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99 Cent Store Valentine Ad Classic
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Greetings Curious Scroller,
If you've never landed in this part of cyber space before, you have taken a hard, fast plunge into the fiery depths of work hell. RHU is dedicated to giving the service worker a voice. If you are an angry customer, a corporate suite, a homophobic race-hater, and you don't like skull masks or swear words, this blog isn't for you. Click away now, before your ears bleed and your eyes explode.
I'm Freddy, Crypt Keeper of Retail Hell Underground RHU -- a place for service slaves to have a voice, tell their story, support each other, or just have a chuckle about the insanity of working in the 10th Circle of Hell! I'm also the author of "Retail Hell," the funny memoir about life as a handbag sales associate at an upscale department store! The sequel, "Return To The Big Fancy," has just been released in hardcover and e-reader and is available wherever books are sold!
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I'll have to say "no" to the whipped cream. Guys, do you appreciate your women with yeast infections? Into that? No? Then don't put whipped cream anywhere near her vag. It's probably not good for your penis, either.
Posted by: Hellbound Alleee | Thursday, February 14, 2013 at 10:23 AM
Alleee, my first ex-wife [Zeus rest her soul] liked the whipped cream on her breasts. That's a good spot and I liked cleaning it off her with my tongue.
But yeah, nowhere near the reproductive organs. Bad things happen.
Posted by: The Last Archimedean | Thursday, February 14, 2013 at 11:16 AM
The thought of 99 cent store lingerie makes me cringe.I don't know about you, but that just sounds like a whole lot of unsanitary chafing.
Posted by: PirateNinja | Thursday, February 14, 2013 at 11:52 AM
I think the best mix there is the condoms, anti-wrinkle pads, adult diapers, and anti-fungal cream. Now that sounds like a Valentine's party.
Posted by: Jami | Thursday, February 14, 2013 at 11:57 AM
Well. I learned things about some of your that I simply did not want to know!
Posted by: Nomnom | Thursday, February 14, 2013 at 12:00 PM
I like how the condoms (on the right hand side) are right next to the pregnancy test. The condoms on the left hand side are under the Men of Iron pills. They're probably just vitamins but with a name like Men of Iron, they sound like male enhancement pills.
Everything else that's not valentine related looks like they just threw it in the ad to fill up the space.
Posted by: NC Tony | Thursday, February 14, 2013 at 01:42 PM
Seconding the "ewww" factor on the 99 cent lingerie, and I strongly suspect that whoever receives the 99 cent jewelry is probably going to more pissed that they got super cheap jewelry than if they hadn't gotten anything at all.
Posted by: LittleWriter | Thursday, February 14, 2013 at 09:44 PM
I'd rather have the cheap jewelry than the diet tea bags or the Lady Speed Stick.
The condoms though remind me of a story. I was taking a human sexuality class and the teacher was talking about female condoms. She said, "They're not available in America." To which I replied, "Yes they are, I just saw them the other day in the 99 Cents Store." Which is true. I had seen several boxes of female condoms at the check out. I almost picked on up out of curiosity as I had never heard of them and wondered how they worked.
Her reply was, as expected, "I wouldn't buy condoms from the 99 Cents Store!"
I wouldn't mind the plants, however. I seem to always get the best plants and seeds from places like this and Dollar Tree. They grow so much better than the expensive ones from Home Depot or Armstrong.
Posted by: Jami | Friday, February 15, 2013 at 08:57 AM
What exactly is Butt Aid? I'm not sure if it's anal lube or diaper rash cream, it could really go either way.
Posted by: Nocturnesthesia | Saturday, February 16, 2013 at 02:01 AM
@LittleWriter I imagine highschool kids and anyone in a position where they couldn't afford higher priced jewelry would be thrilled with that.
Reminds me of the school project that this girl and I had to buy a couple packages of condoms each for. For some reason she was not okay with me getting a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of chocolate syrup at the same time.
Posted by: Skittles | Sunday, February 17, 2013 at 02:21 AM