Normally I get calls from people who want to know where their package is, but occasionally I receive a call that wants me to send a driver to pick up a parcel somewhere.
Now in order to book this pickup the caller can either put this on a business account or on a credit card. Usually this step goes smoothly, but in this story, things obviously did not go quite so well.
Me: Thank you for calling [courier service], my name is Courier Customer Supporter, how can I help you?
Guy: Yeah I need to ship something, send a driver.
Me: Ok, is this going on a credit card or an account?
Guy: The company said they would pay for it
Me: Ok, and did they give you their account number?
Guy: No
Me: Perhaps it is on the packaging label?
(Note: The label is what you stick on your package and tells whoever is handling it, where it came from and where it is going to. Pretty standard right? Well here's where it gets weird)
Guy: What? On the label? I stuck the label on the box already, now I have to rip it off?
Me: No, I'm not asking you to rip off the label sir, I'm just asking you to take a look at it and tell me if there is an account number there.
Guy: *getting agitated* But I taped it on already, if I knew I had to look for an account thingy I wouldn't have taped it on before calling, now you want me to rip it off! I don't want to rip it off and tape it on again!
Me: Sir, I'm not asking you to rip it off, I just want you to read what is on the label
(I really wanted to ask him in what way did he tape the label on that he COULD NOT read it without ripping it off. The point of the label is to give information to others. If they can't READ the label, let alone the person who stuck it on, how is ANYBODY going to know where the package should be going to?)
Guy: BUT THAT MEANS I HAVE TO RIP IT OFF! JUST HOLD ON!
*shuffling in background*
Guy: it doesn't say anything about account here. There's tracking number, then some invoice shit, *keeps rambling on about other numbers*
Me: Is there any way you can ask the company about the account number?"
Guy: No! Look, just book the pickup!
Me: I'm afraid I cannot proceed without an account number.
Guy: FINE! I'll just drop off the package at one of the centers then. Where is the nearest one?
Me: What city are you in?
Guy: [city]
Me: Okay, the nearest center is [city]. Is there anything else I can help you with?
Guy: No, you've been completely unhelpful!!
Me: ...Thank you for calling, goodbye now!
The kicker? When he gets to the center to drop off the box, they're going to ask him the EXACT SAME QUESTION. "What's the account number?"
At least in person they can take the box from him and read the label themselves.
--Courier Customer Supporter
I feel you pain. Sometimes UPS will deliver our shipments to the wrong address and it's a fiasco trying to get them to retrieve the package and resend it to the right custy. I usually tell them to leave the package at their front door and the courier will come and collect if it's a hassle and even then the caller even refuses to do that.
Posted by: Queer Geek | Tuesday, April 30, 2013 at 06:17 PM
I'm the OP of the story here, and I've got a few more stories I could share from that job!
One of the worst things is when the driver tried the wrong address or messed up somehow, I get an angry customer on the phone yelling at me but at the same time saying "I'm not yelling at you, I'm not angry at you" ...and continue ranting and yelling at me anyways.
Posted by: L | Tuesday, April 30, 2013 at 07:20 PM
Yeah, reading is a rare skill.
Apparently, the hardest question I ask at work is "What does the message say?".
The number of people who say "nothing..." when I know it's not true is crazy.
Posted by: Dhamp | Tuesday, April 30, 2013 at 11:26 PM
How do people like this guy function in the world?
Reading seems like such a basic prerequisite for living...
Posted by: The Last Archimedean | Tuesday, April 30, 2013 at 11:44 PM
Apparently not TLA. You wouldn't believe the number of functionally illiterate people out there. Add in lack of common sense and stupidity, and now you know why they need labels warning you not to stop a chainsaw with your penis.
Posted by: Humor_Me | Wednesday, May 01, 2013 at 03:36 AM
Not sure how much help a warning label telling you not to stop the chainsaw with your penis would do if you're functionally illiterate! Remember kids: much like the internet and cell phones, literacy is not a requirement for biological survival! It just helps a lot in modern western society.
Posted by: Nomnom | Wednesday, May 01, 2013 at 05:29 AM
I'd rather leave the stupid warnings to Darwin.
Posted by: Dasfsgf | Wednesday, May 01, 2013 at 01:51 PM
I believe that's where the "sharp" international warning label came from, Nomnom. (j/k) http://www.labelident.com/images/static_content/w57.jpg
Posted by: Humor_Me | Wednesday, May 01, 2013 at 07:31 PM