Fairly recently, 3-Syllable Bank bought out all branches of Financial Institution of Country in our county. Le Boyfriend had an account with FIC, and decided he didn't want to carry his account over to 3 Syllable. So, he moved his account to local Credit Union.
Today, Boyfriend received a letter from 3-Syllable that his account was over drafted. This, naturally, leads to a "What the fucking fuck is this shit?!" reaction. He went up to 3-Syllable, and was like "Hey, so I don't have an account with you. Would you like to explain to me how an account that doesn't exist is over drafted?"
Short version, here: He had never bothered to close out a savings account with $3 in it at FIC. When 3-Syllable bought FIC, they took over the FIC accounts, but did not carry any money over - so he automatically had a $0 account. 3-Syllable requires a minimum balance. If you go under said balance in your account, you owe them money. So "overdraft" isn't the right word and it's kind of bullshit.
Boyfriend: So... I'm being charged for having less than the minimum balance in an account I didn't ask for, and in fact said I didn't want to open?
3-Syllable Representative: Yes. It's a $40 fee.
Boyfriend: I'm going to pay it just so we can be done. Close that shit out. Who do I write this check out to? To 3-Syllable?
3-Syllable Rep: Yes.
Boyfriend writes check, hands it over.
Boyfriend: I *just* asked you who to write it out to.
Rep: Oh, sorry, I didn't hear you.
Boyfriend: Then why would you say yes?!?!
Rep stares at him.
Boyfriend: Then give me that check back so I can void it out!
Rep hands the check back. As Boyfriend is writing the new check, Rep asks "So why did you go to Local Credit Union instead of sticking with 3-Syllable?"
Boyfriend: BECAUSE THEY DON'T CHARGE ME $40 FOR NOT HAVING MONEY IN AN ACCOUNT I NEVER FUCKING OPENED!!!
I just saw Boyfriend's current FB status. "I never say things like this, but 3-Syllable Bank can eat a bag of dicks." And yes, he *did* tag 3-Syllable in his status.