She comes in every few days to buy a new CleanCig starter kit because, as she claims, every ‘filter’ never works. Of course, what she is calling the ‘filter’ is actually the battery, and what she describes to us is her overcharging it which will cause it to short out and NOT WORK.
When you ask her if maybe it’s the cartridges not working, she yells ‘NO! It’s the ‘filter’! NONE OF THEM EVER WORK!’
She came in the other day and comes up to me. I know at once who this bitch is. She wants a starter kit and proceedes to tell me her life story about it. I’m not really even paying attention at this point. Every time we give this woman a viable solution to her problem, she shoots it down. Clearly, she wants me to bend the laws of physics and space-time to go back in the past and stop her batteries from burning out.
Terah: Well, you could try [other brand] instead. The starter kit is a little more expensive, but I never get any problems with them.
CrazyLady: NO! I don’t like that brand!
Terah: What about the eGo kit? You can have any flavor you want!
CrazyLady: NO! Those are disgusting! I like THIS brand!
Terah: Even though they never work?
CrazyLady: I have spent HUNDREDS and HUNDREDS of dollars on this and they NEVER work! I expect you to stand behind your product!
Terah: [Handing her a receipt for her most recent purchase] Ma’am, we don’t actually produce this product. While I agree that a company should stand behind their product, we just sell it. We provide it to you from a third party and you’ll have to contact them to complain. We never even see any of them, what we sell to you comes from our warehouse.
She sort of calms down and pulls out an opened kit.
CrazyLady: Well, can I get a refund for this?
Terah: Sure, do you have your receipt for it?
SHE THEN PROCEEDS TO PULL OUT THE RECEIPT I JUST GAVE HER AND GIVES IT TO ME!
CrazyLady: Here it is.
CrazyLady: Well, you don’t know that!
Terah: …ma’am [eye twitch] I gave that to you two minutes ago.
CrazyLady: Well maybe it’s the receipt for THIS one! You can’t tell!
At this point my coworkers are staring at us. I’ve gone back to my real accent because I don’t have the mental capability to use the southern accent AND not strangle this bitch.
Terah: … … … it’s date and time stamped.
CrazyLady: Well, I want to use the receipt for the one I just bought to return the old one!
Terah: I’M DONE!
They came out to deal with her and eventually made her leave. She’s tried this shit with us before. We cannot, we canNOT refund a purchase without the ORIGINAL receipt! Lady, if EVERY one you purchase ‘never works’ WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO BUY THEM?! At this point, you’re doing nothing but antagonizing us while we provide you with viable solutions to your problem!
STOP BUYING THAT SPECIFIC BRAND or STOP BOTHERING ME.
I’m half a step away from beating you with a carton of cigarettes.
--Terah The Gas Slave