Estella Has A Short Story And A Question

Hello all. I've been a reader of this site (when I have time) for years.

I also used to work retail, but never anything based on tips. I don't have a nickname, but you can call me Estella, because I love Great Expectations. I have a short story and a question.

The story:

My husband, our young son, and I ate at one of our favorite places this past weekend. It's a sit-down place with wait staff, but pretty casual and inexpensive. Our waitress was great, although she seemed a little stressed/annoyed, and I had no issues with her at all.

When the time came to pay, I took the bill up to the register like you do there, and intended to leave a tip on my debit card. I usually try to leave cash, but we'd all recently been sick, and in the chaos, forgot to go to the ATM. The man at the register had also previously come to our table to ask how everything was, and I thought he was a manager, although maybe a new one, since we eat there a lot and know most of the staff at least by sight, and they usually know us, and I had never seen him before.

Anyway, the bill was about twenty dollars, and my foggy brain was trying to figure out the tip. I always tip, and try to leave at least twenty percent, which I thought was the right amount, so I put four dollars. Lately I've been wondering though, so as I was filling it out, I said "I don't even know what's a good tip anymore. Is twenty percent ok?"

He looked at the bill without looking at me and shrugged, then said "Kinda. It'll buy a gallon of gas, I guess."

His tone made it plain what he thought of it, and he frowned the entire time. I had been ready to change it to something higher on his advice, but he didn't say anything else and just handed me my receipt. I felt terrible and I still do. I'm not above tipping more, and I gladly would, but the way this guy acted with me just hit me hard.

Was/am I just being stupid? Should I not eat out unless I can tip at least eight to ten dollars, regardless of how much the bill is? I really don't want to be an asshole out of ignorance. Thanks, guys.

--Estella

Comments

[Jennifer]

$4 is 20% of $20, so you tipped well. You shouldn't have to top $8 - $10 no matter what the bill is. That was very poor customer service on his part, and there's no reason someone should make you feel bad about not tipping enough. It wasn't even a tip for him if he wasn't your server, so it was none of his business anyway. Plus, your server shouldn't have been acting annoyed if she wanted to maximize her tip. Everyone has bad days including service workers, and while it might not have had anything to do with you, it still impacts service and therefore tip amount. You did nothing wrong and gave a good tip!

[Last Server Standing]

As a server myself, I would say 20% would be fine for any check. I can't imagine anyone at our restaurant replying to the question like that, you don't need to feel bad at all.

Personally, I was raised by my dad to leave twice the tax amount of the meal as a tip, though I usually leave closer to 20% of the check now instead after being in the trenches for a few years.

[Nomnom]

I generally tip 15%, so 20% is quite generous IMO. Twice the tax would only be 12% here. I mean for large groups the automatic gratuity is 18%.

[Boho]

That guy is an idiot. An $8-10 tip is fine for a $40-50 bill, but it'd overkill for $20. I pretty much give 20% unless the service is horrible. I hope you didn't punish the waitress for that guy's idiocy, although she didn't seem that great, and just don't patronize the place ever again.

[RoxyRocketeer]

If the tip is less than minimum wage, I believe it's a good rule to pay minimum page as tip. Even if I order a coffee for 2.50 at my cafe, I leave the waitress 7.25 on top of that. This isn't standard, I know, but having friends who get stiffed all the dang time, it helps that they could count on at least one good tip from me.

[Mrs. Lovett]

@RoxyRocketeer, wow that is very generous, and I bet waitstaff just loves you!

@Estella, you tipped very nicely. These days in the United States, 15% is generally considered the minimum polite tip for decent service while 20% and up is considered a reasonable but generous tip. The manager dude was totally out of line to belittle your tip. $4.00 is nothing to scoff at, and remember that your server is receiving that in addition to the hourly wage the restaurant pays her and the tips she receives from any other tables she's serving at the time, which hopefully will add up to a decent wage overall. So just keep doing what you're doing.

[Madrias]

I tend to be rather generous with tips. I respect good service, and my standards of 'good service' are set rather low. To get my "minimum" of 15%, you basically just need to get my food to me done right the first time and hot, and make sure there's at least 1/4 a glass of soda in front of me now and then. I know our local Pizza Hut workers probably don't mind me. I can't seem to go in there without finding myself leaving half the bill as a tip.

In my opinion, you left a respectable tip. 20% is generous. If someone turned their nose up at it, they ought to look back and realize it could have been a no-tip run instead. 20% is still better than nothing, even if 20% comes out to $4.

[Rona]

If I offered %20 tip and someone treated me like that, they'd automatically be getting %10. I don't stiff on tips, but good service means a good tip. A piss poor attitude means less tip.
But of course, the guy wasn't even your server so I really don't get why he was acting so dramatic...

[Rona]

Oh god now I feel stupid for accidentally putting the % mark before the number... It's been a long day, please excuse me. >///>

[The Last Archimedean]

20% is just fine. Thankfully you didn't punish your waitress because the manager was a maroon.

[Retired from Hell]

Here in the Puget Sound/greater Seattle area, 20% is pretty much the standard tip everywhere you tip at all. And Mrs. Lovett -- remember that waitstaff don't even get minimum wage as their bosses expect them to make up the difference with their tips. Which, by the way, they have to share with the busboy in their section and often the hostess as well. It's a hard way to make a living.

[Liquor Lady]

The only time I can think of a 20% tip not being enough is if you go to a bar/restaurant to watch a sporting event. When I used to live in Illinois and had to watch the Packers out or not at all, I'd get a table and stay for the entire 3 or so hours the game was on, with a half hour ahead of schedule so I could get a good seat to see the tvs. Then, depending on how long the game ran, I would tip 40-50% for the simple fact that the server could have turned the table over three times in the amount of time I sat there. If I sat there for three hours and only tipped 20% they would only have received maybe $5 because I never ordered a ton (being in grad school and low on money). That is totally not fair to the server.

[Mrs. Lovett]

@Retired from Hell, unfortunately I know all too well that they don't get minimum wage. That's why I included the "hopefully." My point was simply that a single customer or table should not feel that they alone have to make up the servers' whole wage and she shouldn't be shamed for leaving a 20% tip. I, of course, would never try to discourage someone from leaving more if they so chose, but nothing wrong with 20%, especially when the server was only okay.

[Mollywobbles]

Glad to see some generous tippers here, and even more glad to see a Packer fan from Illinois (I'm looking at you, Liquor Lady lol)!

Estella, that guy was an asshole. If he wasn't your server, he should never have said anything about the tip. Even if he was your server, he shouldn't have said what he did in such a manner. Maybe as a joke, but not all...grumpy. I think it's servers like him that give servers a bad rap with the general public (I know several individuals that outright refuse to tip because they think the waitstaff is just "greedy").

[Copy Center Dude]

I usually do 15-20% for normal service, more if the service is outstanding, usually closer to 30%. The exception is when I am at a restaurant catching up with someone and stay for a long time on just coffee and maybe a dessert, I try to tip at least $5-$8/hr since I know that by tying up the table I am blocking the server from getting tips from other people.

[Chronoc]

I usually do 20%. I prefer to leave the tip in cash, I'll then figure out the tip and round up to the nearest dollar. If I have to use a card I'll figure out the tip and then add on enough to have my total be an even dollar amount.

[Out Of the Biz now]

I have no idea what the percentages are for tipping, that being said, I tip based on service. (And yes I am a former waitress as well). If it's adequate service, I give and adequate tip. If it's fantastic service, I will and have left up to the full check amount for the tip. If it's crappy service, you get a not so stellar tip. Only twice in my life has service been so bad I've not left anything at all. (Slow day, slower service and bad attitudes when meal was wrong).

I do take into account if it's busy or not too, though. If I get adequate service and the waitstaff is running around, I'll give a better tip.

With all that being said, I hate the waa waa of waitstaff. On busy nights at a "family" restaurant a lot of money can be made. And if you're working even 2 tables and they leave you a $4 tip each on top of the check you get, that's more than minimum wage per hour. So one or two asshole tables leave a bad or no tip, quit bitching and be thankful for the other awesome tables who leave a decent to good tip to cover the rest.

[Liquor Lady]

@Mollywobbles: LOL, hate to burst your bubble but I'm a born and raised Wisconsinite. I attended two schools south of the cheddar curtain in Illinois, though. So I come by my Packer fanness honestly, as any good Wisconsin-born child. ;-)

To my sister's everlasting chagrin, however, my college roommate turned me into a Cubs fan. It's not as bad as if she'd made me a Bears fan (I honestly don't think I'd ever be allowed back in my parents' house if that happened), but it's still definitely annoying to her.

[NC Tony]

20% is pretty much what's considered a decent tip, considering how much shit servers go through. Between having to deal with shitty tippers (remember our favorite pastor?), hellspawn, custo-monsters running them ragged, berating them for even the least little thing that goes wrong, the nice customers who leave decent tips can be the rays of sunshine in an otherwise gloomy day of feeding the masses.

[Skittles]

I took a class about hotel restaurant management and the guy who taught it had very firm views on tipping. He figured 15% is for standard service; 10% for okay but not great service; 0 tip for terribe service; and if your inclined due to great service 20% or more. Seams reasonable to me. That kid was just a douche nozzle.

[LSinNW]

You tipped great! That guy was a douche! People sometimes forget that tips are for good service - they are not required. I have worked with many shitty waitresses who wondered why they got such bad tips. And, you don't seem like the kind of crusty who wouldn't tip, because there are just some people out there who won't tip no matter what.
I say great job!

[Mollywobbles]

@Liquor Lady - I've been a Cubs fan my whole life (my grandmother was a Cubs fan, so it was kind of passed down to me). I'm kind of weird - I'm a Packers fan, a Cubs fan and a Bulls fan, and I was born and raised in northern Wisconsin. *shrugs* Oh well, I'm actually glad you corrected me, I was about to (jokingly) call you a FIB!

[Liquor Lady]

@Mollywobbles: Nope, I'm not a FIB (although I married one, lol), I'm a cheesehead all the way. :-D Curious as to what part of Northern Wisconsin. I've spent part of every summer in the area around Eagle River since I can remember. My grandmother grew up up there.

[BeyondTheFail]

Over in the not-so-great state of MI, usually I end up tipping 18% as a general rule, unless the service was stellar, then I boost it up to about 20%. The fact that the person was attempting to guilt you into more than 20%, which is the socially acceptable tip amount and has been for a long time, is rude.