InSecurity again, by demand, I will answer the story about Grandma. She didn't last more than two months. Unfortunately, she decided to move to California to help her daughter with her brand new grand baby.
I shall also tell the story about Bass, and my backpack.
One night, I was in the other building, doing my time-sheet, and shooting the shit with Bass for a little while. Out of the blue, he asks me if there was another guard on campus. I tell him no.
He then says, "Well, I just saw somebody in one of our jackets leave the other building."
I rush over, and behold, somebody had stole my jacket, and my backpack. The backpack had my bored-as-hell-in-the-middle-of-the-night book for when I sat the desk, my writing pad, and worst of all, my lunch!
I book over to where he was seen leaving, and nothing. Nobody seen on the streets, nothing. Then I head back to my building feeling hungry and dejected. Fucker stole my lunch!
Suddenly I hear a commotion over my radio, and it went something like this "*crackle, scuffle* Get *scuffle scratch* over *crackle whine* now!". I then haul ass to his building, and see nothing. I hurry to the smoking patio area, where I see my backpack and jacket lying unceremoniously on the ground, all by itself.
About a minute later, Bass comes back, out of breath. "Fucker got away" he told me in between gulps of air.
Evidently, my stuff was stolen by a homeless guy, who looped around and then went fishing for ends in the ashtray at the other building. Bass saw him, and went out to see what was up.
He went up to the thief, and said, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Now, Mr. Thief, not being the sharpest tool in the shed, when confronted by a guy who's big as hell, decides to take a swing at Bass. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Bass dodged it, and decided to return the favor. He didn't miss, and our esteemed bandit ran like a large, now angry man was after him.
We went back, wrote up a report, and laughed our asses off.
Then I went and enjoyed my lunch. Turkey sandwich with cream-cheese and cranberry sauce!