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....I think over half of these apply to my job at the Big Orange Box. *Sigh*


Uhhhh... I feel like the statistics for good vs bad customers should be reversed, or at least no so ridiculously over exaggerated. That bad ones are just more memorable (yes, I know it's a joke, but it's also kind of a case of bad attitude affecting how you see work)

Also, working hungover is entirely your own fault. Sorry. Should have planned ahead a little.

One point where I totally agree: Augh, single coverage Dx

The Last Archimedean

#1, #7, #8, #14 and #21 are the the ones that make me want to take a machete to someone.

Joe the Cigar Guy

How about gutless managers who insist YOU toe the line regarding company policy and then give away half the store to crustys?


Huh. Not heard the term "clopen" before but I like it. Snappier than "late-to-early."

I would add a #31: The words "Please wait for assistance," as uttered by the self-service checkout with soul-destroying regularity.

The Last Archimedean

Joe, wasn't that on NC Tony's first wish list -- spines to give to managers?


The one thing I really, really love about my place of employment is that it is difficult to get into upper management/corporate management without working your way up the chain. Our last two company presidents started as baggers when they were 16. Therefore, our store directors and corporate head honchos know what it's like on the ground and while they sometimes have crazy expectations, for the most part (as far as I have seen) they are very understanding about how stores run day to day and don't get too involved with trying to force the issue in ways it shouldn't be forced.


People who shake and/or wave shit at you and expect you to know what the fuck they want.
Also applies to restaurants!

Lady Red

I absolutely love this list,, especially the one about Clopen. We need to make that an official term now for Retail Slaves everywhere. I know 1,4,7,14,15,16,20,and 24 on that list annoy me, and I have to clopen this weekend too.


Loss Prevention Managers have been the bane of my existence, especially at big box stores. "Dude, something went missing when you weren't here. Turn out your pockets!"

Jason Thorn

I did like working the graveyard shift, after the coolers were locked and I could take pleasure in telling halfwits which delusions weren't working for them. "Why, YES, they're locked. NO, this is MORNING / AFTERNOON, not the local after-hours bar. Sure, I'll sell you beer. That'll be $5,022. Five grand for the job loss and legal trouble, 22 for the beer. Not enough? Come back when you have enough."


Had my issues with all of these, but #1 is the #1. I want to beat a child with a live puppy while standing on a nun every time I see people with kids vs. actual parents.


Yeah the working hungover, while I'm not being judgmental is kind of something that's in your control. Working while you're sick, now, that isn't...an it sucks!

What I hated most about working retail was how people progressively get meaner and meaner as Christmas approaches. So much for peace on Earth and good will to men.


And i thought I was original coming up with the clopen term oh well


6 and 10 are my Dad no matter how many times I tell him it isnt funny and they poor cashier has heard it at least a hundred times just that day alone *Facepalm*


I never worried about the lame jokes. I like lame jokes, they're just so punny. Made me forget where I was working for a minute.

Lana Burgess

Great list! lol

31. Being understaffed and being forced to work multiple departments because you are the only one scheduled that night in pets, seasonal, hardware AND health and beauty.

32. Customers who decide to tell you their entire life story when you should be working.

33. If you work night shift: drunk customers who sidle up to you and ask you stupid questions and get aggressive and loud.

34. The horrible music played on the store sound system. There's only so much Rod Stewart, Taylor Swift, Maroon 5, Celine Dion and Carly Rae Jepsen a person can take!

Lana Burgess

35. People who decide to call you by your name because you're wearing a name tag. They always do it passive-aggressively, as if to say, "you don't know my name, but I know yours!"


Wow... I read this cos I was curious as to the worst aspects of retail jobs. By all means quit and come be a Carer in Aged Care or Disability and get paid the same. You wouldn't last a day. When you have a legit reason to complain (like I dunno, a 24hour rotating roster or daily exposure to airborne gastro viruses) get back to me.

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