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Oh that whiteboard story reminded me of something that happened at my hell job. I should submit it...


The Finding Nemo bit was GOLD man. Damn mindless customers...

Retail Fairy 007

I enjoyed your stories! Please write more!

Also, I couldn't help but laugh at the "Mine! Mine!" part. Oh my goodness, that's hilarious.


If you're not having fun...It's a Job!

I used to reply to questions "Do you have ____?" with, "Yes we do, thanks for asking......right this way." (Had a support manager walking past me at the time turn quickly back in my direction, jaw dropped)

Of course, I wore a jester hat the last 3 years.

And my last night, after the operator made her store closing announcement, I made my announcement over the PA, "Attention shoppers, it is now midnight, and our store is now closed. Please bring your final purchases to the front where our cashiers will happily serve you. At 12:05 we will release the hounds. Our attack dogs, Spike, Killer, and Fluffy, will be happy to chase you out of the store and hunt you down in the parking lot. Have a great night!"

Hellbound Alleee

I can tell you truthfully that my size whatever ass has never attempted to get into a size 6 jean--especially at Old Slavery, where even a jean in my size would most likely disintegrate in the wash. Cheap cheap cheap.


I never was able to get jeans at Old Slavery. They sell sizes 12 and 14 but my ass was always a size 13.

NC Tony

Our attack dogs, Spike, Killer, and Fluffy, will be happy to chase you out of the store and hunt you down in the parking lot. Have a great night!

That reminds me of this:
(From the 2011 Retail Slaves Wish List)
Hounds: So you've made the announcement that your store is closing in 15, 10, 5 minutes. The Stun Doors have kept out the riffraff, and now the store is closed. Final announcement; "Ladies and gentlemen, we are now closed, please take your final purchases to the nearest register or we will release the hounds. Thank you for shopping at The Big Fancy." Hounds will be trained only to chase but not attack custys unless they're provoked. Hounds will also be trained not to attack retail slaves.


That Finding Nemo seagulls bit made me literally laugh out loud. Glad I'm at home alone today.


I love the kind of employees that can joke around it adds character to an other wise bland store and I feel better about spending my money at a place where employees feel safe enough to make jokes.

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