PP Staff: So, other than regulating your menstrual cycle, why are you going onto birth control if you're not sexually active?
Me: Well, I'm in a long distance relationship, and my boyfriend is coming to spend two weeks straight with me. So, naturally, I want to be smart.
PP Staff: *frowns, looks blank, then discusses the side effects of the patch*
PP Staff: So why do you want the patch again? You told us you're not currently sexually active.
Me: ... Because... I am in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend will be visiting soon.
PP Staff: *stares at my file, still looking blank*
Me: *thinking* Oh my fucking god, why is she not getting this?!
PP Staff: So you still haven't explained why you want to be on the birth control patch. Is it because you want to regulate your menstrual cycle, and that's it?
Me: Yes, I did tell you why. I told you twice.
PP Staff: And?
Me: *facepalming* My boyfriend is coming to visit.
PP Staff: *She still looks blank* But you're not sexually active?
Me: You know what? I give up. Write whatever the fuck you want in my chart.
PP Staff: I can't write whatever I want, I need an actual reason.
PP Staff: So you want to regulate your menstrual cycle, since you're not sexually active?
Me: Fuck this shit, I'm going to a different Planned Parenthood...
Funnily enough, the other PP caught on the first time I mentioned my boyfriend, and I got my patches right away.
What is even the fuck?! Was I not being clear, or was she just too fucking dense?
May all your PP staff have a brain,