Whellp, I've now been wet-farted upon by a pair of ass cheeks and a sphincter so mighty that I am in awe of the soft brown log he has disgorged. (Translation: a huge asshole yelled at me at work.)
I work in DudeNameCrafts during the Unholy O'clock hours, to stock shelves. It's a few days before Valentines Day, so what are we doing? If you guessed Easter Shit, congratulations!
I'm stocking crap with two other coworkers, W and J. It is all peaceful and happy. J asks me to take a U-Boat (read: a kind of narrow, flat cart) full of overstock into the back to get it out of the way. We'll load it onto the conveyor belt to transport it to the second floor in just a few minutes.
Suddenly a Wild Asshole appears in the tall grass! Fight, Magic, Item Or Run?
Too late! Suddenly Asshole Attacks!
He's talking to a truck driver about a Framing shipment (Asshole's department) when he sees me coming in with the U Boat. In a nasty, rapid fire angry voice he barrages me:
Asshole: "What is that? What are you doing with that? Is that Upstock? I want to know what you're doing!"
Maybe if you fucking shut up long enough for me to answer, maybe you'd get that answer!
Me: "Yes Asshole, it's Upstock. I'm just putting it by the conveyor belt for a few minutes, then we're going to start taking it upstairs."
Well if that's the mood you're in, I'mma just avoid you as much as possible...
I go back out onto the floor and help stock a bit more, then I'm asked to take the second U Boat full of garbage to the back. Oh boy...
The truck has since left. All the store's U Boats and Shark Cages (think big, flat bed, roll around carts with a grid of bars on all sides) are stashed back here leaving only a narrow aisle to traverse to the compactor.
The compactor's door is locked, and it has been declared that the compactor is broken (again). This means that for at least 24 hours, nobody can put shit into the compactor. Aaaand GUESS WHO is standing at the far end of the narrow aisle, close to the compactor!
Fuck it, I throw up my hands in defeat. Asshole is in a bad mood and our orders are to put the cardboard trash in a shark cage when/if the compactor is broken. I'm not going to go all the way down that narrow aisle with an awkward U Boat and risk Asshole getting on my case because I'm crowding him or something. I just start putting the trash in a shark cage.
Asshole uses Roar! Ilia is temporarily deaf!
Asshole: "Do you mind telling me why you're putting garbage in the shark tank that far away from the compactor?!"
He storms past me.
Me: "You yell at me for everything else, anyway."
He spins around: "Do I have to go tell [manager] that you're mouthing off behind my back?!"
I wasn't mouthing off "behind your back," fuck brain, you were right there. I was telling you (almost) to your face that you're a hostile asshole.
I look him straight in the eyes: "I wasn't aware that you had gone that far. Asshole, you yell at me for everything, you hiss at me for everything, you snap at me for everything."
Asshole: "I yell at you because you always do things wrong!" *storms off*
Bullshit, he's yelled at me since my second day working when he yelled out, "You were doing it that way before, but now I'm here and you're going to do it MY WAY!" (Which means exactly what we've been doing before his ugly attitude showed up anyway.)
Coworker who was witness to the whole thing: "Don't even worry about it. We all fucking hate him, and he's got customer complaints enough to paper a wall. We try to avoid him, but if he's like that, the best thing you can do is look him in the eye and tell him off just like you did. They won't fire him, but they also know we all call him on his hostile bullying when he pulls it."
I hope and pray that Asshole doesn't have a wife or child...