I work at a gas station. I have sociable coworkers and a thoughtful, well-organized manager, and each workday we join forces to deal with our endless hoard of imbecilic customers, many of whom have confused us with a bank or charity organization.
For example, they might walk in asking for $5 in quarters.
"I'm sorry sir, but I'm only allowed to exchange out $3 worth of quarters at a time. Otherwise it'll clear out my drawer."
The customer then proceeds to exchange their cash for $3 worth of quarters, and then sends two friends in to get $1 in quarters each. You're welcome, jerks.
Or, a customer may come in with a handful of nickels and pennies, drop a beer on the counter, and when they're 23 cents short, plead that they "Come in here all the time!"
Sorry, but if this company gave discounts for not having enough money, I'd spend a lot more time on the other side of the register.
But one of the most ridiculous things that customers do, and this happens quite often, is to demand that we give them change for hundred dollar bills. We have a clearly visible sign on our door that explains that our registers have less than $50 in them, so unless your purchase is substantially greater than that, or perhaps if the person right before you paid in twenties that I haven't had a chance to drop into the safe yet, change for a hundred just isn't happening.
There was one time when a man, presumably in his late thirties, came in and bought some snacks and scratch-off lottery tickets, which tallied his purchase up to $22.43. I told him this figure, to which he whips out good ol' Franklin and hands it over to me.
I handed it back and said, "I'm sorry sir, I don't have change for that, do you have any smaller bills?"
Usually, at this point people either A) give me smaller bills, or B) look sad and disappointed and eventually go away. I am fine with either response, but this man decided to take a completely different approach: rage.
"NEVER IN MY LIFE!" He declared, in a booming voice that instantly informed all the other occupants of the store that they were in the midst of crazy person. "I HAVE ALL THIS MONEY, AND YOU WON'T LET ME SPEND IT. IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME?"
"...That's correct, sir."
Well, there's a first time for everything, and personally I would advise taking that hundred and getting hooked on Phonics, because you could have just read the sign explaining that what you want is impossible.
Let's do the math here: $50 in my register, you've got $100, minus the $22.43, carry the... NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. Mind you, there is a Food Lion IN THE SAME SHOPPING CENTER that would gladly do the exact same transaction for him, give him change, AND charge him less money, but I guess the fifty-metre mosey to the grocery store would be far too much of a burden.
Then he asks me to hold all of his items, so I put his transaction on "suspend" on my register. Then he leaves, comes back, EXPLAINS THAT HE JUST GOT CHANGE AT FOOD LION (???), and finishes his purchase, declaring that this "BETTER NOT HAPPEN NEXT TIME."
Oh sure, sir, we'll change our corporate policy on cash safety, risk getting our brains blown out by robbers, and that way you can pay with hundreds and be a giant problem for us all the time.
As a final note to whoever did this, our trash cans are not designed to hold your discarded lawn mower blade that just cut through the bag and spilled garbage juice all over me.
--Purveyor of Petrol