From hootersgirl19: The cashier's face makes this. He was buying dip and cigarettes.
Just came across this piece of work in today's newspaper, where the columnist's idea of amusement is to make a sport out of pretending to be confused about the self-checkouts at the supermarket, wasting the assistant's time and patience under the excuse of old age. Simply despicable behavior for someone who should damn well know better.
MY latest hobby is being confused about automatic checkout registers down at the supermarket with all the other old guys. Actually, it’s more than a hobby. It’s practically a sport. There are two ways to play: competitive or recreational.
I prefer competitive, because recreational is mostly reserved for the really age-advanced who sometimes struggle to remember the score.
The aim is to gain the highest number of store assistant visits to your particular machine. The other day, for example, I was looking good on four visits — mostly for inexplicable baggage zone violations — when a rival oldster suddenly hit the jackpot.
He’d forgotten the name of a certain vegetable he wanted to purchase and therefore couldn’t look it up on his machine’s produce list.
This resulted in three separate assistant visits as between them they struggled to locate the mysterious item.
“It’s some kind of onion. A fancy onion,” the man ventured, leading to the eventual detection of an onion sub-menu. A few more screen taps and the magic word “shallots” finally appeared.
Scores are kept according to a strict honour system, because otherwise it would be too easy to game the process by feigning incompetence and drawing easy visits. There is no room for underhanded shenanigans in the Checkout Confusion caper.
It’s important, too, to play at the appropriate level. I’ve learned from bitter experience not to compete with Checkout Confusion champions.
They will wipe the floor with you, and also any milk or prune juice they happen to drop.
It’s easy to tell if a genuine champ is in the vicinity. Just observe the assistants’ expressions.
If they look especially harried and furious, a master is at work. In those circumstances I generally just keep shopping until things calm down and my own substandard blundering is ready for display. The really great thing about this sport is that you’re absolutely certain to get better at it with age, at least until you hit the recreational level. Those guys just can’t keep up with progress.
When the state coins first came out, I used to sort through my change (during down time, of course) for ones I didn’t have, and then switch out the one I wanted with an older one I had in my pockets.
You can’t be too obvious about it, though, or management will be all over you if you’re short so much as a penny.
I’ve gotten strange foreign coins from customers that I didn’t know what the heck they were. I just set them aside in my drawer until the end of shift, and let the managers figure out what to do with them.
I am sooo pissed at myself. I got two full rolls of silver dimes at the registers once.
I told the customer that they were valuable and they assured me I could have them. Netted $150.00 from the coin shop down the street.
Should have hung on to them though... That was 30 years ago and they are worth a fortune now.
On the subject of customers trying to use phone coupons, even if the store or cashier is inclined, it doesn't mean they can.
It's entirely possible their registers wont accept it; even stores in chains may have outdated software, or hardware. I saw some mall stores in chains that hadn't gotten updates in over ten years; they were too easily overlooked.
And some of the 'print as many as you like' coupons *still* have to be collected. It sucks when something doesn't make sense and corporate is breathing down your neck to do it a certain way, even when it's an inconvenience to the customer.
Customer: "But, I can go home and print another one, why can't you just give that one back to use later?"
Me: "I understand, but we have to prove to corporate that we saw this coupon and weren't just giving out free discounts to people."
"Corporate" can get *extremely* nit-picky when it comes to that kind of thing. I've seen cashiers get written up because somewhere along the line the coupon they dutifully collected and left with their paperwork got lost in the shuffle and no one can find it, so it gets shunted down to the lowest person available to take the blame.
I think my real issue is with corporate and upper management handing down stupid dictates and making dumbass decisions without knowing what it does at store-level. :-)
I am a cashier that would physically go get a customer and bring them to my line, but even if I did it would really crack me up when that customer PLUS the one behind them would follow me.
Ummmm, don’t you realize you just made your wait at least a couple of minutes LONGER now as you could have just moved forward and taken the place of the person I went and got? There are other cashiers who would have come to get you while I was helping the one you followed, you know...
It would take all my restraint to not “baaaa” at them. Stupid sheeple not thinking for themselves, just blindly following what the person in front of them does (sigh).
I’ve had a customer who complained about how long he stood in line, except he was all smug about it, like he solved the problem or something.
Customer: “I know what the problem is! Why don’t you have all three tills open?”
Me: “Because one till is broken, and one employee is broken.” (My coworker couldn’t come in that day due to injury.)