Hi! Teleslave here again! I'm all the way over in Aus (yes, we speak in old English accents, we ride kangaroo pouches to work (with all the blood and placenta) and drop bears roam our local trees (we also have penguins and about 90% of all poisonous/dangerous shit that's not in the Amazon)). Our population is quite spread out and the average people per square kilometre is 1.8, which would be a decreasing amount if it weren't for the immigrants.
This is usually meaningless info except for the fact I work in a major telephone company's mobile fault department ("I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE AND I HAVE NO RECEPTION!", "That would be, sir, because you are in the middle of no where", "THEN BUILD A TOWER!", keeping in mind it takes about 10 years to plan and build a tower for this certain shithole of a company...). Slave is a very good description as we are literally tied down to each of our work desks by our headphones, and constantly being monitored.
Our floor is pretty good, as is most of the call centres in Australia, however when you outsource about half of the work to overseas companies where they pay them max 50c an hour, maybe they don't feel they need to work as well, or hell, speak english.
Now some of them are very good at their jobs, so much so all I have to do is log a fault with the information they have given me because they have done all the troubleshooting, but there are some things that piss me off. At 5pm billing and sales depts close. Because I generally start at 2pm and go till 10pm I try to take my lunch break at 5~6 or make calls longer at this time because I KNOW what happens.
A Customer calls in at 10 to 5, they don't get paid for overtime, and neither do we, they tell the Customer they are putting them on hold *TRANSFER TO A COMPLETELY UNRELATED DEPT*. NO I CAN NOT LOOK UP YOUR BILL, NO I CANNOT CREDIT YOU, I HAVE NO RECORDS, AND NO I CANNOT PUT YOU BACK TO THE SAME PERSON, LET ALONE THE RIGHT DEPT.
Then there are the other oddballs;
5am start of shift, first call:
5:35am "Welcome to Shithole, this is Teleslave, how can I help you?"
Cust: I... my phones.. *hint of alcohol can be smelled over phone* My phones not working!!
Me: *has got account up* Well I can see that it's a prepaid that hasn't been recharged in a while, and now has been deactivated...
Cust: I NEED TO USE MY PHONE!!
Me: I can't do that from this end, you need to go to the sales dept, but they are unfortunately closed atm, if you call back in 3 hours they will be able to help you"
Cust: Just put me through!!!
Me: I can't sir.. it's 5:30 -A- -M- and the sales is closed, we are only open for emergencies.
Cust: WELL ITS FUCKING 3 AM HERE!!!
Me: ...yes... sir... and... sales is only open from 9am to 5pm....
Cust: THIS ISNT VERY GOOD CUSTOMER SERVICE!!! IM TAKING ALL MY BUSINESS PHONES AWAY TO *competitor* (who is smaller, and dear god if they were open I'd move too, keep in mind also that businesses don't use prepaid generally)
Me: Is there anything else I can help you with sir? (closing line)
Cust: GET MY PHONE WORKING!!!
Me: have a nice day sir.
Cust: yeah... bye... *probably passes out, I hope he doesn't remember it, or maybe I do?*
Another call at a decent hour. (I really don't know why making it 3 am would mean that the sales dept would be open, if anything it was worse...? drunk people..)
Cust: There is a bar on my phone! there was one two days ago, and now there is one again!!!
Me: Okay, *account POWERRRRRR~~!!* Okay I can see the bar, now do you know the password? (you need to do this to make sure they aren't someone else, etc)
Me: (pwd is yyy) Unfornately thats not the password...
Cust: BUT IT WAS YESTERDAY!!!
It turns out the Customer had her account barred by the company accountant, who happened to be her mother in law (there were later found to be notes that the account shouldn't be edited by anyone other than R******, who the Customer guessed put the bar on before I even had the chance to read them) this all the while the Cust was dealing with her father with cancer and her mum with recent surgery (believable as she started breaking down and didn't change the details of her story). So I put her through to my superior etc who was going to deal with it with her superiors etc.
Talk about mother in laws from hell!!
Another call that made me rage hard core!!
Cust: Hi I'm having issues with my sync w my blackberry (AUTOMATICALLY A HARD CALL)
Me: Okay then can you give me your number? *making time to think about next step*
Me: K, just give me a moment.
Cust: You don't sound like you know what's happening.
Me: Okay, can you give me the details of the issue?
Cust: Can you put me through to someone who knows what they are doing? (this stunned me, because even though, yes I had no idea, I was willing to help and I'm goddamn good at bullshitting, and I hadn't even given him a chance to know I didn't know, I'd gone by standard procedure and pulled up his account to make sure he was apart of our area and not some other goddamn complicated dept.)
Me: Sorry sir, I need to get your detai-
Cust: Just put me through to your male superior, im sure HE will know what to do.
Teleslave TRANSFORMS into fatter black woman (have permission from black friend, who he insists I call him black, no I tease him by calling him the longest stream of anti-racist culturally sensitive crap) with waving hand and my constant thought process was going "OH NO HE DIDNT"
You know how you can just TELL with some people? But no, I pursued, stupidly.
Me: SIR, I am here to help you, can you please--
Cust: PUT ME THROUGH TO A MAN WHO KNOWS WHAT HES DOING. *stern angry office person*
Me: *gives up* Okay. *transfer to lvl 1 overseas dept who will take hours to ANSWER the phone.*
I was still stuck as a fat black woman shaking my hand though for hours after though....
I will post more stories more spread out, these are just the couple that piss me off.