So, I have a condition where my ‘monthly visitor’ is more of a ’30 year old living in his mother’s basement’. I'm not kidding when I say my last one lasted about 18 months. We went to the gynecologist a few years ago to try and determine what was causing it, like masses in my uterus or whatnot.
This gynecologist was a fucking BITCH, and when I recounted the following story to a coworker, she knew who I was talking about, and I got a high-five because it seems she’s just a bitch to anyone who has the misfortune of being seen by her.
She goes through the standard list of questions. I’m not shy, RHU, I will answer anything truthfully, no matter what. Doesn’t matter how bad it may embarrass others, I have no shame. We get to the standard question of ‘Are you sexually active’, I respond with ‘No, I’m still a virgin’.
That’s when things get bad.
She yells at me that I need to be honest with her. I was slightly confused at this point.
Terah: I’m… not a fucking unicorn, I’m a virgin. What’s so bad about that?
Then she asks some ‘personal’ questions, like, ‘items involved’.
Terah: There’s too much blood to masturbate. So, no, I don’t.
She glares at me before setting her things down a little too harshly at the end and begins the examination. Things go well until she has to use the probe. It was foreign and uncomfortable and hurt. My natural reaction? ‘OW!’
Doctor: You need to settle down! It’s smaller than a man’s penis!
Terah: Thank you for that, that is very helpful considering I’ve NEVER HAD ONE IN THERE!
Doctor: If you DO NOT relax, I will END this examination! Do you understand?
She turned away to get something and as she turned back I let it go. It didn’t get her full-on in the face, but the look was priceless.
Terah: You said to ‘relax’. I did.
She was nicer to me after that.
--Terah The Gas Slave