adult behaves like that, surely.. Also, please don't hate me, but I must say it: *affecting*. I'm a grammar pedant.