Right, so, I am a horrible, evil woman who will ensure a tenth circle of hell is created just for me. Be that as it may, I don't want your fucking telemarketer calls at 7 am. I ESPECIALLY don't want your fourth call in a row on the fourth day in a row after I already told you No before.
I've been nice, asked them to remove me and hung up three times. It's quick, it's simple, and it frees you up for calling the next one on your list. But then...
I'm asleep in happy bliss land when the phone rings. Dad has left for work so... shit, I better answer that just in case. I may have to throw on some clothes and pick him up or something. Car troubles are creeping in, so it's not outside the realm of possibility that dad's broken down.
Nope, it's yet another dude who wants to sell me shit.
Me: "No thank you." (Why am I still being polite? I must be too sleepy to be a bitch right now... Zzzz *snork* What? Oh yeah, dude on the phone.)
Him: "But this is a really great deal! Can you tell me why you don't want this awesome magical rainbow that will cure world cancer?"
Me: "Because I'm not interested. Please remove me from your list." (Irritation is creeping in.)
Him: "But this rainbow will also help you fly! And it will grant wishes!"
Okay, he's a telemarketer. He has a job to do. And he's probably not allowed to hang up. But now he has deliberately ignored my direct request. I am now awake enough to flip the switch from 'politely uninterested' to 'holy fucking shit she just made the dinosaurs extinct with just a look.'
Me: "I. Am. Not. Interested. Please remove me from your list or I will take steps. This is the fourth time your company has called me offering this." (Now normally people get wary, because at refusal four, harassment threats are a possibility.)
I have left my bedroom and entered my computer room; which incidentally has a close-able door.
Him: "Did I mention this rainbow will make you win the lottery fifteen times in a row?"
Hello youtube! My delightful repository of heaven or hell on earth! I need your skills DAH-ling! Now where is it? Oh there it is!
One hour long rendition of "It's A Small World After All" in HD. I rev it up. The first strains filter through my speakers.
Me: "I've tried to be nice. I've asked you to remove me. Now maybe I could have hung up on you, but then again, the last four times I tried, it didn't work. Happy listening."
I put the phone by the speakers, close the door behind me and crawl back into bed. I get up in an hour anyway. When I do, the automated response is running "If you'd like to make a call please hang up and try again."
I wonder how long it took for him to crack like an egg...
One week later, and no phone calls from that company. Imagine that.