Right now we've got a promotion going on to get any espresso based specialty coffee for $1. We try to promote this but usually people can't resist getting their large double espresso latte in the morning and stomp away with boon in hand.
However, last night during my shift a group of kids come in. They're pretty regular, come in once or twice every day, they order and sit in the corner where I'm not cleaning. It starts out normal, one coming up to check the prices now and again, maybe ordering something and sitting back down, they stay for a good hour and half before this happens.
One of them walks up and let's just call him Idiot, the following exchange happens while he's at my till:
Idiot: Can I have an espresso love?
Screaming Off Key: Sorry?
Idiot: An espresso love, the one for $1
Screaming Off Key: *Apparently clues in* Do you want an Americano, mocha, latte, cappuccino or an espresso shot?
Idiot: No. I just want the espresso love!
Screaming Off Key: But that's not a drink...
He proceeds to walk back to his friends and loudly rant about me being a bitch. One of his other friends then very loudly responds with "You're a fucking idiot!" He proceeds to take Idiot's money and come up to the till and this exchange occurs:
Friend: What is the espresso love?
Screaming Off Key: Well that's actually a play on words, it advertises the specialty coffee drinks for a dollar..
Friend: What kind of drinks can I get?
Screaming Off Key: American, mocha, latte, cappuccino or an espresso shot.
Friend: Well I'll have the cappuccino, do you have flavours?
Screaming Off Key: Yup! We have vanilla, sugar free vanilla and caramel.
Friend: Well put vanilla in it please.
Screaming Off Key: Sure thing, $1.05 please.
After I make the drink and hand it over, he goes back to the table and hits Idiot. Idiot proceeds to complain that maybe I have a crush on his friend or something. They leave after another buys a hot chocolate and I get on with cleaning.
May all your customers have listening skills.
--Screaming Off Key