I had one of those mornings that just serves to amplify my hatred of the foul beasts we refer to as customers. Several inches of snow, canceled inventory, wife problems... If only I had just stayed in bed. So I found myself barely able to contain myself when I encountered another of my pet peeves.
People ask where things are.
I get asked where the peanut butter is at least twice a day since it moved from one end of the store to the other (seven fucking months ago). I know that people are going to ask where something is, it's part of the job. But they don't just ask where something is, do they? Oh no no no. A typical scenario goes like this:
Dumbass Custy: "Can you tell me where the granulated banana powder is?"
Dumbass Custy: "Like you use to make Vietnamese guacamole."
Riferous: "In aisle-"
Dumbass Custy: "I've looked everywhere, and I can't find it."
Riferous: *Pause to see if the chatterbox is quite finished*
Dumbass Custy: "You used to have it over in this aisle, but it's not there any more."
Riferous: "IT'S IN AISLE 6 WITH THE FUCKING HOSE BEAST OINTMENT YOU DAFT CUNT!"
Ok, so the last line is embellished a bit.
The point is, there's a damn good chance that I know what granulated banana powder is. I don't give a fuck if you're making Vietnamese guacamole with oyster sauce or fertilizer bombs, that has no bearing on where the granulated banana powder is located. And I'm the person the employees come to ask when they can't find something, so by the time you finish your first "na" I know what you want and where it is. You've interrupted me once, and I'm obviously trying to answer you, just listen to what I'm saying.
And you've looked EVERYWHERE? EVERY WHERE? You haven't found it so you obviously have not looked in EVERY possible WHERE. That or you 1.) are blind or 2.) are looking for the powdered banana granules instead of granulated banana powder and can't process the words because you lack the ability to realize they are the same goddamn thing.
Then they throw in where it USED TO BE. I've been here for 6 years, I know goddamn well where it used to be, and I still don't give a fuck where it USED TO BE. Why do you think this is useful knowledge? You've been there, you know it's not there, say your goodbyes and get some goddamn closure already! I don't give you directions when you're visiting my town by telling you to turn left where the old schoolhouse USED TO BE, do I? There's a fucking reason for that! It's fucking useless information!
What is wrong with people?
Stay classy RHU!