This story was originally posted on: November 22, 2009
There are times, when working at Wal Mart is awesome. And tonight was one of those nights.
I was working the Smoke Shop (the name given to the register with the tobacco products ), and around 15 minutes before my shift was to end, a couple of punks walked up to the register. Before the guy in front of them could even finish paying, one of them said "Pack of Newport 100's, and make it quick we're in a mother fuckin hurry got it?"
The following conversation took place:
ME: "Got your ID?"
CUSTOMER #1: "Yeah, I got my ID"
CUSTOMER #2: "We both got our fuckin ID's so we're straight"
ME: "Watch the language please"
CUSTOMER #2: "Why?"
ME: "Because it's rude and disrespectful, and I don't appreciate it"
CUSTOMER #1: "Yeah"
ME: "Last warning, either cut the trash talk, or find somewhere else to buy your smokes"
CUSTOMER #2: "This is fucked up bullshit"
**unknown to me, our back and forth has gotten the attention of a manager, who has walked over to the CSM podium so he can hear us, without letting on that he's now paying strict attention to what's going on**
ME: *walks away from register*
CUSTOMER #1: "Hey, the Newports are right there" *points*
ME: *walks back to register* "I know perfectly well where the god damn Newports are. I'm not about to stand here and let a couple of 19 year old cocksucking pricks act like assholes and expect me to wait on them and let them get the fuck away with it. There's a gas station across the street, next place is either Kangaroo or On the Run. Pick one" *walks away again*
CUSTOMER #2: "We wanna talk to your manager"
CUSTOMER #1: "Yeah, your manager"
MANAGER: *walks up to the register* "Something I can do for you gentlemen?"
CUSTOMER #1: "We wanna make a complaint"
CUSTOMER #2: "She's being a bitch"
CUSTOMER #2: "Good, then you know what we're talking about"
CUSTOMER #1: "Yeah dude, you see how she's been treating us"
MANAGER: "Let me get this straight. You want to file a customer complaint because instead of my cashier overlooking your behavior and letting you get away with it, she had the balls to call you out on it, and put you in your place?"
CUSTOMER #2: "Yeah, I mean NO"
CUSTOMER #1: "Dude, can we just get some smokes?"
MANAGER: "Sure, at the gas station across the street, or anywhere else you want to go. Just not here. You gentlemen need to leave the store now, before I call the cops and have you escorted from the premises. "
*both customers beat a hasty retreat out the door*
ME: "What if they call in a complaint on the 1-800 number?"
MANAGER: "I don't think they're that smart. But if they do I'll tell Steve that you were justifiably provoked, and it was a last resort. What time are you outta here?"
ME: "As soon as reset hits"
MANAGER: "That's what, fifteen minutes from now? You can go ahead and go, no big deal"
MANAGER: "Have a good night"
ME: "You too!"
I had an idiot who, when we were all ABSOLUTELY swamped at the tills, popped up like a gopher from somewhere in the chaos and said, "I only have one item! Can you just take me while you're waiting?"
Fuck and no. I was in the middle of a transaction and shit was coming up that I couldn't do anything to speed up.
So no - wait your turn like all the other grown-ups, dickhead!
Thankfully, working fast food, we don’t take checks. A lot of credit companies want signatures (Master Card in particular), so I still always have to on hunts for pens.
I’ve had customers end up signing their receipts in dry-erase marker, Sharpie and pencil…There was one time it took me so long to finally find a freaking Sharpie (all the pens I found were dead) for the lady to sign with, that she was getting ready to sign with blood or her fingernail.
"Which ever," she said "you think would be more legible.”
Fingernail. Definitely fingernail. The company is retail hell, but we don't make deals with the devil.
There are times when there isn't much on a gift card, and some store policies state that the customer can't get cash back on them.
I always use that as an opportunity to sell something more, like a candy or something. And when that fails, they generally just leave the small amount on the gift card with the cashier because they “live two hours away."
After a few weeks running cash after Christmas, you can really treat yourself that way!
Just be careful though... even through they're abandoned, and you're using them for store products, some places still consider it "stealing."
Why is it so hard to swipe a damn card?
Even if every card swiper were indeed truly different, there are only two ways to swipe the card once you see where the channel is.
In most cases, it’s with the magstripe to the right or to the left. Some of them you swipe across the top, in which case the magstripe is either facing up or down.
It’s not that freaking complicated especially since most of them even come equipped with a little picture illustrating how to swipe properly!
I saw a lot of customers who wouldn't sign their credit cards (despite it not being valid without one) while working a convenience store.
One person came in, having his credit card and no picture ID, saying he didn’t want to sign it for safety. I gave a short explanation of the reason it should be signed... namely, putting it in my pocket and telling him he now had no possible way to prove it was his.
He signed it as soon as I gave it back to him.
Got a talking-to about it by a manager but it was worth it.