It is with great honor and privilege that we bestow upon you the coveted Retail Balls Award for handling a royal bitch like a pro and for your smooth skills in deflecting the attempted aftermath. Thy retail balls are mighty, and we honor them!
Day after Christmas, a customer comes up with 8 pair of clearance shoes, all pricey athletics so even on clearance the transaction was a big one.
Now, all of our clearance is priced as marked but our in-store promotional signage says "semi annual clearance event, save UP TO 50% off SELECT MERCHANDISE". The stuff in caps, naturally, is printed relatively small on the signage but its still there and can be read just fine even without squinting. It also says on the sign that these items are included in bogo and that the second pair must be of equal or lesser value.
So I begin checking for mates and taking off sensor tags, and she tells me she has a $10 off $75 purchase coupon. A quick mental scan of the shoes tells me she obviously has the minimum so I just said ok and went about checking sizes. I'm barely through checking sizes on the 3rd pair when she says, "How much did they ring up for?"
Me: "I'm not sure ma'am, I haven't started ringing them up yet and I have to ring the coupon last so that will change the price at the end"
Her: "Well they're all supposed to be 50% off plus buy one get one half off"
Me: "No ma'am, if you read the sign (I gesture to the sign)- it clearly says UP TO 50% off on select merchandise. All of our shoes are priced to reflect any discounts and sales other than the bogo, just give me a moment and ill ring it up so that you can see."
Her: "Well that's stupid. You didn't even price check it, and you're telling me this. It sounds like you don't even know, and you don't want me to get the discount!"
Me: "Maam, it doesn't matter what I want or don't want. The register does all of these things automatically. It rings your items to give you the best deal and rings all new markdowns automatically even if we haven't changed the signs. The only time I can change a price is if the sign says that the shoe is cheaper than what it is ringing up for."
Her: "Well hurry up! I ain't got all day! My kids are waiting I the car and I have to get back!"
Me: "Ma'am, you've been in here for over an hour and your kids are in the car?"
Her: "That's what I said, dumbass, now ring this shit up and don't forget my coupon!"
Grinning at this point and almost audibly laughing at her, I excuse myself and have my sales associate call the police that are in the parking lot (they set up a unit for the holidays) to go have a look. I considered kicking her out, but she had about a $180 purchase and we needed the sales to make the day. Besides, I needed to distract her while the cops got to her vehicle.
I finish ringing her up, slowly, and of course she pays by check, the slowest form of payment ever and get her bagged up and she walks out to find the cops waiting at her vehicle. Turns out there was a 4 year old, a 2 year old and an infant in a carrier. The car was not running. There was a big to do, she was arrested and they took the kids away.
She had other bags from Marshals and Target when she was in my store. The cops said that she admitted to having been in those other stores before mine. Logic says that she probably didn't even check on the kids between stores because if she had, she would have dropped off the other bags. What a cunt. Then to just admit it to me after treating me like shit? That was too much for me. I normally would hate to see kids get taken from their parents, but that bitch doesn't deserve to have children.
Cut to today, she tries to bring all of the shoes back. That's when I inform her that after her actions (her kids and the way she treated me) that she wasn't welcome in the store and that I would not be doing her return. She started screaming at me that I BETTER do it, or I'd be sorry. Oh really?
I laughed at her and told her that I called the police on her the first time and if she didn't leave I'd call again. The look on her face was priceless. She left after that though.
That was a late Christmas gift to myself!