I have been recently thinking about a list of things I would tell customers at P-Mart, if it were possible, when I still worked there. It's not a very long list, but it's a few key pointers to customers who don't want to piss off the cashier who is working to process their (sometimes) lengthy order. Here it goes:
1. Yes, I know you're busy. I know you are just buying this prescription food for your dog because it's .50 cents cheaper than what your vet sells, but we cannot sell it to your without a prescription card. Having a scribbled note with your doctor's barely legible signature doesn't count. We have to have a prescription number and an actual card. Throwing a fit at me because you have to go to the back to get one doesn't help your situation any further. It just makes me not want to check you out more.
2. Yes, I know that they changed the prices on the upscale dog food that you buy for your dog so it's healthy. But, because it's healthy, it's going to be expensive. I don't make the prices. No, I am not part of a giant conspiracy to change prices in this store just to make you pay more. Just because you damage the bag on your way to the front, I cannot give you a discount without a manager. No, I am not hiding any coupons in my register that apply to your dog food. If it costs too much, don't buy it. Don't complain to me about it. I can't afford it either, that's why I don't buy it.
3. Please, please do not keep telling me how I need to clean up the dog piss in a certain area when I have a full line of customers or I am helping someone else. I will get to it, I promise. I cannot stop what I am doing because you are disgusted. I am most certainly grossed out by it, too, but can't do anything about it at the moment. Go clean it up yourself if it's such a bother or accost the owner who let their dog do that while knowing there are plenty of clean up stations around the store.
4. I am human. As a human, we all make mistakes. There may be a time during a long shift that I might mess up your order. No, I didn't do it on purpose. Please, just bear with me and I will correct the wrong I made. No, I am not responsible for how fast the manager gets up to the front. No, paging them a third time will not make them come to the front faster. Just realize I am very sorry and be patient for my sake and yours.
5. Just know I am dreading it when you are coming to my line with a cart full of cat food cans that are rolling around everywhere. When you don't put them in order, it's a major bitch. Yes, we have to ring up every type separately. Despite what you think, some might cost different than the 500 others you decided to purchase with your paycheck. Be courteous and organize your cat food orders. We love it when you do that.
6. Finally, slamming the ink pen used to sign credit card receipts into the touch pad will not make it work any better or faster. In fact, the touch pad isn't even programmed to use that pen. Yes, you have to use your fingers and not your nails. Oh you used your long-nailed fingers? Trying using the pad of your finger. Some sort of devilry you say? Then let me answer the questions for you. No, I don't care if you think touch pads are "icky". Don't yell at me if you can use it properly or you rush through the questions so you have to slide your card again. That is your fault.
More to come!