Hi guys, Spawn Wrangler again, wow it's been a long time since I submitted! Now you guys may recall I work in an after-school club, keeping the little boogers entertained until their parents can pick 'em up.
First bit of news; Tommy the Demon-spawn did get kicked out of the club eventually and has since left the school, much to the relief of all. (After he smacked a member of staff, another story for another time.) :) His sister still comes to club, and while she's no angel she's no worse than any other girl her age. I still can't work out how his parents messed up so badly with one and not the other!
So now club is a pretty fun place, truthfully, my job rocks, it's never boring and I'm working with some of the most interesting (if slightly bonkers) people on earth!
Buuuut there's this one kid...
Actually, no, Alfie is a nice enough but slightly whiny little boy. Alfie's mummy on the other hand...
There isn't a single member of staff she's not yelled at for some imagined slight to her or her precious babykins. We have four members of staff.
She sometimes comes straight from work with her birds in the van with her, cool. However she was bringing these huge Macaws into the school to fetch her son (on leashes), now I'm fine with birds being out and experiencing things, it's good for them! But we're not allowed to have animals in school. No. Never.
Risk of infection etc, ignoring the fact that this is a club with at any given time, 20-30 excitable children in it, they get grabby. They do not know how to handle birds, these are birds which can break bones on a whim.
Alfie's mum is asked nicely not to bring them into the building due to health concerns; this prompts her into a forty-five minute rant about how she's not leaving expensive birds alone in the car park while she fetches her son! X_X look lady, I know how much birds cost but it's a school parking lot and it takes five minutes, tops, to pick up your kid, they're not going to be stolen.
She gets all huffy and demands a member of staff go stand at her van while she gets her kid. T_T...... Nope, paid to look after kids, not your birds.
2. Alfie is a bit of a whiner, and a little accident prone.
His best friend/arch nemesis (who can tell at that age?) is very rough-play focused Jack. So one night they're playing and Alfie falls, bumping his knee very slightly. Tears, screaming, 'I'm telling.' Cold compress, written in accident book, Jack apologises (though honestly they were both to blame), dealt with? Ohhhh no!
Alfie's mum arrives, we explain he's had a tiny bump, how it happened etc. Mum proceeds to yell at us for not watching him, he's not allowed to play with Jack (Neither she nor a teacher had told anyone this), will sue us if Alfie's permanently scarred etc. etc. (should point out that Alfie was at this point playing a skipping game...)
3. Ok this does sound dumb but it's a rule of the school, not just the club so it's not as if the kid has no excuse; the children HAVE to finish chewing and swallowing before they leave the table, even if they're just having an apple, they have to be sitting to eat. It's down to concerns about them tripping and choking. Alfie ignores this rule EVERY. SINGLE. SNACKTIME. Now one night Alfie gets up and runs off to join in a game of dodgeball with half an apple in his hand and the other half in his mouth. Staff member calls (not nastily) "Alfie, sit down while you're eating!"
Alfie's mum had, at that exact moment, walked in. Proceeds to bitch out my co-worker (the sweetest lady in the world, seriously, she also works support in the four plus [kindergarten] classes and they all love her like their granny) for 'Shouting at her son, how dare she!'
Poor sweet lady was shaking afterwards and kept asking us if she'd yelled angrily or anything at the kid. >( We're now all at a point where we're not happy to interact with Alfie's mum at all, agreement is made that only Cool Manager will speak with her when she comes in.
4. This one's my turn with this alpha bitch.
It's mid summer and we're spending all afternoon outside on the playground with the kids, it's awesome, picnics are had, stories told, sort of summer afternoons you remember a long time.
We're all cheerful and loving our jobs, which is maybe why I forgot what this woman was like. So Alfie's mum arrives to collect and heads over to the manager to pay. I'm hanging out at that end of the playground doing my thing, look up towards the car park. I admit our carpark is badly placed at the end of the playground on a slope which runs right into it (I'm constantly chasing lost equipment down there), and there's a curve which means cars coming up the path can't see who's in the carpark until they get there. This is why we have a rule saying no children can go into the carpark without an adult.
Alfie is in the car park. Alfie is playing behind a station wagon. Another car is coming. Car has ZERO chance of seeing this spindly little child. No joke, this kid would have been a smear.
World goes into slow-motion, Spawn Wrangler leaps across to the car park shouting something along the lines of 'Alfie you DO NOT go on the car park without a grown up! Alfie there's a car coming!' grab Alfie's hand and escort him back to the playground. Stand there a moment trying to get brain back into gear.
Cunt: How DARE you scream at my CHILD! I said he could go to the car! RAR RAR RAR!"
Spawn Wrangler: *blinking and trying to work out wtf* We... we have a rule, no children on car park alone-
Cunt: HE'S IN MY CARE SO HE CAN DO WHAT I SAY! YOU NEVER YELL AT MY CHILD!
Spawn Wrangler: *too confused for answer*
Cunt: *scooping Alfie (who's fine btw, very child and eating a lollipop) into her arms, fixes SW with a glare* Apologise to him.
Spawn Wrangler: ...
Spawn Wrangler: ... *brain switches back on, sweetest voice I can muster* Alfie sweetie, sorry if I shouted just then, but it was only because there was a car coming and I was very worried you were going to be hit, and you know the last thing I want is for you to be hurt because you were down there alone with no-one watching, right?
Cunt: *huffs and stomps off muttering about me*
Just bizzare. So I get yelled at for making sure her son doesn't get turned into pavement pizza? Cool Manager was bloody furious about that one, (would have intervened had she not been with another parent), and the parent driving the car which would have hit Alfie? Came over and asked if I was ok and thanked me for grabbing him since they had no way of seeing him.
I've point-blank stopped interacting with Alfie as much as possible, it's not fair to the kid but it's not fair to me that I get yelled at and undermined by his mum either.
Ugh, right, I'm off to draw kittens with awesome kids, seeya!