Me: Man, after hearing Jingle Bells for eight hours a day from November first to Chrismas Eve, I can't stand it anymore...
Her: *happy and chirpy* Oh I LOVE Christmas music! I could sing it year round!
Me: *thinking* Newbie.... just wait... your joy will wither like a flower in the desert and leave nothing, but a smelly, rotting pile of goo behind.
Me: *out loud* Oh. Okay. Have a good day!
Now, I see the happy, chirpy retail slaves who gush about Christmas, and just get that sad, knowing feeling in my gut that says; "Yeah... that won't last... Ahh, how naive I was back then."
My one spot of joy was at my first job ever as Noble Barnes holiday slave in their music department. We had five CD's in the machine, and it would rotate them. The problem? Every CD had a different rendition of the same fucking songs.
After listening to these CDs from mid October to Christmastime, one of the managers nearly snapped.
The door closed behind the last customer, and before the lock could even click, the PA system beeped.
Manager: SOMEBODY PLEASE TURN THAT ... MUSIC OFF!
You know that strangled, silent pause where somebody is trying really hard not to swear? Yeah, I heard that in his voice. In my head I was yelling: "Say it! Say it bitch! Call it 'shit!' Say "fucking shit!" GO ON! CUSS AT IT!
I wanted to laugh out loud, because I wasn't the only one suffering. Instead, I grinned and pulled out somebody's personal Metallica CD and stuck it in.
By the sounds of cheers and clapping, several people had just broken out into relieved tears.
May all your customers be nice,