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Late Night Geek

We've had people come through in boxer shorts. I had a drunk couple completely ignore my pleas to leave the window because they were making out. And the hand massaging, I hate that! Cubbie has used to me to deter her creepers. One continued to pester her to go on a date even though she reiterated that she was happily married.

Honestly, i have no clue I would've done in this situation. I'd either sceam my head off and embarrass the guy or quietly back away to to get a manager.

Dany

I would of embarrassed the fuck out of him. But then again I'm a former correctional officer. I used to have guys show me their willies all the time.

Chicajojobe

@Dany,

Good plan although I kind of suspect that someone who masturbates while going through the drive-thru doesn't embarrass easily.

Dany

You wouldn't think convicted felons would either. But a well placed "My cat's willie is bigger." got them every time.

PirateMouse

I'm surprised nobody said it yet ...

he just wanted a happy meal. *laughs*

I couldn't pass it up.

Ilia

"That looks like a penis only smaller."

"Sorry sir, I didn't bring my microscope to work."

In all seriousness though, my genes are awesome. I've used my own fingernails (they are not pointed, they are rounded) to tear a steak apart, no knife needed. Now imagine what my very dull but very powerful fingernails would have done to him. Also, I have a grip that my own fathers calls "crushing." That man would have gotten a very horrible, very painful shock if he tried that shit with me...

Hyena Girl

Florida Man.
Worst.
Superhero.
Ever.

cashierbtch

he looks way too happy in his mugshot...

The Last Archimedean

Tasing creeps like that should be legal. Then after he's unconscious, push is car to the side and call the cops.

NC Tony

To paraphrase Nash: There is nothing sexy at the drive-thru!

Jaffacakes

Wait, so he doesn't get a public indecency charge? Or a test to make sure he wasn't on all the drugs? Just a minor battery charge? He'll be out in about 2 months, depending on how many offenses he has.

Madrias

Ilia, I'm very similar. I've got a grip that's fairly strong, and sharp fingernails (usually kept jagged because I break them when fixing computers), and a right thumb that if I move it just right, will almost lock in place, keeping my hand from opening.

Although, I'd be the guy who'd want to hit him in the crotch with a 240v mains power line.

Book Baby

I have naturally LONG nails that I keep polished with over SIX coats of polish at ALL times. I actually have a scar on my leg from when I was a teenager. I cut my leg open with my thumbnail when I was horsing around with my sister! Sooo, show me your willie and I will slice it open.

Or, you could go with the public shaming route: "No thanks, I don't smoke"!

QuillWeave

My first instinct would be to grab the nearest thing inside and jab it at him. He could end up with an ice cold soda all over his boys or a pen stabbed through his cheek.

grocery store slave

an insult about his penis would work or dumping something hot on his lap then calling the cops i was told a story in my psychology class about a guy flashing people in a mall when they reached the top of the escalator then running off until he pulled this stunt on a ten year old girl she said i've seen bigger he ran off and mall security was able to catch this guy when they blocked all exits i couldn't stop laughing after hearing this

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