The last three hires our manager took on were without a doubt the worst people I've had to work with in over 20 years in this business.
The first one-a waitress/host. She came in to apply we told our manager that she seemed like a crack head, and maybe we should pass. Of course, she sets up an interview. When she comes in for the interview, she is dressed in leopard print spandex pants. After the interview, we again plead our case that she seemed like a crack head; that she wouldn't be a good fit and begged her not to hire her.
Our manager said "Oh, but she's not! She's very smart, she'll be a great addition. You'll see, she's starting Monday!"
She lasted about a week before walking out in the middle of a busy Saturday night.
In that week: 1. Smuggled in nips and drank her way through each shift, and kept us all informed about how much she was drinking throughout.
2. Chased a guest out of the restaurant because they left a >15% tip, dragged the back in, and berated the poor lady until she forked over more money.
3. Told me that not only did she fuck with people's food (which is the worst sin a server can commit, to me); but that she and a friend of hers at her last place of business would put suboxone (a controlled narcotic!) in guest's food /bev if they annoyed her.
4. Offered to sell her suboxone to every person on the payroll.
Second hire- a waitress. Filled out the application while out to lunch with her mother, which would be fine but she downed three bottles of hot sake over the 40 minutes she was there plus went out for a smoke twice. While she was out to lunch. With her mother.
I handed over the application to our manager, telling her that this one might not be a good fit because she was getting shit faced with her mother at noon and couldn't get through a 40 minute meal without two cig breaks.
OF COURSE, she was hired. She worked one shift, during which one of our colleagues googled her name and there she was, in all her shit-bag glory in the courthouse section of our local paper. Found guilty of theft, receiving stolen property over $250, and abuse of an elderly family member. Not all the same day or month, but all within the last year.
The colleague told the owner, who terminated her that same day. The hiring manager wasn't there for that termination.
The third is my favorite. A host, an older guy. Nice enough guy, but shows up to the interview with a snot hanging out of his left nostril. OF COURSE, SHE HIRES THE POOR FOOL. He worked one day. Again, he's a nice guy- certainly not a criminal and not a drunk-but just not for us...He spent the whole training shift yelling across the restaurant. He was loud in general- like how when someone is hard of hearing they tend to speak in very loudly. Or like how actors who work in theater need to project to be understood in the back rows.
"KSHEARULES YOU HAVE A TABLE!"
We explained to him several times that sections are assigned and there was no need to communicate to the servers if they had a new party, that we keep our eye on our tables and we'd know if we had anything new, but that didn't stop him. He was unsure of his table numbers- which is to be expected- but every party he sat, he would grab whatever server was closest to them and ask, "NOW WHAT TABLE NUMBER WAS THAT?" while holding the restaurant table number map in his other hand.
He tried to seat a party of three at what might be a two top if it had any chairs at it and didn't have our dehumidifier stashed underneath it, we only use it to lengthen an existing table for large parties.
It was in my section, and I hurried over to stop him- saying to the guests, "I think you'll find this table a little more comfortable for you."
And he yelled "WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE TABLE I WANTED TO PUT THEM AT?"
If any of us had our cell phones out, he would rush up and yell "I WOULDN'T DO THAT IF I WERE YOU! I HEARD THAT MR. C (our owner, 72 years old, from China) DOESN'T LIKE ANYONE ON THEIR PHONE!"
He posted a review on our restaurant fb page (gave us five stars!) from his phone, during his shift.
At one point, I was cashing out a check at the cash desk and he comes up to me, hands me his phone, asks me "CAN YOU TAKE A PICTURE OF ME HOSTING? YOU JUST LOOK THROUGH THE SCREEN AT ME AND PRESS THIS BUTTON."
At the end of lunch (and his tenure at our restaurant) three of us were sitting at the staff table, doing side work. He seats a party of four at the very next table to us (empty restaurant, but let's just seat them right outside the kitchen and next to the servers doing side work because guests really like that).
Host then takes one step over to the three of us, bipps the server who's section it is on the head like he's playing duck duck goose, and yells "JOHN SERVER! YOU HAVE A TABLE RIGHT THERE! IT'S A PARTY OF THREE!"
Poor JS mutters "Thanks, I know," under his breath, and gets up to greet the table.
The table he had just sat next to us got up and left at that moment. They had been there less than three minutes, but between the yelling and where they were sat they just didn't want to stay. I can't blame them.
Mr. C had been lurking about the place for a few hours, watching and listening. He sees before him a loud, bossy, stupid, self-congratulating, know-it-all. After host had retreated back to the front of the restaurant, he comes over to us and sits down.
Says nothing for a minute, then leans in, and says: "I don't know why she hired Donald Trump. He can't work here. He's got to start his new job running the country next Friday. Didn't she know this before she hired him?"
We howled laughing.
Then he added, "This is a business. That table just left because of that hire. Her hires are losing me money, and losing you money. She can't hire anyone else before I talk to the person for five minutes."
I know sometimes the pool of recruits can be pretty scarce, but to pull three horror shows like this in a row is spectacular. Does anyone else have a HR manager like this? I'd like to know we're not alone....