Note: This post uses the c word, if you are offended by the use, please keep scrolling. The custy deserves the title, given what she did at the end of this hellacious retail tale.
From Cake Bitch:
So I have like 10 minutes left of work.
Trying to finish getting the breads packed, because if they are not packed soon, they will get a hard crust. And while we want this with some breads, not all of them are suppose to have a hard crust.
So this cunt come up to the counter with a fully decorated cake from the cake case. It is a 1/4 sheet cake with a spray of yellow roses and rose buds in one corner and a blue trim. She is like, I want this cake (It's the marble cake with chocolate filling) but It's for a man, can you take the roses off? Oh and I do not like the light blue trim, can you take that off and use like a dark blue trim?
What the fuck people? What do they think is holding the trim on the cake? Velcro? Yes I can scrap it all off, but then I will have to re-ice the cake. And depending on how crumbly the cake is, I may have to do a crumb coat and top coat of frosting. All because they want a different color trim--and oh my freaking god, we can not have a man have a cake with flowers on it. Flowers on a cake makes it so girly. And he needs a masculine cake. Really, if his masculinity is threatened by yellow flowers, go by him a steak instead. Or it it is that important to you, pre-order a freaking cake. Do not get mad at me if the cake you want with he exact color trim you want is not in my cake case.
So I tell her that I do not have the time to do that. Her response--can you just pop off the flowers then?
Me: No, they do not just pop off. I will have to scrap off the whole top layer of frosting.
Cunt: But he can not have a cake with flowers on it. It's just girly.
So I show her that we have marble cake with chocolate filling in the cake case, it has a green trim, no flowers, but it is a round cake and not rectangular. Which she will not even consider because blue is his favorite color. And she doesn't have a round cake platter.
So tell her again, that the only other thing I can do is get a cake from the deep freezer and trim it how wants it. But she does not like that ideal because she thinks it will take to long to thaw--no it doesn't, But still to freaking bad, pre-order you cake if you want it exact.
But she will not take no for an answer she ask "but why can you not just cover up the roses then? Just leave the trim if you have to, but put some white frosting over the roses and just smooth it over?"
I'm tell her that will still mess up the trim, I can not just smooth over the roses like that. Finally she suggest, "Well make them into yellow balloons. That will have to do."
I'm like wtf? By now it is time for me to clock out and one of the manger (not a bakery manger) is like--do what ever you need to get her out. So I take the cake in the back and do my best to make the roses and rose buds into balloons. Balloons with thick green ropes (and a few leaves.)
It looked horrid.
I bring it out and she was like, see you can do it.
I finished up my bread and clocked out. The most annoying thing? This morning when I came in, the freaking cake was sitting in my "damaged goods" cart. Apparently the cunt brought it back latter and got her money back.