An office clerk brings a customer to me. An unusual start, certainly, rather than paging me.
Anyway, he starts out, "I was just over at the Deli-ca-tessen (I knew I was in for it when he stretched it out and, oh yeah, didn't just say 'Deli') and I was going to get some meatloaf. Now when she got the container she had to go all the way to the end to get it, is that common practice? Usually the containers are just right there."
My first thought is "How the fuck should I know if that's common practice?", quickly followed by "Wait, if you know the containers are *usually* right there, meaning you have purchased the meatloaf on more than one occasion, then obviously IT IS NOT FUCKING COMMON PRACTICE."
"I don't know, maybe they were out at the counter."
"Ok, whatever, well I wanted to get some meatloaf (we have meatloaf in the the case) and the slices are all the same in there but she was holding them up like this (he indicated tray at about chest level) and was talking over it just drooling, spraying her germs all over it".
Ok, this is at least a semi-valid complaint, especially with the flu as bad as it is. So he says he's going to go find a manager to complain because she apparently said something smart back to him. (To which I am thinking, but not saying, "Is this all your complaint is? She might just be justified.)
Then he says that Bakery Boy, who "I don't know if he's got a thing for the girl or what, but he came out to try to defend her, I guess," and ended up following him the 300 feet or so up to the Service Desk. (Bakery Boy is married, by the way.)
So I find out who the clerks were, we part ways, and I go to the bathroom, which was my intent in the first place.
On my way I pass the store manager, who is getting ready to go, and the security guard. Boss man asks what the deal was, and said that other office clerk had told them that they may want to come to the office when the guy came up there. I just assumed that was because he knew the guy had a complaint. Oh, was I wrong.
After I download some converted Coke Zero, I went over to the Deli. I told the Deli clerk that the correct response to guy was, "I'm sorry, I'll get you another piece". Because, as asinine as the guy seemed to be, it may have fixed the situation then and there.
Then I went to Bakery Boy, and said "Answer me one question and one question only. Why would you follow him all the way to the Service Desk???
At that moment, it all fell into place.
Bakery Boy says that he wanted to make sure he got there without hurting anybody, because he didn't seem to be in his right mind. He said when Nutjob left the Deli he was yelling at other customers and pushing them out of the way and sticking his fingers in his ears saying "I don't want to hear it!" Just generally playing the part of Nutjob to a T.
Wow.
So remember folks, never judge a nut by it's shell, and stay classy, RHU.
--Riferous

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