Got some snot nosed Bewitch on the phone wanting to cancel her TV. No account #, doesn't know the telephone # on the acct, doesn't even know her postal code (I had to look it up on CanadaPost.com) also has a VERY common first and last name....
Finally find the account on the main system we use when it freezes up - but at least it had loaded far enough for me to see the main acct #. Apologize and tell her it will be a moment because I can't get any further into her acct and will need to close and reload the system.
Bewitch: "Riigghhhttt... That's OK. You can put me on hold while you get someone who actually knows what they're doing to help you."
Me: "Actually, ma'am, I DO know what I'm doing. Unfortunately, because YOU didn't have the requisite information for me to quickly find your account, my Single View has frozen on the search page because the limited information you were able to provide me returned over 100 accts. Because of this, I cannot access your TV account on MultiVu because it is linked into my Single View, which I need to access, to go to the Loyalty Tab to check the status of your contract and see if and how many receivers you have that will need to be returned to us. If I am unable to reactivate my Single View system, I will still be able to honour your request because I was able to at least find your account number for you and would be able to complete your cancellation request through a contingency form on BluePrints."
Bewitch: "Oh..... so your system actually did go down?"
Yes, you dumb bitch! My system went down! Cause you're too stupid to even know your own Postal Code!
Remember, keep your stick on the ice, not upside the custy's head!