Shoutout to the special snowflake who took ages to get his money together and then kept me standing at drive thru with the window open to talk to him. I also definitely appreciated him blowing cigarette smoke into the store. It's not like I'm allergic to it and asthmatic or anything.
Him: Why don't you have a jacket on? Aren't you cold?
Me: Well, you can see me shivering, right? I mean, it's about 14F out, the window keeps freezing shut if I have it closed for more than twenty seconds, but I took my jacket off to deck scrub and mop, since we close in fifteen minutes.
Him: Oh yeah? You guys do that mopping stuff early!
Me: *fake smile* I was almost done, but then all these cars wanted drive through, so here I am, talking to you with the window open.
He finally took the hint. It's 14 degrees outside, asshole. I don't want to stand here with the window open and talk to you! The window had to be pried open every time too, because it literally froze shut anytime I closed it. Thanks, condensation!
--Purveyor of Pizza
A background on the creep (who I will dub "Hoarder"), first. Hoarder's truck was easy to pick out in the drive-through during late-nights. Big clunker with rust orange paint that had room for only one person inside. All the extra space was filled with trash. You can't see out of the rear-view mirror, it is so full. There is a Hoarder-shaped hole inside of his truck's garbage.
If you ignored this first warning sign that something was up with the guy, the second comes in the order taking. He tries to come up with the cheapest order possible without going away hungry, thus taking up time when ordering. The shortest time it took for him to order, EVER was 90 seconds.
We can take an order, your money, and have you out in that amount of time, if you order something that's of the same price as what he did. Of course, no crusty-ordering is complete without asking you to do something that is against health code or damages supplies (such as sticking something in a non-microwavable container in the microwave).
Even better, when he comes up to pay, he asks for more things, hoping dearly that it doesn't cost. While I fume about the amount of time Hoarder's taking to fish out of a soda can the cash to pay for his meal, he's trying to hit on me. I'm sorry dude, but ewwww.
Hoarder is only a few years younger than my mom. When I don't reciprocate, Hoarder asks for his friend, Grill Guy. If GG is in a good mood, he'll hog up my window space, and chat for FIVE MINUTES. FIVE MINUTES. That's about 7 minutes wasted now. After shooing Hoarder away (and yelling at GG for keeping the window open), Hoarder gets his food and munches on it (while on our timer), before driving away.
Last night, the GM had it. Not only did he ask for three requests on the order that we told him repeatedly that we cannot do, he still tried to add more at my window when I took his cash.
We were in a rush, so I was trying to take orders as well. Hoarder begs for me to stick his crap in the microwave, asking me if GG is free. GG had told me before that he did NOT want to talk to Hoarder. So I am trying to block Hoarder from badgering me, prevent Hoarder from seeing GG, take Hoarder's cash, and take orders ahead.
Hoarder finally got the message and went to the next window. For some reason, he decided that if I wasn't going to cave, the GM was. GM was already dealing with bad news and was upset because I had problems grabbing the orders. She flat told him that she was not going to tolerate this anymore. He takes up too much time hitting on her employees, making these strange requests, he was out. She told him not to come back.
After the GM calmed down, she informed the rest of us his ban. GG and I cheered. GG explained to the relatively new sandwich-maker and floor-person while I told the GM how relieved I was. (Apparently, I lifted her mood because she "never heard me cuss before" until I told her that Hoarder scared the shit out of me).
I found out I might need to change my name. Recently, my coworkers, who I work the dinner rush with, have taken up mocking me. I tend to be very energetic when I take orders (to the point almost being a bit "squeaky") and I have some hearing loss. Whenever I say something that turns out "squeaky" like "okay!" or "alrighty!" I can hear them mocking me with screechy voices.
If I ask a customer to repeat something because I couldn't hear, one of my coworkers will yell at me for not hearing. The manager working at this time, Cici, tries to cut this down, but she can only do so much.
One particular day, my coworkers were picking out nicknames for each other. This discussion is going on the headset as they are in different parts of the store. (Note: I don't hear them if I'm taking an order) Just after I finished taking an order, I hear this on the headset:
"Psy is SUCH a tramp!"
Cici catches this when I do. Normally, Cici would ask them to cut it out, but, she had something better in mind. Cici knows I like anime (my favorite being Gundam). So, the response I hear before I could turn on my headset:
"No, Psy is an ANIME tramp!"
(I will now apologize for the butchering of language that is about to happen.)
Me: Cici, you might want to turn your headset volume down.
Cici: *smiles, turns the volume down*
Me: *turns on the headset speaker, with my energetic voice, now layered with diabetic-inducing sweetness* Why, arigato Cici-ni-chan~! That name ga is sooo kawaii desu desu ne~!
The screeching heard from the back of the store was absolutely priceless.
The night crew I close with suggested I get a nametag that says "Anime Tramp," although I couldn't wear it to work. But whenever someone tries to mock my voice, the floor guy and I would try to compete with each other to see who could compliment the other in the most "weeaboo" way possible. Although, I think I'll stick with Psy still.
Now, I need to wash my mouth out for even typing up that abuse of the Japanese language.
Sorry it's been awhile folks, been having some serious non-fun juggling the two jobs and some family drama/illness.
I've been half holding onto this for a bit, waiting to see if it'll be resolved soon. My guess is she'll magically appear tonight since I've given up and written in. Sorry if it's a little long. We'll call this woman Runner.
Runner comes in to get her poster, running number, and sheet with finishing times/placement/etc from the 2012 Boston Marathon. Brave and I talk with her a bit, congratulate her on finishing, and talk options. She wants it as small as possible, but still wants all the items in the frame, but given the size she wants to keep it to, we can't get it all in without covering a large chunk of the design on the main poster.
We spend almost 2 hours going over what the size would be if we just did the poster without the number & placement papers, how small we could get everything if we did have everything in, price differences between the two sizes plus all the regular glass/mat/frame options. We offer to save the options in the computer if she's worried about wall space so she can go home and measure to see what would fit, but she insists she wants to get it ordered today. Finally she decides to have all the items in the same frame, as small as possible, without covering the main design of the poster bust covering some stuff in the corners.
Wonderful! About $400 later, her order is all put in and she leaves. (I will go ahead and mention that the smaller size without the number & placement pages only dropped the price ~$35. Poster was big as heck anyway, and at the time, she was nice, and we liked her, so we didn't charge the extra labor for the fancy stuff we were doing.)
Fast forward about 3 weeks later when she comes to pick up her piece. Because this is on RHU, all you intelligent people can guess that Runner didn't like it. Or more to the point, "You did a wonderful job, but it is just too big."
I call Brave's cell phone, we pow wow for a few, and come up with a game plan for what we're telling her.
"Ok, normally, since this was a custom order, you'd have to pay to have it redone. We're going to redo it for you once for free, but after this, if you want to change it again, we're going to have to charge you. Ok?"
Runner's entire demeanor suddenly changes "But if I'm not happy, you have to fix it. I'm not happy now, and if I'm not happy then you have to make me happy. That's how this works."
In the course of three sentences, she has gone from someone sweet, who I didn't mind, to loathed. "Well, we try to make customers happy, but corporate also can't just keep redoing things for people for free if they change their minds. This was all custom ordered, meaning we can't use it for anyone else, and anything else we order as a replacement will be the same. We didn't do anything wrong with your order; we did what you asked. We're being nice and giving you one free redo, which we aren't supposed to do. I'm just required to warn you we won't be redoing it again for free."
Now Runner is kinda stamping her foot every few words to make a point. "This wasn't what I wanted. When I first came in, I said I wanted it small so you didn't do what I asked and I won't pay for anything. You talked me into that huge thing, it's not what I wanted. You need to calm down, you're getting hostile with me!"
I just raise an eyebrow at her. "Ma'am, I'm not getting hostile, I'm not yelling or stamping my feet. I'm trying to explain to you what we can and can't do, and why, so you understand. I'm not asking you to pay for anything now, I've just said several times we're redoing it for you this time for free, I'm just informing you that beyond that, there won't be any free re-workings. You may have said you wanted it small, but you all wanted all these items in the frame. If I hadn't been part of the team taking the order, you might get away with saying it wasn't what you wanted, but the other girl and myself went through all your size and assembly options several times and even suggested several times you go home and measure the space so you could be sure if it fit or not. Furthermore, you signed on this sheet of paper saying you understood what we were ordering in and doing for you and that you agreed to it. So, you can either work with me to decide on something smaller for your one freebie, or you can sign that you picked it up and leave unhappy."
She decided to work with me. We then went back and forth for another hour about how wide her new mat would be. She wanted it a 3/4ths of an inch. I warned her that a mat smaller than the frame can be visually distracting. (It generally looks like you were trying to force something. The other complaint I've heard is that people end up staring at the mat trying to figure out why their brain is telling them something is wrong instead of looking at whatever is in the frame.)
Runner whines, "But if I make the mat as wide as the frame, I'm only taking off 4 inches of the total size!"
"If you put it where you want it, you're only taking off 5 inches of the total size. It's an inch difference overall. Really, we'll stick to the re-doing this for free once. We'll hold it for you if you want to go home and actually measure the space you want to put it in. We'll put the re-order in when you come back." Again, she wants to get it done today. She makes a decision, I have her sign off on the paperwork, in which I have also noted she understands we're only doing this once.
Four days pass. I get a call from the new kid in the frame shop (who is looking like he'll last longer than 2 months, but that's another story). "You remember Runner? She called today. She wanted to cancel the re-order and just pick stuff up as it was. I know she was your customer and how frustrating she's been, so I didn't want to say anything until I checked with you."
After all that, she's willing to just take it? Now that we can't cancel the order anymore, the company is out the money, which we will get blamed for? "Don't worry kid, I'll call her when I get in."
Oh boy, did I. I told her if she just wanted to take it, she was more than welcome to come by and pick it up- it was hers. However, if she then got it home, changed her mind again and did want it smaller, her free re-do was already used because it was too late to cancel the new order we had put in and she would be paying for any changes. Alternately, when the new frame and mat came it, we could put the frame together so she could see how big it was compared to the old one, but for the time being leave the poster and everything in the current frame if she decided she'd like to keep the original.
The other caveat to this was that whatever she decided on the phone with me would be final and any other phone calls about changing her mind again would be ignored. We'd given her the opportunity to put off the decision until she had all the facts from her home in both instances, which she hadn't wanted to do, so we were putting our foot down at this point that she either took everything or waited for the new stuff to get in, period. She complained that this would count as her free re-do, but finally decided to wait for the new frame.
So, her new frame came in a few days ago, we're just waiting for her to come look at them. I can't wait to get this woman out of our hair.
May all your custies be decisive.
Reposted From RHU Archives:
This Bloodsucking Customer Freak is known to ask the same question over and over again until your head shrivels up. Do you want to end up like poor little Kimberly here? Word on the escalator is Antwoniettiansarcrazian has a closet full of shrunken Retail Slave Heads.
This Bloodsucker MUST BE STOPPED! If you see her please report to us immediately - we will send someone over to vaporize her. Better yet - leave a comment here and tell us what you think should be done to her!
I’m happy to see you and glad you came, but if you are going to tip me poorly like usual (because I’m your friend, you can get away with it, or something?), then I would rather you just not come at all.
Newsflash, your two dollars (if I’m lucky maybe three) are not going to pay my bills, and neither is the ridiculous amount of time of mine that you consume while you are here. Most likely you’ve interrupted the table rotation with your “special request,” as you usually do, and I missed my chance to actually make any money.
I know you don’t tip this poorly all the time, due to that time you complained/worried for half an hour because you thought you under-tipped the lady at the Chinese place and you thought she was going to hate you forever, so what gives?
Freddie: What have you done my child?
RHU, this is not easy for me to admit I had no idea in doing so I was causing hell to anyone. So for anyone that deals with me in the future I apologize in advance....
I'm a Bloodsucker..sort of.
1. Only a few weeks ago I walked into a pet store and for 20 minutes asked the retail sales associate there about different types of Cat Food at the time I had no intention of buying it but collecting information to get my pets on something healthier.
Wanting to make an informed decision on it I asked numerous questions about the products in the store, how they compare, if anything would have a negative impact on my cats that have been known to have possible allergies to certain foods. I made sure to not bother her for the one other customer that came in but when she as free I asked again. I thanked her profusely for putting up with me and bought the food a week later.
2. Going back to when I was living on my own I was in charge of the internet/phone/tv. I remember asking every possible option asking what pay increases there would be or if I could save money by taking something out of the plan by decreasing something we weren't really using. Apologizing profusely the whole way at how much I was asking from these slaves.
3. I do this on the job as well to my managers. Anything I'm not sure of and if I'm missing any detail I'll press it. (I'll submit another story after this about what happened.) If I come across anyone in the future I apologize in advance. If I'm asking for something in detail (for me at least) I will most likely buy it because I'm definitely interested but I just like to make very informed decisions (Doesn't help I'm highly curious either). I know mentally you're pulling your hair out and I do truly feel sorry for it. There is hope for me though I guess. Usually I'll remember to mention that I do have lots of questions (As with the phone/tv/internet company everytime I spoke with them) some of them may be considered obvious or stupid.
There it is my confession to being a bloodsucker and I'm not proud of it.
Today, we discuss Bloodsuckers!
These beasties are rare in the standard retail location. They require a special environment in which to flourish: namely commission oriented retail. Bloodsuckers are pale beings with withered looking skin and a very distinctive hunting method for their prey. A Bloodsucker on the hunt may appear to be friendly and attentive, oftentimes very eager to receive attention from the Retail Slave.
The lure of the bloodsucker is neigh on impossible to resist. First they may approach a Retail Slave or else be receptive to a proactive Slave who wishes to get those few extra dollars of commission for the day. From there, the lure has succeeded, and the Retail Slave is hooked. With his or her prey seized, the Bloodsucker begins sapping the Retail Slave's will to live.
Eager to draw precious lifeblood, the Bloodsucker begins to ask questions about the products in the store. They may seem ignorant, or intelligent, but it's always the endless questions that identify them. The questions are designed to take up a lot of time, preventing the Slave from assisting other customers and receiving more money. It is through this trickery that the Retail Slave may persist, hoping for a wondrous commission at the end when all questions are satisfied.
This is always an empty wish. Once the bloodsucker is satisfied, they release their prey and leave, having given nothing in return. The Retail Slave is left frustrated with nothing to show for their hard work and helpful attitude. That money that they should have earned on a sold product never existed in the first place, and they've lost several chances for a commission from someone else.
A similar lure begins the same way as the first, with the attentive Bloodsucker asking questions, and ending with a large purchase. However, the following day, some or all of the products bought by the Bloodsucker are returned for a refund. The end result still leaves the forlorn Retail Slave without his or her commission.
There isn't a lot a Custologist can do in defense against a Bloodsuker, as it is impossible to tell beforehand or sometimes even during a Bloodsucker's feeding session. The best defense is, unfortunately, to not work in a commission oriented retail environment. If a Custologist is paid by the hour, the effects of a feeding Bloodsucker is ineffective. If you happen to be trapped with a Bloodsucker your only defense is to remember their face and do your best to avoid them during future feedings. Alert coworkers (if they are worth it) to the tactics of the Bloodsucker and do your best to avoid them in the future.
Homework: Recall a time when you where attacked by a bloodsucker. Please share it with the class.