This story was originally posted on: July 23, 2009
Sometimes showing your Retail Balls doesn't always involve putting a naughty custy in their place. Sometimes you can teach them a lesson by doing a good deed. Seraph, a former Cinema Slave from Toronto did just that:
I worked for a year at a busy downtown cinema in Toronto, and there were several guests whom I learned to recognize as they returned, some two or three times a week.
One of them was an impressively overweight lady who needed help to move, and was usually perched atop an enormous scooter-type vehicle, which had nearly enough junk piled on it to be an RV.
The first time I encountered her, she had just come out of one of the theatres where someone had vomited on the floor just after the cleaning crew had been through, so there was no way the staff could have known about it, but apparently it was my fault. I was on washroom duty, and all I did for the entire shift was walk in a circuit between the four washrooms and clean them every half hour. But she saw me as an employee, and attacked.
She backed me up against a wall with her land-boat and berated me for several minutes about how I, and I specifically, was horrible and stupid for allowing people to go into a theatre where someone had vomited, and that the movie (which had not yet started) was ruined for her now. That she wanted me to move the movie to a different, clean theatre so she could watch it there, and refused to believe or understand that I could not do that... until I saw a manager walking past and waved her over so I could scuttle off like a cockroach. For which I'm sure the manager loved me.
But the funny part occurred about two weeks later, when I encountered her again. Of the four washrooms, there is only one small handicap-accessible one, and it is located in a small alcove behind the stairs. And this woman had gotten her land-boat stuck in there. If you ever saw the Austin Powers movie where he gets this little buggy stuck sideways in a hallway, it was like that. She's moving the scooter three inches back and forth and back and forth, while her dazed looking friend is looking on with dismay.
So when I arrived, I asked very politely if they needed help. And they did indeed. Now, I'm a pretty solid woman, but I'm not huge, nor particularly tall. But after a few more attempts to free the cart, I just bent down, gripped the bumper of the scooter, which probably weighed about 500 pounds with the woman and all her crap on it, lifted the front end, turned the scooter 90 degrees, and set it down again.
Landboat and her friend are both awed, and one of them says, "Holy crap you're strong!"
I grinned at them, and particularly to Landboat, and told her quietly, "Yeah, People should be polite to me." And then louder, "No problem, have a nice day." And walked away smirking.
YOU are awesome Seraph! And for that we give you a prestigious Retail Balls Award. You rose above Landboat's lower level of slime and acted like a human. Not easy for a Wronged Retail Slave. Jason wanted to leave the Landboat bitch stuck, Carolanne wanted to throw gummi bears at her, and Freddy wanted to call a tow truck. Seraph,you have big giant cinematic balls and we salute you!
If you have a story where you've used your Retail Balls to keep a customer or manager in line, send it to us! Who knows, maybe you could be our next winner! Submit@retailhellunderground.com