It's Sales Agent Guy!
I just thought I'd share a few random bits with you fellow retail slaves.
First off, if someone asks you, "Do you work here?"
You can say, "No, I happen to be a cosplayer who is cosplaying as a worker of <store> and I just so happened to get permission from the manager to stand back here!"
Another thing I hate is when customers say, "Are you waiting for me?"
It's one thing if they ask if I'm open, but assuming that I'm waiting for them just really annoys me.
Sometimes I just want to say, "No, I'm standing up here doing nothing as an advanced technique of learning to be patient." or something like, "No, I'm just waiting for whoever is next to be helped, and you happen to be the arrogant customer who thinks that I'm waiting JUST for them!"
And now, I want to share the spotlight with an annoying co-worker I had to deal with, albeit a long time ago.
Before I go on, I used to be a fan of the Mr. Men series of books, and I actually debated calling myself Mister Stoic, since I pretty much have to show little to no emotion on my face when working. But I digress.
EVIL CO-WORKER #1
CODE-NAME: MR. LAZY
Mr. Lazy was a guy who was totally annoying. Every shift, he'd come in late and leave early, and during that time, he'd screw around instead of working most of the time. No matter what it was, he'd find a way to ruin things. For example, we once had a cigarette display where the rule was to only fill it if there were two or less packs in that slot. However, Mr. Lazy would fill EVERY slot regardless of whether or not it needed filling. And if it got full? He'd just add them to the next slot, effectively mixing things up and making things messed up. It really irked me after I finished filling the cigarette display earlier.
Mr. Lazy was also notorious for thinking he had authority over workers younger than him (I was 19 and 20 at the time, he was in his 30s,) and he would always take the returned items and dump them into a cart and then tell me to go take care of them, even if I was supposed to be the first cashier. Sometimes he'd even have me vacuum both parts of the store, even if he was supposed to do one half!
The reason was so he could get on the phone and chat with his buddies. He'd initially ask for permission to make a "quick phone call," then he'd call someone, hang up, then dial again. He'd continue to do this into the night. As time went on, though, he stopped asking permission and just made calls whenever he wanted to. Often times he'd do that and leave long lines at the registers.
While Mr. Lazy also was known for treating me like a child as well as breaking the rules in terms of making purchases, this paled in comparison to what he would do to me. Whenever he didn't want to work a certain shift (they were always until midnight,) he would wait until I was on shift with him, and then he would beg me to work for him.
Even if I said no, he'd continue to beg me until I caved in. At first, it was unfair trades (e.g. I'd do 2 PM to midnight while he'd do 5 PM to midnight,) and he claimed he'd return the favor, but never did. However, it was on December 30th, 1999, that he dropped the straw that broke the camel's back.
It was a nice day, I'd gotten my favorite anime in the mail, and I looked forward to watching it when I got off my 3 PM to 9 PM (standard average shift for me,) work shift that night. Mr. Lazy was working 7 PM to 12 AM, and given that it was December 30th, 1999, everyone was stocking up for Y2K. I was glad that I was getting off in a couple hours when Mr. Lazy came in and, as soon as he saw me, I swear he went to the clipboard to show the shifts of each worker and their breaks.
Because he immediately came up to me and gave me another sob story, this time saying, "I have to get up early tomorrow to drive to New York. Can you please work for me?"
Distance from where I am to NYC (since I later learned he used that story on another person, and claimed he was going to Manhattan for a wedding,) is like 6-8 hours by car. However, I wasn't going to have it, I said no. But he continued to beg me and pester me until I caved in. As a result, I was stuck on a nightmare shift and had to beg my supervisors to give me my extra breaks.
Fortunately, they liked me a lot and took pity on me. But when I got off that night, I decided no more favors for Mr. Lazy, since he'd done nothing but rip me off.
Unfortunately, Mr. Lazy wouldn't have it. Even when the supervisors told him I wasn't going to work for him (and that was after he was caught begging me to work for him because he, "was feeling a little sick, but couldn't get coverage for that night," and needed me to work for him the next day. Give me a break!) He wouldn't have it. He continued to pester me whenever he could, and he would pester other workers who were younger than him. I still can't believe I didn't realize what he was doing sooner.
So you're wondering why he lasted so long? Well, supposedly, there were only a few people who would work the closing shifts, and I was one of them, and so was he. They couldn't afford to lose a closing shift employee, but I still find that hard to believe.
Nevertheless, it doesn't matter. Because he did fall and break his ankle. He was out on paid leave, but he wasn't keeping in touch with the store. His arrogance got the best of him, since the store felt they weren't going to pay him for nothing, and they fired him.
--Sales Agent Guy