Species: fund feuder
Many species of Custy show off their colors and can often be identified by certain behaviors or a distinctive cry that Crustologists can learn through experience and interaction with these common creatures. Any amateur Crustologist can recognize the Discount Rat or the trail of the messy Piggy.
This particular breed is quite unusual and often impossible to identify at the distance. Such rare and elusive beings often go unnoticed, as their camouflage effectively disguises their true nature beneath the appearance of the Common Customer, whose docile nature ensures a quiet, quick and painless transaction in the hectic and often dangerous environment of the Registers. I will attempt to help hopeful Custologists, whether they be fresh faced and curious, or world weary and cynical, to identify this mysterious breed.
First, note that the Fund Feuder never hunts alone. However, also note that the Fund Feuder does not travel in large packs. Keep your eyes peeled for pairs and very rarely, trios.
Second, Fund Feuders tend to be female, and travel with another female, identified by top Crustologists as the Close Friend, or Family Member. This pair will be nearly inseparable during their hunt for items within their environment. They usually work as a close knit team, assisting one another for the duration of their hunt. One may read a list and push the cart while the other fetches the nearest object of desire. They will, at all times, communicate back and forth freely and come to decisions with minimal fuss or wasted time.
Third, the Fund Feuder will tend to appear docile and even friendly while waiting in line. Very little aggression, impatience or otherwise notable behaviors will be apparent while the items are brought up and lined up. It is only when payment is required that the Fund Feuder will show its true colors.
The Close Friend or Family Member will abruptly challenge the authority of her partner by uttering the call "I'll-pay-for-all-of-it."
This is where the close knit partnership between the two will take an abrupt turn for the worse. The offended half of the team with respond immediately with refusal and rebuttal, turning her attention alternately between the startled Retail Slave and her suddenly offensive partner. Sharp calls of "You-will-not!" at her partner and an ever sharper "Don't-take-her-money!" will be fired at the Retail Slave.
The two will immediately turn on one another and have a relatively brief fight as one challenges the dominance of the other. It is always wise to note that the characteristics of this fight, which will include both verbal arguments and low-level physical aggression, are generally minor and almost never result in injuries. The offended partner may wrestle slightly with the offender, and try to grab the Funds from her partner to prevent her from paying, or else grab her partner's wrist and try to force the hand holding the form of payment back.
It is at this point that the wise Retail Slave and budding Crustologist steps back and waits. Whatever the outcome, these mysterious creatures must be allowed to resolve their dispute without interference, lest an unfortunate Slave be caught between the growling, tussling Custies.
Eventually, the dispute will be resolved, and it will once again be safe to continue the transaction, accepting payment from the victor.
Homework: Think back on your history of encounters with the mysterious Fund Feuder and share stories with the class.