Hey my retail brethren!
I'm here with a tail of woe and sweet justice delivered. During this particular incident I was on the customer side of the register and not the working side.
So it was a nice sunny day in Edinburgh and I was on my way to my Little sister's work place to drop off some lunch for her like the good big brother I am. Lets call my sister Vicki. Vicki works in a high end clothing and house decoration shop and I have heard many stories of the entitled snobs she deals with on a daily basis, that's the huge difference with my work and her's, I deal with Chavs (Thugs for any one who doesn't know the word) and general everyday idiots, she works with rich idiots. I've never seen one of these morons before, until this day.
So I walk in and Vicki's all smiles and sunshine so I imagine her shift has been a tad shitty at this point as she's more than happy to get on her lunch break and we go outside to chill on the grass and enjoy the rare bit of sunshine we're getting.
So me and Vicki are chattering away when Uptight Rich Bitch, URB for short walks up to the two of us and slams her bags down in front of us giving vicki a death stare and unleashes the following volley of verbal diarrhea at her.
Vicki has her name badge off and eating which is the universal sign in the work place for leave me the fuck alone I'm not working at this current point in time but that doesn't stop this uppity old bat.
URB: "Just what do you think you're doing?"
Vicki: "Having my lunch break?"
URB: "You weren't having it 5 minutes ago!!"
Vicki: [in friendliest customer service voice] "Yes I was ma'am but I was waiting to take my break a 1:30 which was 5 minutes ago."
URB: "THIS IS RIDICULOUS! THE WOMAN IN THERE TOLD ME YOU WOULD HELP HELP ME SHOP!!!"
At this point I'm thinking "Just what the hell is this woman's problem? It's a slightly expensive clothing store, not the bloody Ritz hotel." But I held my tongue for the moment until she got more insulting.
URB: "NO! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I'VE JUST FOUND THE CLOSEST WORKER OF THIS STORE TO ME AND YOU'RE GONNA REFUSE ME SERVICE?? THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS SERVICE, I'VE NEVER MET SUCH AN INCOMPETENT LITTLE BITCH IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!"
At this point I did my duty to stand up for my siblings because all of the children of my mum and dad were taught well with how to deal with people. Vicki, being the youngest of 4, and me being a good deal bigger and taller than this woman, I was not hesitant to step in. I can listen to someone be displeased with her, but the second a random hag calls her a bitch, oh you just made a big mistake.
Me: "Let me just stop you right there, this nice young lady you just had the balls to insult for having her break is my sister, let me tell you something. As I retail assistant manager myself I would never, ever talk to anyone let alone a worker who's minding their own business the way you just talked to her. Why don't you do her and this entire business a favor and take your money else where because they don't need the money of a spiteful old dog who has no respect for anyone."
Oh god the reaction, the reaction priceless.
URB: "EXCUSE ME??? WHO ARE YOU TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT?"
Me: "I'm someone who gives respect where it's deserved."
URB: "YOU'VE NOT GIVEN ME ANY RESPECT!!"
Me: "Because you don't deserve it."
URB: "WHO DO YOU WORK FOR? I'LL BE REPORTING YOU TO THE MANAGERS!"
Me: "Well good luck with that because I don't need to tell you anything about where I work, and I am one of the managers. Do yourself a favor and just go away."
After that little ordeal Vicki nearly hugged the life out of me and I reported the incident to her manager, who I'm good friends with, and told her to look out for a slightly angry looking, shriveled up raisin.