Welcome to Retail Hell Underground!
RHU bitches!
If you've just found our blog by random and you're like what the fuck are these people doing in skull masks, we added this "About" page to further explain our madness.
You see, we are all three just Retail Slaves, slaving away in various different facets of the retail industry. Throughout our friendship we have done a lot of ranting and raving about our retail positions. Freddy has even written a retail memoir and a soon to be published Retail Hell Survival Guide.
The Retail Hell Underground started as sort of a platform for that book, but it has become more than that since it's 2007 October birth. There are over 30 million people working in retail in the U.S. and that doesn't even include other Sales and Customer Service positions like food serving and real estate. We also formed RHU because there didn't seem to be any other networking place where people could let loose about being a Retail Slave.
Which brings us to the next question: Why the fucking skull masks?
We'll tell you why. If we used our real faces and names to blog or vlog about Retail Hell, the stores we work for would fire us faster than we can say, "but, I never mentioned the company's name, I swear!"
We've gone underground as skullhead characters to be able to say what whatever the fuck we want. The look is fitting considering a day of Retail Hell can actually make you look just like that. Our RHU names were chosen from famous horror movies: Freddy -Nightmare on Elm Street, Jason - Friday the 13th, and Carolanne - Poltergeist. We are all three big horror fans and as our concept grew, we realized slasher monster movies were not that much different from a day of Retail Hell.
The three of us are also full on Retail Sluts (you need to click back and read our Retail Hell Definitions on the side bar if you don't know what a Retail Slut is - it's not someone who gives free blow jobs in a fitting room), but make no mistake Retail Hell Underground is for everyone; Sluts, Whores, and Droids a like. Whether you love retail, hate it, or you're numb over it, there are days where it can crawl up into your ass and make your life a living Retail Hell!
And we believe the best medicine for those ass monster days is laughter! RHU is all about warping, satirizing, bitching, venting, ranting, and mocking every aspect of retailing, service, customers, sales, and management. Rather than letting Retail Hell get the best of us we are making it our bitch!
We are here to have fun and hope you do as well.
Join the Retail Hell Underground Army by becoming our friend on Myspace:
www.myspace.com/retailhellunderground
Or simply bookmark RHU as your favorite. We put freshly killed retail content shit up everyday, so you'll always find something new. Stumble us, Digg us, Technorati us, Humor-Blog us, throw us into the air and rock and roll us!
We are also in the process of working on Retail Hell Underground YouTube videos so you will get our jaded advice and warped antics live. Let's just say Jason can hump the floor like nobody's business, Carolanne loves the trampoline, and Freddy can choke himself with his tie in 20 different ways.
This is a total interactive site. We want to hear from you! Leave comments about your past or present Retail Hell nightmares, and feel free to send us pics or stories. You can get us at retailhell@flash.net
And remember...
Just breath...it's only Retail Hell. Sometimes it can suck so bad it's funny.
Have a retailicious hell-free day!
Carolanne, Jason, and Freddy
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