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Does your handbook say anything about this? If not they can't do a damn thing within their policies. But please don't hold me to that, since mangement seem to make their own rules. Also I'd find out which manger your mom talked to, maybe their higher up than this asshat giving you problems.


When in doubt, go above the manager's head. I'm sure his immediate superior would LOVE to hear what a compassionate and caring person they have working under them.

The Last Archimedean

Talk to the high-up muckety-mucks in the company and see if you can get your incompetent floor manager fired.


Almost the exact same thing happened to me, uncle, high risk surgery and everything. DOCUMENT! When I was unceremoniously let go later on, I was able to get unemployment because of crap like this that they pulled. Get documentation on when you swap shifts with others too, to show it's a common thing. If this happens again, let your manager know you've documented the flexibility of shift-covering, and anything in the handbook about things like bereavement leave, and remind her what rules SHE is breaking. Push back gently but firmly, no one else will stand up for you but you.


agreed. figure out who your mother talked to, and contact them and/or your manager's manager and get this sorted out.

your manager didn't do you a 'favor'. they're trying to guilt and intimidate you for a family loss, which is certainly not ok.

i had two grandparents pass away within 2 month's time. i'm sure it could have looked like i was pulling something, but i made sure to send the obit to my manager just as a cya. the president of our tiny 15-person company had the audacity to suggest that the two bereavement periods were 'favors' that the company had extended to me, despite being clearly detailed in our handbook. talked to my manager, president ended up apologizing for his insensitive comment, and all was well again.


Most corporations would look poorly upon your manager's actions. Retaliating against an employee for having a death in the family is the kind of thing civil suits are made of.

grocery store slave

you are right to kick up a fuss your manager should get fired for their piss poor attitude i was given 5 days off from work when my grandfather passed away and my managers did not act insensitive or poorly they were nice about it

Queer Geek

Document everything and check the company's policy on death in family situations. If it all checks out, go to HR and upper managment to discuss the issue.


Are you in the US? If so, invoke the FMLA

Ginger G

This wouldn't qualify for FMLA. Aunts and uncles aren't considered immediate family members under FMLA unless you live in the same household and are responsible for their care.

heavy melvanova

I lost both my parents suddenly, within 3 months of each other, and had to do a lot of the funeral arrangements myself. Plus we Jews bury within a day or so, so of course I needed time off NOW. My superiors were not happy.

Yes, I know I'm the only person here in this branch and it's a pain to find coverage at the last minute or the branch doesn't open, but I just found my mother unnaturally dead in her kitchen, I'm quite a bit freaked out, and I have a funeral to arrange. I'm NOT coming in for the rest of the week. So sorry.


@heavy melvanova:
i am SO sorry for your loss. you're right, you absolutely need to take care of yourself and other immediate family needs first. a good company will understand that mental health is important, too.

NC Tony

Ok, so not only are customers expecting us to be psychic and expect us to know what they want, management expects us to be psychic and know within a week when someone in our family is going to die? That has got to be one of the most insensitive things I have ever heard. I agree with everyone else who says to kick up a stink, find out who your mother talked to, and if need be go over your manager's head to whoever is next in the chain of command.

When my father died two years ago, I left town with literally one day's notice. I simply went in to work, explained the situation to my store manager and left for two and half weeks. My father was in a medically induced coma at the time and passed away a few days after I had to come back home (there was really nothing more for me to do at the time). However, my store manager understood and arranged with the scheduling manager to use my two personal days and one of my vacation days (out of the ten vacation days I had saved up for the year, so I got paid for those three days, and did not get in any trouble even though I was gone for nearly three weeks). It's too bad your man-ogre wasn't as understanding as mine was.


I don't see how anyone can be that insensitive. If someone close to you dies, than you should be allowed time off.

My first week at work, my nephew died, it was an accident (or so his babysitter says) so I had to call off for the next day I was supposed to work, because I was too upset. I hadn't even met my manager yet, and the first time I met her was to tell her that I was going to be gone the day of the funeral, but everyone understood, that even though he wasn't my immediate family, I still needed that time to be with my family. If your manager can't see that, than he has no soul. Go over his head. there is almost never any way to tell in advanced if someone is going to die.


I feel for you, I really do. One time I couldn't get my birthday off, but I was okay with that. Instead my mom phones without telling me to get it off leading to my embarrassment when my manager came to talk to me.


I had a manager try that when my uncle was dying of leukemia. For 2 days before he died my family and I camped at the hospital just to be by his side when it did happen. I called in, told the scheduling manager exactly what happened and got some time off for bereavement. Then the day before he dies, I get a call from another manager who tells me she's short on people and even though I'm written on schedule as on bereavement, she *needed* me there *now*. (I was working at the Golden Arches at the time. Cause yeah, fries are so much more important than family). I firmly told her my situation and hung up. She showed up at my uncle's funeral a few days later (ironically, she knew my uncle's girlfriend), and then tells me later she didn't believe my story until she saw me at the funeral.


I'm still trying to wrap my head around a manager telling someone they need to give a week notice before someone dies. Even if someone is very seriously ill and is not expected to make it, no one knows just when they are going to die.


Unfortunately a lot of assholes use the "family death" excuse to sleep off hangovers, so legitimate tragedies are met with suspicion. Not that it excuses shabby treatment of employees (especially low paid employees in non-essential jobs) but it definitely contributes.


Yeah Perky that one struck me as particularly tasteless. It pretty obviously implies that they believe she is making the death up.


Disgusting. My co-worker's husband died suddenly (in his 40s) back in September, and she only got 5 days off. She took 2 weeks off and was clearly not ready to come back even then. She came back because she couldn't afford to be off, as he had no life insurance and she was suddenly minus one income. The VIP of our region went to HR and asked if he could donate his PTO time to her so that she could have a bit more time off, and they fucking said no. Assholes. WTF is wrong with these companies nowadays?

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