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It could have been worse. One time in my hometown, a kid took a shit in the movie theater.

I slipped in it and nearly fell on it.

I was wearing sandals.

Sales Agent Guy

Seriously, a kid just drops his drawers and leaves a shit in the middle of a store? What the fuck?!


My grandparents passed down the tale of their first time out at a banquet facility with new friends decades ago. As soon as they were seated, everyone noticed a foul odor. Comically, each was afraid to acknowledge the smell, thinking perhaps another had simply badly farted. As they uncomfortably shifted in their seats, the scent got simply too overwhelming to ignore. Finally, someone peeked under the table to discover a scattering of butt nuggets, a few of which had been crushed in the preceding "uncomfortable shifting". My grandfather said their exit from the restaurant was as fast as if someone had shouted, "Fire!"
In this case, being well before the prevelance of people bringing young children out to dinner with them, it was assumed the nuggets were deposited by an elderly patron with loose-fitting underwear. Really not looking forward to aging myself.....

The Singing Library Clerk

Wonder if that was my psycho step-nephew. He eats nothing but noodles and french fries and when he gets constipated his mom gives him Miralax. He's about ten, almost 11, and will poop anywhere, any time, and his mom leaves it for others to clean up. He even did this at Disneyland and often at school.

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